I met a stranger on the tube the other day. He didn't say 'hello', as a normal person might. Instead, he said, "Remember Matt Damon".
That seems a little bit weird... but it gets weirder. The next day, I passed the same fellow on the street, while I was out walking my dog. He called out to me once again, "Remember Matt Damon".
But I finally cracked it and called the cops after the SAME guy tapped on my bedroom window, at 11.30 pm last night. He called to me, loud enough for me to clearly hear him through the glass, "Remember Matt Damon."
My conversation with the police then went like this:
Me: Officer, I think I have a stalker.
Policeman: can you tell me anything about this person?
Me: Well... uhhh... he reminds me of Matt Damon...
Daredevil dared evil!
Why are lamb chops a thing? Why do we have a food named after a baby animal?
Would you ever eat something called puppy steak? Or kitten burger? Or chick fillet?
oh wait.........
Credit goes to Matt from Studio C
He sometimes wishes he’d never been Bourne.
Jake says, “No, just a regular suit.”
I wasn’t Bourne yesterday, you know.
You can say he was a matte hatter.
Maybe he’s Bourne with it. Maybe he’s Wolverine.
...hangs on a wall?
Art
...goes for a swim?
Bob
...sits on a porch?
Matt
...lies in a ditch?
Phil
Art: At least they don't leave you hanging.
Goodwill Hunting.
Bob
Edited because I used the darker version by mistake
He wishes he’d never been Bourne.
People are always walking all over Matt's.
Matt
"I usually go by either." "Okay Either, nice to meet you!"
Mattadores bullfighting.
because he will always be stuck in second gear!
He was Goodwill hunting.
I call it the MATT DAEMON!!!
A husband is hanging out in the kitchen doorway when his wife needs to check on dinner. She says would you move ? He says you need to grab my knob and pull . She sighed and says DON’T BE A DOOR MATT !
He wasn't really aMUSEd, though
Wait till to hear what Matt Gaetz got!
My brother said a liar and she goes no, Matt! Very proud of her.
Matt.
He wishes he was never Bourne.
Matt
Matt.
