It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
[META] Could we get some moderation in this sub?
In my eyes, this sub has a serious problem with non-dadjoke posts. Sub-reddit rule #1 is "Jokes must be dad jokes.". What good are the rules if they aren't enforced? I do realize that what constitutes a dadjoke might not be clarely defined, but we get a lot of posts that are marked nsfw. That's a "This is not a dadjoke"-flag. Why not start with removing nsfw posts?
PS: Why do we have rule #6? It is not possible for a dadjoke to be nsfw, so it should never be relevant.
I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get nowhere in life without taking a Risk, officer.
That’s why I robbed the board game store.
Get it? Because it's in Erie, PA
If two vegans get in a fight...
... is it still considered a beef?
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth.
Then it becomes a soap opera.
I stood in the park wondering why a frisbee gets larger when it gets closer
Petco has a new Covid vaccine for animals & humans. In tests, some people have reported excessive hair growth on their hands. I'm going to get it anyway...
but it does give me paws.
I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that you’d get the well-fortified tower area back.
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
What do you get if you put a chicken strip in a small fridge?
April Fools Jokes don’t get any big laughs in Hawaii.
They only get a low ‘Ha’.
Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. What do you get when you remove it?
Don't you hate it when a cranberries song gets stuck in your head
In your head in your heeeaaad
Feel blessed to live in Hawai'i but apparently, I'm just not a funny guy. Every time I tell a joke, all I get is...
A curious child asked her mom, "why are you starting to get some grey hairs in with all your dark hair?"
Seizing this as a moral teaching moment she tells her daughter this little white lie, "Well young lady, when a daughter does something naughty, one of her mother's hairs turns grey."
After several moments of deep thought her daughter says to her mother, "So, mommy is that why all of grandma's hair is grey????"
I work as a tattoo artist in a wellness center making very specific designs and everyone get really surprised when I tell them that I'm also a doctor...
Nobody expects the Spa Niche Ink Physician.
What grade do pirates get in school
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?
Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham
An ape joined a monastery but couldn't get in.
He was missing his monk-keys.
How'd you get in here?
Oh I'm a locksmith, and I'm a locksmith
How do trees get in the internet?
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".
I waited all afternoon to get my Covid vaccine in our small remote village, by the time it was my turn, they were administering them by candlelight...
I’m really not sure how effective they are, seems as if they are a shot in the dark.
Saw two members of a string section of an orchestra get in a fight...
They should know violins is never the answer..
A priest in the woods has been attacked by a pack of wolves. In a moment of desperation, the priest started to ask God how to get out of this situation.
The wolves may be predators but he pray
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
The best way to get in touch with your long lost relatives....
....is to win the lottery.
Did you hear what happened when a man lied about his credentials to get in the band?
It was quite a con on drum ...
So last night my boyfriend left the bedroom door open to get more heat in the room because there are more heating vents in the hallway than in the bedroom. I said, "You might say it's eVENTful." He didn't laugh. So then I said, "You'll laugh eVENTually."
I think everyone should get married at some point in life
Noone deserves to be happy forever
Not to get all political in this sub, but...
Did you guys know that the guy who was recently pepper sprayed by Portland's mayor is a big dairy heir?
Can't seem to get a job in the Covid Era...
I think I have hired immunitity.
I was having problems with the printer at work last week and I had to ring the engineer. I told him that I kept putting paper in to the printer but the display kept saying it just can't get enough...
The engineer said "ah yes.... it's stuck in Depeche Mode"....
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, “Dad get out of the way!”
I said, “You’re the ones blocking!”
What did the tree say to his buddy, who was about to get in a fight?
I ran out of toilet paper last week and can't afford to buy more till I get paid next week, so I started using the newspapers. Now the realisation has kicked in......
......... The Times are really Rough!!!
How much does it cost to get your ears pierced in Tampa Bay?
A Buccaneer
Good win for them tonight.
I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
Running in front of a car will get you tired, but...
Running behind a car will get you exhausted
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?
Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth
Then it becomes a soap opera
What is it called when your singing in the shower and shampoo gets in your mouth?
2 drunk guys getting into a fight. One gets up and draws a line on the ground. He says "you cross this line and I'll punch you in the face".
That was the punchline...
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
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