Why did the dad hoard the seafood dinner?

Because heโ€™s shellfish

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bre_likethecheese
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a hoard of a million Latin-speaking gigantic sharks?

MegaLodon.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/vs424reddit
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Chuck Norris doesn't hoard toilet paper.

He's used the same napkin since 1974. He just scares the shit out of it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 38
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PotBuzz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call an animal that hoards all the dirt?

A groundhog

๐Ÿ‘︎ 22
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/whatlineisitanyway
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why do Vampires hoard stocks?

They're terrified of stakeholders!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Trawkker
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 14 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend want me to join him in hoarding

He says they have everything

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheTreelo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why aren't Australians hoarding toilet paper?

Bidet, mate!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/katskratched
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My neighbour didn't like it when I told him off about hoarding toilet paper

To be honest, I think he was being very anal about it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mahamsoomro
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I buy yogurt to the point where some people call it hoarding

But I know itโ€™s just cultured behaviour

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rant-rant-rant
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
People in Germany were hoarding sausage and cheese due to the pandemic,

It was the wurst kรคse scenario.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 79
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Partybomber3214
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Whatโ€™s the human psychology behind all this toilet paper hoarding?

Thatโ€™s just how we roll

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/awburrou
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
There are reports that, because of the covid outbreak, Rick Astley is hoarding copies of a 2009 Pixar film, and all albums by a southern metal band from New Orleans. He is not allowing anyone to borrow them. It's also said that Mr. Astley is refusing to go out and purchase cake for others.

To summarize:

He's never gonna give you Up

Never gonna lend you Down

Never gonna run around, and dessert you.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/this_time_i_mean_it
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
For those hoarding mouthwash: Remember that you should never flush Listerineยฎ down the toilet.

It's an anti-septic.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PotBuzz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Everyone right now in India is hoarding the flat bread.

It's a naan issue.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bay2boy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My girlfriend asked me why I was hoarding so much chapstick

Obviously, itโ€™s for the Apoca-lips.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/acloudbuster
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Iโ€™m not sure why my friend quit his perfume making business and started hoarding old paintings.

Heโ€™s got more Monet than scents.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 27 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The people who bought all the toilet paper are special!

They have the hoard immunity.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Drugs
  • What do you call drugs in a saucepan? Pot.

  • What do you call drugs stored inside the back of your pants? Crack.

  • What do you call drugs stored in a car battery? Acid

  • What do you call drugs found between 2 slabs of concrete? Crack

  • What do you call drugs in a junked up or hoarded room? Meth

  • What is it called when you have all the drugs you could want? Ecstacy

  • What do you call someone using drugs in the top part of a house? A drug attic

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Spotted_Lady
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
[Request] pubs involving medieval terms

Hey all. I work at a place that sells medieval and Renaissance themed clothing, weapons, and armour. We are beginning to sell snacks in the breakroom for employees (sans vending machine) and I want to call the "shop" something silly/ridiculous. Ye Olde Snack Shack just won't cut it, I want a good pun in there. Don't hesitate to use fantasy inspired ideas either. I wanted to go with The Dragon's Hoard, but would rather have something funny as well!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/magic_vs_science
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The Costco employee said "I'm sorry Sir, we're rationing.

[Looking over cart full of TP]

Me: "Nice to meet you Rationing, I'm Hoarding"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/robinson217
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Instead of using a ouija board to talk to ghosts, I use a pile of window cleaners.

It's my squeegee hoard.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/matvavna
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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