It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
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︎ Mar 02 2021
[META] Could we get some moderation in this sub?
In my eyes, this sub has a serious problem with non-dadjoke posts. Sub-reddit rule #1 is "Jokes must be dad jokes.". What good are the rules if they aren't enforced? I do realize that what constitutes a dadjoke might not be clarely defined, but we get a lot of posts that are marked nsfw. That's a "This is not a dadjoke"-flag. Why not start with removing nsfw posts?
PS: Why do we have rule #6? It is not possible for a dadjoke to be nsfw, so it should never be relevant.
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︎ Mar 29 2021
You get nowhere in life without taking a Risk, officer.
Thatβs why I robbed the board game store.
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︎ Mar 26 2021
I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
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︎ Dec 18 2020
If two vegans get in a fight...
... is it still considered a beef?
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︎ Apr 01 2021
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth.
Then it becomes a soap opera.
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︎ Mar 26 2021
I stood in the park wondering why a frisbee gets larger when it gets closer
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︎ Mar 20 2021
I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that youβd get the well-fortified tower area back.
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
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︎ Apr 05 2021
April Fools Jokes donβt get any big laughs in Hawaii.
They only get a low βHaβ.
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︎ Apr 01 2021
Don't you hate it when a cranberries song gets stuck in your head
In your head in your heeeaaad
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︎ Mar 19 2021
I work as a tattoo artist in a wellness center making very specific designs and everyone get really surprised when I tell them that I'm also a doctor...
Nobody expects the Spa Niche Ink Physician.
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︎ Mar 01 2021
What grade do pirates get in school
π︎ 42
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︎ Mar 03 2021
An ape joined a monastery but couldn't get in.
He was missing his monk-keys.
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︎ Mar 05 2021
How'd you get in here?
Oh I'm a locksmith, and I'm a locksmith
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︎ Apr 04 2021
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?
Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham
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︎ Jan 18 2021
How do trees get in the internet?
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︎ Mar 08 2021
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".
π︎ 13k
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︎ Sep 22 2020
I waited all afternoon to get my Covid vaccine in our small remote village, by the time it was my turn, they were administering them by candlelight...
Iβm really not sure how effective they are, seems as if they are a shot in the dark.
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︎ Mar 08 2021
Saw two members of a string section of an orchestra get in a fight...
They should know violins is never the answer..
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︎ Feb 17 2021
A priest in the woods has been attacked by a pack of wolves. In a moment of desperation, the priest started to ask God how to get out of this situation.
The wolves may be predators but he pray
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︎ Mar 02 2021
The best way to get in touch with your long lost relatives....
....is to win the lottery.
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︎ Feb 26 2021
Did you hear what happened when a man lied about his credentials to get in the band?
It was quite a con on drum ...
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︎ Feb 26 2021
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
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︎ Mar 05 2021
I think everyone should get married at some point in life
Noone deserves to be happy forever
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︎ Feb 18 2021
So last night my boyfriend left the bedroom door open to get more heat in the room because there are more heating vents in the hallway than in the bedroom. I said, "You might say it's eVENTful." He didn't laugh. So then I said, "You'll laugh eVENTually."
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Can't seem to get a job in the Covid Era...
I think I have hired immunitity.
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︎ Feb 24 2021
Not to get all political in this sub, but...
Did you guys know that the guy who was recently pepper sprayed by Portland's mayor is a big dairy heir?
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︎ Jan 27 2021
I was having problems with the printer at work last week and I had to ring the engineer. I told him that I kept putting paper in to the printer but the display kept saying it just can't get enough...
The engineer said "ah yes.... it's stuck in Depeche Mode"....
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︎ Jan 09 2021
What did the tree say to his buddy, who was about to get in a fight?
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︎ Feb 21 2021
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, βDad get out of the way!β
I said, βYouβre the ones blocking!β
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︎ Jun 27 2020
I ran out of toilet paper last week and can't afford to buy more till I get paid next week, so I started using the newspapers. Now the realisation has kicked in......
......... The Times are really Rough!!!
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︎ Dec 16 2020
How much does it cost to get your ears pierced in Tampa Bay?
A Buccaneer
Good win for them tonight.
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︎ Feb 08 2021
A fish steps outside her house and get hers fins and gills blown out of order by the weather, so she goes back in for a jacket. Her husband asks, βWhatβs it like Outside Right Now?β She replies,
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︎ Feb 11 2021
They say if you want to be a successful prospector, you shouldn't get a major in geology.
You should get a miner instead.
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︎ Dec 30 2020
My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "I'm going to have a bake sale to buy a car," he answered. "Where on earth did you get that idea? We're in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!" He said...
"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."
π︎ 17k
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︎ May 06 2020
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, βGet out. We donβt serve rope in here.β So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, βHey! Arenβt you the rope that I just threw out?β
The rope replied, βNo. Iβm a frayed knot.β
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︎ May 27 2020
What's the president's backup plan in case the USA gets invaded?
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︎ Jan 09 2021
How did the Roman Empire get split in two?
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︎ Jan 15 2021
What do you get when there is an oil spill in the middle of the ocean?
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︎ Jan 25 2021
My wife tried to get me interested in this documentary about Alaska and its people.
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︎ Dec 25 2020
Running in front of a car will get you tired, but...
Running behind a car will get you exhausted
π︎ 10
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︎ Mar 09 2021
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?
Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.
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︎ Jan 30 2021
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth
Then it becomes a soap opera
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︎ Jan 20 2021
What is it called when your singing in the shower and shampoo gets in your mouth?
π︎ 33
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︎ Jan 17 2021
2 drunk guys getting into a fight. One gets up and draws a line on the ground. He says "you cross this line and I'll punch you in the face".
That was the punchline...
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︎ Feb 05 2021
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Aug 03 2020
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