And I’m sure he felt the burn too!
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andresdoughmas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
When I was younger, I felt like a man, trapped inside a woman body.

Then, I was born.

πŸ‘︎ 222
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Sent this to my gf cuz I felt lonely.
πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LeKrispyKreme
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Her body tensed and quivered as she felt wave after wave surge through it...

I probably should have told her about the new electric fence..

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TylerDurdenSEA
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I felt uncomfortable with my wife giving me dirty looks in public

So I had to ask her to clean her glasses

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife asked how I felt about getting Thai food for dinner

I said I was 50/50 on it

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PKMKII
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Guys, today was my first day in the navy and I felt so lost!

Sorry, wrong sub.

πŸ‘︎ 505
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crossover131
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My realtor asked me how I felt about the defects in the finish trim in my new home.

I said I'll be coping.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chilldabpanda
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
John felt like the odd one out at the Mohawk convention, maybe because of the language barrier?!

He’s not a native speaker after all

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Working on a home construction project and felt like relaxing with drink. Of course it's unsafe to mix alcohol with power tools.

Which is why I mixed my drink with a spoon instead.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BetterThanOP
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Wanting to impress my son at the zoo today, I revealed to him, "Used to be best friends with a giraffe, but we had a falling out." Puzzled, he asked, "What happened?" I shook my head, "I don't know really, but I felt..."

"He was always looking down on me!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I told my dad that I always felt a deep sense of foreboding when we drive on the bridge over the canal

He said "That's because the canal IS for boating."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I had this one night stand and I felt really bad about it.

So, the next morning I raced out and bought another one for the other side of the bed.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I felt so bad when I dropped my toothpaste.

I was Crest-fallen.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bobskimo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw 10 ants frantically running around my kitchen. I felt bad so I built them a small house.

Now I’m their landlord and I collect rent from my tenants.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bovinejabronie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did rotton tomato always felt left out.

Because he couldn't ketchup

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nirmittrivedi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
In the corn maze, I felt like I was being stalked.

It was earie.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uhavethebiggay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Forgive my brain, but I felt the urge to share this baby of mine
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ClerSeaworth
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I finally managed to take the perfect nude and felt comfortable sending it to my wife

My secretary looked extra beautiful in that light and atmosphere!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I felt like a hero when I donated that kindey to save a kid's life

Figured the collection was getting a bit too big so why not

credit to the r/TwoSentenceHorror subreddit

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ImRoderick1303
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know you can only ran through a camp ground?

Because it's past tents.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mtrash
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I tried my hand at macrame and felt bad about it.

When I looked at my finished work, I realized that I did something that was very knotty.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Just found this store by chance called Ollie’s. Aside from all the great liquidation sales, the walls are a pun gold mine! I felt it be a crime not to post pictures of it on here. reddit.com/gallery/iij3ts
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KORZILLA-is-me
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
After days, it felt nice to finally come clean

I was starting to smell

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AudenWolfe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a horizontal axis today and felt uncomfortable.

We used to date.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anxieturt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit my job as a treadmill tester.

I just felt like I wasn’t going anywhere.

πŸ‘︎ 176
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Martha had always listened to her parents when they said β€˜stay away from fire’, but today, her interests got the best of her and she intentionally lit herself on fire just to see what it felt like.

Martha was burning with curiosity

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/husbus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My son and I were talking at lunch today...

This happened today and my son hated it, but it got a great laugh from my wife.

We were talking at lunch today and I asked my son how he felt being taller than his dad now. He said "I don't know". Just like a teenager would.

I told him in full dad joke mode that I was afraid he would be looking down on me now. He then said if you feel that way I will get you a step ladder. I said "that would work but then I would be your step dad!"

πŸ‘︎ 108
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/upcarrotm
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
🚨︎ report
At that moment, Dr. Frankenstein knew what it felt like to be God.
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know who is an expert on the Dunning-Kruger effect?

Me.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/earth_humanoid
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
One time in my anatomy class, we dissected a sheep brain and I have to admit, I felt a bit sheepish about it.

Sorry, that was just a ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-d joke.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Saw it on r/memes, felt like it belongs here
πŸ‘︎ 401
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beebeepsheep
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I donated my watch, phone and 100 euros to a poor guy

You don't know the happiness I felt as he put his knife back in his pocket

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yankee-485
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Is this shirt felt?

touch shirt

It is now

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moonspace21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do dogs get when their joints get sore?

Arf-ritis

πŸ‘︎ 189
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lamecomment
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
I felt really sad when I saw a girl on TV crying and saying, β€œI Miss America!”

Then someone corrected her grammar and gave her a sash and a tiara.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Can you just imagine how pterosaurs felt seeing that meteor entering the earths atmosphere?

Probably pterofied.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterNova924
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve always felt bad for the silverfish

Sure, I know they’re disgusting little bugs. But I started taking pity on the little guys after they only came in second in this poll of people’s favorite animals.

The winner, of course, was the goldfish.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jweiss10
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of dogs like sun tanning?

Hotdogs

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oasishippie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I once dated an anesthetist...

I felt nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/favouritemanju
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
I felt clever so I'm posting here.
πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hudjoj
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Please accept my Heart Felt thanks.
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrShaunce
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A man approached me, touched my shirt and asked β€œis this felt?” To which I responded β€œno”.

He replied β€œit is now”.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yoopyeet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I had this one night stand and I felt so bad about it...

So the next morning, I rushed out and bought another one for the other side of the bed.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was younger I felt like a man trapped in a woman’s body.

But then I was born.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Theunkillable
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was younger, I felt like a man trapped in a woman's body ...

Then I was born

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BadPuppyZA
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I've just quit my job as a treadmill tester...

I just felt like I wasn't getting anywhere.

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.