Hoarding Puns

A list of puns related to "Hoarding"

My friend want me to join him in hoarding

He says they have everything

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👤︎ u/TheTreelo
📅︎ Nov 24 2020
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Why aren't Australians hoarding toilet paper?

Bidet, mate!

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👤︎ u/katskratched
📅︎ Dec 09 2020
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My neighbour didn't like it when I told him off about hoarding toilet paper

To be honest, I think he was being very anal about it.

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👤︎ u/Mahamsoomro
📅︎ Nov 23 2020
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I buy yogurt to the point where some people call it hoarding

But I know it’s just cultured behaviour

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👤︎ u/rant-rant-rant
📅︎ Aug 11 2020
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People in Germany were hoarding sausage and cheese due to the pandemic,

It was the wurst käse scenario.

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👤︎ u/Partybomber3214
📅︎ Apr 03 2020
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What’s the human psychology behind all this toilet paper hoarding?

That’s just how we roll

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👤︎ u/awburrou
📅︎ Mar 12 2020
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There are reports that, because of the covid outbreak, Rick Astley is hoarding copies of a 2009 Pixar film, and all albums by a southern metal band from New Orleans. He is not allowing anyone to borrow them. It's also said that Mr. Astley is refusing to go out and purchase cake for others.

To summarize:

He's never gonna give you Up

Never gonna lend you Down

Never gonna run around, and dessert you.

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👤︎ u/this_time_i_mean_it
📅︎ Mar 23 2020
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For those hoarding mouthwash: Remember that you should never flush Listerine® down the toilet.

It's an anti-septic.

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👤︎ u/PotBuzz
📅︎ Mar 19 2020
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Everyone right now in India is hoarding the flat bread.

It's a naan issue.

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👤︎ u/bay2boy
📅︎ Mar 18 2020
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My girlfriend asked me why I was hoarding so much chapstick

Obviously, it’s for the Apoca-lips.

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👤︎ u/acloudbuster
📅︎ Jan 11 2020
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I’m not sure why my friend quit his perfume making business and started hoarding old paintings.

He’s got more Monet than scents.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ May 27 2019
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Why did the dad hoard the seafood dinner?

Because he’s shellfish

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👤︎ u/bre_likethecheese
📅︎ Feb 13 2021
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What do you call a hoard of a million Latin-speaking gigantic sharks?

MegaLodon.

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👤︎ u/vs424reddit
📅︎ Aug 24 2020
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Chuck Norris doesn't hoard toilet paper.

He's used the same napkin since 1974. He just scares the shit out of it.

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👤︎ u/PotBuzz
📅︎ Mar 14 2020
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What do you call an animal that hoards all the dirt?

A groundhog

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👤︎ u/whatlineisitanyway
📅︎ Jun 02 2019
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Why do Vampires hoard stocks?

They're terrified of stakeholders!

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👤︎ u/Trawkker
📅︎ Feb 14 2018
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The people who bought all the toilet paper are special!

They have the hoard immunity.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Apr 26 2020
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The Costco employee said "I'm sorry Sir, we're rationing.

[Looking over cart full of TP]

Me: "Nice to meet you Rationing, I'm Hoarding"

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👤︎ u/robinson217
📅︎ Mar 13 2020
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Drugs

  • What do you call drugs in a saucepan? Pot.

  • What do you call drugs stored inside the back of your pants? Crack.

  • What do you call drugs stored in a car battery? Acid

  • What do you call drugs found between 2 slabs of concrete? Crack

  • What do you call drugs in a junked up or hoarded room? Meth

  • What is it called when you have all the drugs you could want? Ecstacy

  • What do you call someone using drugs in the top part of a house? A drug attic

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👤︎ u/Spotted_Lady
📅︎ Jul 07 2019
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[Request] pubs involving medieval terms

Hey all. I work at a place that sells medieval and Renaissance themed clothing, weapons, and armour. We are beginning to sell snacks in the breakroom for employees (sans vending machine) and I want to call the "shop" something silly/ridiculous. Ye Olde Snack Shack just won't cut it, I want a good pun in there. Don't hesitate to use fantasy inspired ideas either. I wanted to go with The Dragon's Hoard, but would rather have something funny as well!

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👤︎ u/magic_vs_science
📅︎ Mar 20 2019
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Instead of using a ouija board to talk to ghosts, I use a pile of window cleaners.

It's my squeegee hoard.

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👤︎ u/matvavna
📅︎ Dec 16 2018
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