I keep forgetting that Tom Petty passed away and it makes me sad
He don’t come around here no more
Some people think it's inappropriate to make a dad joke if you're not a dad.
I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.
Do you feel that r/puns should have a feature where someone posts an image and everyone tries to makes puns about it(the image) in the comment section?
I asked the barber to replace most of what the last barber did, make it three times longer, and give it three parts.
He said “oh, you want the Snyder Cut”.
My friend works in IT and I asked him, “How do you make a motherboard?”
He said, “I usually tell her about my job.”
i have no idea how so many people didn’t make it out the labyrinth
You do realize that it's biblically correct for a man to make the coffee. Haven't you ever read the book,
My wife hates it when I make jokes about her weight...
What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?
How many fingers does it take to make an octopus laugh?
I posted this on r/memes a while ago and it didn't blow up or somthing. I am just so proud of this it makes me laugh every time
It seems my ability to make puns…
…has just groan over time.
I asked you to pretreat those pants, you better not try to make the puppy do it..
or else I'ma start singing "WHO LENT THE DOG ZOUT"
(Alright I think these are out of my system... no promises)
When French people make bread, they throw the dough at the window to see if it's ready to bake
I guess that's why they call it window pain.
Doctor: Here is your newborn baby but we are sorry that your wife didn’t make it
Me: Please bring me the one my wife made
Why do lawsuits against sand and silt never make it to court?
"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?"
"Ten tickles."
I'm so proud to bring you this super high quality dad joke.
I have to make dad jokes or I could lose my dad license. It's a thing called D-Law. If you're caught being a dad without a license? Well...
*This is a literal Dad Joke my father used to tell when I was a kid about 30 years ago. He's almost 80 now and it still makes him laugh.* - So, there was this man named James Fart. Everybody made fun of him since he was very young. "James Fart! James Fart" the bullies used to make him cry...
He came of age among this suffering and at 21 was finally able to legally change his name. He arrived at the government office where he presented himself:
-I'm James Fart and I want to legally change my name!
Of course they laughed at him (everybody did) but eventually they all settled and came around to the situation.
-Ok, so... your current name is.. ·chuckles· James Fart... I'm sorry, I just...
-I know, everybody has been laughing at my name since as long as I can remember.
After a long and tedious process, everything is ready.
-Very well, sorry for the delays but you know how hard this protocols are. The good news: you are no longer "James Fart", what name do you want instead?
-Charles Fart.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
PSA: It is inappropriate to make dad jokes if you’re not a dad.
I have a horse that's really asthmatic and I'm scared it may not make it. The vet prescribed some
It takes guts to make a sausage.
How does a penguin make its house?
What sound does a 747 make when it crash lands ?
What sound does a peanut make when it sneezes?
I started a band but we could never make it to a Gig.
What was the band name? 1023MB.
I went to try my new gun at the range, but couldn’t make it work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
What do you call it when an older married gay couple make it a rule to go out at least once every 2 weeks?
What do you call it when a mountain makes a joke
My friend to said to me "there's no situation where a contraction makes sense but its split from doesnt"
He is a behind, but I think he can make it
Why is it so difficult to make new friends?
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
What do you call it when you make yogurt drinks smaller?
How do we know that a tree makes a sound if it falls in the forest?
Because it will dialogue.
I recently found out my wiener doesn’t work anymore. I decided to have a funeral since it’s pretty much dead now. My sweet wife asked if anything would make me feel better.
I replied, Perhaps mourning would...
What shoe can’t make up its mind?
Beck always said he was a loser. How would you make him into a know-it-all?
Put him in a treehouse. That way, he would be Tree-Beck instead.
I'm sticking with/to my guns. It makes sense either way
Every fall, after all the foliage falls from my trees, the trees suddenly sprout new foliage. It makes me laugh.
I guess I like the comic releaf.
Which industry makes the most significant portion of its profits through a cash cow?
How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus laugh?
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
It's inappropriate to make a dad joke if you're not a dad
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
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