Fund Raise Puns

Gator-aid.

Three friars were behind in their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back to the friars and begged them to close. They ignored him. He asked his mother to go and ask the friars to go out of business. They ignored her too. So the rival florist hired Hugh McTaggert, the roughest, most vicious thug in the town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close the shop. Terrified, they did so…

Thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

He said, "for all in tents and porpoises, we come together to raise funds."

Something like that might be a good joke... someday...

Context:

• I currently live and study in the Philippines

• One Philippine Peso (₱) is approximately 1/40 a dollar. Go check the conversion ratio if you doubt.

• A single stick of this choco wafer stick right here (called Stick-O) usually costs at about ₱1

• I study in a college where student organizations are prevalent and their means of collecting funds is by Fund Raising Activity, i.e., selling consumables to students (usually food at exorbitant retail prices)

Every single time when I see an organization member doing his/her FRA selling Stick-O's, I ask...

Me: How much is that?

FRA: Three for five.

Me: ₱3 for 5 pieces?

They chuckle in shame. They then correct me:

FRA: No, 3 pieces for ₱5 pesos

The friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.

Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought this was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.

He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.

So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.

Terrified, they did so, thereby proving once and for all that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

...so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.