I keep forgetting that Tom Petty passed away and it makes me sad

He don’t come around here no more

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theichel24
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Some people think it's inappropriate to make a dad joke if you're not a dad.

It's a faux pa.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gasballbutsmol
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.

If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Do you feel that r/puns should have a feature where someone posts an image and everyone tries to makes puns about it(the image) in the comment section?
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stormbreaker636
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked the barber to replace most of what the last barber did, make it three times longer, and give it three parts.

He said β€œoh, you want the Snyder Cut”.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/banditk77
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend works in IT and I asked him, β€œHow do you make a motherboard?”

He said, β€œI usually tell her about my job.”

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
i have no idea how so many people didn’t make it out the labyrinth
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadX
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
You do realize that it's biblically correct for a man to make the coffee. Haven't you ever read the book,

Hebrews

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mastiff_Speed
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife hates it when I make jokes about her weight...

She needs to lighten up.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?

Snap cackle n' pop

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashjmc89
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
How many fingers does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten Tickles

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RootbeerDreams
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I posted this on r/memes a while ago and it didn't blow up or somthing. I am just so proud of this it makes me laugh every time
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/or2072
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
It seems my ability to make puns…

…has just groan over time.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked you to pretreat those pants, you better not try to make the puppy do it..

or else I'ma start singing "WHO LENT THE DOG ZOUT"

(Alright I think these are out of my system... no promises)

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
When French people make bread, they throw the dough at the window to see if it's ready to bake

I guess that's why they call it window pain.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumbwaeguk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctor: Here is your newborn baby but we are sorry that your wife didn’t make it

Me: Please bring me the one my wife made

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sorry4ThisBut
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do lawsuits against sand and silt never make it to court?

Sediment always settles

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?"

"Ten tickles."

I'm so proud to bring you this super high quality dad joke.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PersonWalker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I have to make dad jokes or I could lose my dad license. It's a thing called D-Law. If you're caught being a dad without a license? Well...

That's against D-Law.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/huxtiblejones
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
*This is a literal Dad Joke my father used to tell when I was a kid about 30 years ago. He's almost 80 now and it still makes him laugh.* - So, there was this man named James Fart. Everybody made fun of him since he was very young. "James Fart! James Fart" the bullies used to make him cry...

He came of age among this suffering and at 21 was finally able to legally change his name. He arrived at the government office where he presented himself:

-I'm James Fart and I want to legally change my name!

Of course they laughed at him (everybody did) but eventually they all settled and came around to the situation.

-Ok, so... your current name is.. Β·chucklesΒ· James Fart... I'm sorry, I just...

-I know, everybody has been laughing at my name since as long as I can remember.

After a long and tedious process, everything is ready.

-Very well, sorry for the delays but you know how hard this protocols are. The good news: you are no longer "James Fart", what name do you want instead?

-Charles Fart.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gone11gone11
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?

For a bat, every room is the batroom.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/teduh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
PSA: It is inappropriate to make dad jokes if you’re not a dad.

It’s a faux pas

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/racas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a horse that's really asthmatic and I'm scared it may not make it. The vet prescribed some

bronco-die-laters

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Letthembeefcake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
It takes guts to make a sausage.
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a penguin make its house?

Igloos it together

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Penis_popper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What sound does a 747 make when it crash lands ?

Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What sound does a peanut make when it sneezes?

Cashew!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/P3N15L0V3R5
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I started a band but we could never make it to a Gig.

What was the band name? 1023MB.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AstrosAtoZ
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to try my new gun at the range, but couldn’t make it work.

Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.

πŸ‘︎ 350
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when an older married gay couple make it a rule to go out at least once every 2 weeks?

A man-date mandate

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SusheeMonster
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a mountain makes a joke

Peak comedy

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swezshaun135
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend to said to me "there's no situation where a contraction makes sense but its split from doesnt"

I said "aren't there?"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Short_Artist_Girl
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
He is a behind, but I think he can make it
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChubyCat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is it so difficult to make new friends?

Asking for a friend

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?

KA-BROOM!!!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justcallmebean
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you make yogurt drinks smaller?

Lassi compression

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MagicalPizza21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
How do we know that a tree makes a sound if it falls in the forest?

Because it will dialogue.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zachpledger
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently found out my wiener doesn’t work anymore. I decided to have a funeral since it’s pretty much dead now. My sweet wife asked if anything would make me feel better.

I replied, Perhaps mourning would...

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/legendary-jake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What shoe can’t make up its mind?

Flip flops.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AbortedMunk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Beck always said he was a loser. How would you make him into a know-it-all?

Put him in a treehouse. That way, he would be Tree-Beck instead.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm sticking with/to my guns. It makes sense either way
πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Masterkibyknight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Every fall, after all the foliage falls from my trees, the trees suddenly sprout new foliage. It makes me laugh.

I guess I like the comic releaf.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Which industry makes the most significant portion of its profits through a cash cow?

Big Farmer

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oceanchimp
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh?

Ten Tickles

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

ten-tickles

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shaystibelman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
It's inappropriate to make a dad joke if you're not a dad

.... it's a Faux Pa.

πŸ‘︎ 346
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/socdist
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten-tickles.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGoodExample
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report

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