My wife said, βI donβt really understand the science behind human cloning.β
I said, βThat makes two of us.β
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︎ May 09 2021
Don't know if this was posted here before
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︎ May 10 2021
Why don't dinosaurs make good pets?
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︎ Apr 07 2021
There's so many bad puns on this sub' it's making me just feel numb, and don't talk about the math ones..
..they make me feel even number.
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︎ Apr 14 2021
I meant to cross post it but I donβt know why I cannot cross post so here is the screenshot version
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︎ Apr 23 2021
I don't even know how many puns I made here. I am a pun-aholic.
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︎ May 01 2021
Don't think too much
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︎ Apr 11 2021
Bilbo Baggins wakes up suddenly to βDonβt Stop Believingβ.
It was an unexpected Journey.
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︎ Mar 13 2021
Why donβt vampires play poker?
They are afraid of the stakes
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︎ May 02 2021
I don't mean to brag, but I have sychic powers.
For example, I know what all you are thinking right now. "It's spelt psychic, you idiot. "
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︎ May 02 2021
I donβt like pencil drawings of dark alleys
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︎ May 09 2021
Why don't cannibals ever cook noodles?
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︎ May 06 2021
I don't have a dad bod.
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︎ May 07 2021
I donβt mean to brag, but...
Cashiers are always checking me out.
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︎ Apr 23 2021
Yes don't forget to take it.
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︎ Mar 03 2021
You don't believe the Canadian president has a French name?
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︎ May 06 2021
I donβt really like my new haircut
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︎ Apr 25 2021
Don't sue me, pls.
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︎ Apr 14 2021
For those who donβt know what a power plant is
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︎ Apr 02 2021
What do you order when you donβt want to share your food?
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︎ May 05 2021
Donβt hate me...
Iβd like to thank my legs for keeping me on my feet, and my arms for always being by my side!
I love you guys!
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︎ May 07 2021
My Son came up to me this morning and said "Don't be sad".
Cuz "sad" backwards is "das". And das no good.
So proud
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︎ May 04 2021
Don't turn vegan...
It would be a big missed steak.
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︎ May 03 2021
I donβt trust stairs...
There is always something up with them
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︎ May 10 2021
Don't let your guard down
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︎ Apr 21 2021
Donβt by anything made with Velcro.
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︎ Apr 09 2021
Why don't cannibals like eating clowns?
They taste funny!
(I'll see myself out)
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︎ Apr 23 2021
When you try your best but you don't succeed
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︎ Apr 27 2021
My friend claims the he accidentally glued himself to his autobiography, but I donβt believe him.
But thatβs his story, and heβs sticking to it.
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︎ Jan 11 2021
I donβt really mind sitting on the left or right of a rowing boat.
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︎ Apr 26 2021
I don't know
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︎ Apr 23 2021
Pandas don't get confused.
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︎ Apr 08 2021
I don't understand why some people use fractions instead of decimals.
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Why donβt hotels have libraries?
That would make it too easy to book a room!
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︎ May 05 2021
When the mods of this sub don't do their jobs
I guess they should MOD-ify the rules, lol XD.
This pun brought to you by my hatred for the vast amount of non-puns on r/puns recently.
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︎ May 01 2021
If at first you don't succeed..
.. skydiving is not for you
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︎ Apr 07 2021
I don't think it's any faster
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︎ Apr 14 2021
Don't you mean...
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︎ Apr 04 2021
I don't know how it got pregnant I used a rubber.
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︎ Apr 20 2021
Doctor: "Relax David, It's just a small surgery. Don't panic!!"
Me: "But my name isn't David."
Doctor: "I know, I'm David."
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︎ Mar 01 2021
Why don't vultures check their bags when they fly?
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︎ May 03 2021
You don't need a therapist.
A 5 year old will tell you everything that's wrong with you for free.
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︎ May 02 2021
Why donβt librarians date coworkers?
Any time they try making plans theyβre already booked.
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︎ May 06 2021
Why donβt astronauts need health cover?
Because they are never under the weather.
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︎ May 07 2021
They just donβt taste right!
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︎ Nov 27 2020
A lumberjack was just about to chop down a tree when, miraculously, the tree said, "don't chop me down! I'm a talking tree!"
The lumberjack stepped back and said, "really? well, you'll die a log."
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︎ Apr 13 2021
Why don't the Jedi take off their shirts to greet each other?
Because only a Sith deals in ab salutes.
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︎ Dec 16 2020
Don't you dare CONSOLE my family
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︎ Mar 10 2021
I don't mean to brag..
but cashier's are always checking me out.
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︎ Mar 30 2021
I don't trust stairs.
They are always up to something.
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︎ Apr 16 2021
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