Couldn't believe I got funding for my new bedding and rope project.
It's important never to cut funding for gritters.
Once you lose one it's a slippery slope.
Years ago at my first IT startup we thought we'd caught a big break when we were asked to set up the campus network at a major college. However, the project eventually fell through when they failed to secure the necessary funding.
I still think about it sometimes - the WAN that got away.
I secured funding to build the new city airport
Things are starting to take off around here
I finally got funding for my dictionary based stage production, "Pun: A Play On Words"
How did bush fund his campaign?
Gatorade should run some kind of charity promotion where they raise funds to help preserve endangered species of alligator.
I once lived in a tax payer funded gated community.
I was released for good behavior.
All this drama with hedge funds has me wondering?
Are they the same thing as my landscaping budget?
How did they fund four weddings and a funeral?
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
BREAKING :: Lebanese President Michel Aoun states there will be no additional disaster relief funds for those affected by blast.
A real Lebaneezer Scrooge.
I’m saving money for bushes to plant around the yard when my career is over...
It’s my retirement hedge fund.
Why is the financial meeting never boring?
I’d love to start a cheese business
If the government included a clutch of baby chickens along with the stimulus funds...
Does this mean we got money for nothing and our chicks for free?
Lately I’ve been storing all my extra change in some bushes outside.
I’m starting my own hedge fund.
Why can't ants fund illegal activities ?
They have Anti Money Laundering
The fisherman used all funds from fish sales to buy collections of audio recordings issued as a single item on CD...
He sold his sole for rock'n'roll.
My son asked me “ Dad did you get a haircut?”
[OC (I think)] What do you call the child of a civil engineer?
What was the mental health hospital's primary charity program?
I gave some dude the money I'd saved to to buy bushes to line my property. I'd introduce you, but
my hedge fund manager hates reddit.
My kids wanted me to play monster
So I told them I gambled away their college fund and slept with their aunt
The cows on my dairy farm have all decided to form a new financial vehicle made up of a pool of money collected from many cows to invest in securities...
It shall commence on 4/20
What do you get when you cross a cat with an octopus?
A visit from the ethics department and immediate withdrawal of your funding.
I went to a fund raiser for dolphins recently. Since it was Florida, canopies protected the participants from the sun. The mayor got up to speak.
He said, "for all in tents and porpoises, we come together to raise funds."
Something like that might be a good joke... someday...
I lost my kids' college fund playing dice in Vegas.
I admit it was a crappy thing to do.
Never donate to a blind children's fund
It's not like they will see any of it anyway.
I'm raising money for a new row of shrubs by selling stock...
Would you like a few shares of my hedge fund?
My kid was trying to start a landscaping business
He just needed some seed funding
My son is saving his money for an Icee.
TIL Ozzy Osborne, famous musician, funded the first ever soda in space.
He called it "Barq's at the Moon"
I’ve been setting aside money to buy some boxwood shrubs.
Teucrium Corn Fund
The other day, I was researching the stock market because I thought it wise to start investing at an early age. After hours of research and going through the myriad shares I could buy, I passed by one that caught my eye...the Teucrium Corn Fund. I could invest in corn, that'll surely stay steady, everyone needs corn! However, after awhile of second guessing myself, as I often do, I decided that I hold off on the stock market until I did more research and study. Yes, I'll invest in corn stocks when I have an ear for it.
Getting really annoyed now, this is the 6th ATM I've been to thats had "insufficient funds"!!
Right after being born, my newborn daughter wouldn't "latch" for her first feeding. So after 27-plus hours of labor and four hours of pushing, I looked at my poor, exhausted wife and said, "Looks like she's... resisting abreast."
My first official dad joke.
Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger! I’ll be putting this in my little one’s Reddit Scholarship Fund!
What do you call a bunch of crows gathering money?
If you don't want to buy something because it will fund a condescending king...
... then you don't want to patronise a patronising patron.
Signed up for my company's 401k
but I'm nervous cuz I've never ran that far before
How does the Grammar Nazi party fund it's government?
I created a bank account dedicated entirely to buying and maintaining bushes
Did you read about that girl from Alaska who turned down a scholarship from a Native American scholarship fund?