"Not on my watch" said the store clerk.
They never get old.
Because Lisa Kudrow.
It's called Catt Bellamy and its the lead singer of the band Meows.
Matt.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs .....at your front door? Matt
...in your swimming pool? Bob
....in your mailbox? Bill
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs who is popular with the boys? Hedy
What do you call a woman with no arms and 1 leg? Eileen
What do you call a Chinese woman with no arms and 1 leg? Irene
Because then you'd have a matte tress.
Bob.
I met a stranger on the tube the other day. He didn't say 'hello', as a normal person might. Instead, he said, "Remember Matt Damon".
That seems a little bit weird... but it gets weirder. The next day, I passed the same fellow on the street, while I was out walking my dog. He called out to me once again, "Remember Matt Damon".
But I finally cracked it and called the cops after the SAME guy tapped on my bedroom window, at 11.30 pm last night. He called to me, loud enough for me to clearly hear him through the glass, "Remember Matt Damon."
My conversation with the police then went like this:
Me: Officer, I think I have a stalker.
Policeman: can you tell me anything about this person?
Me: Well... uhhh... he reminds me of Matt Damon...
Daredevil dared evil!
Talking amongst the office about current events and the Matt Gaetz scandal came up.
Coworker "An older guy in power taking advantage of young women? That's a tale as old as time..."
Me "From what I've seen the tail wasn't even 18..."
... that's been plagued with unexpected phenomenon and ghost sightings recently? Well, Matt Damon has decided he wants to make a movie out of the story.
It's going to be called Goodwill Haunting
Used to be called Matt.
He sometimes wishes he’d never been Bourne.
Jake says, “No, just a regular suit.”
I wasn’t Bourne yesterday, you know.
Maybe he’s Bourne with it. Maybe he’s Wolverine.
Goodwill Hunting.
Art: At least they don't leave you hanging.
Why are lamb chops a thing? Why do we have a food named after a baby animal?
Would you ever eat something called puppy steak? Or kitten burger? Or chick fillet?
oh wait.........
Credit goes to Matt from Studio C
Bob
Edited because I used the darker version by mistake
"I usually go by either." "Okay Either, nice to meet you!"
He wishes he’d never been Bourne.
People are always walking all over Matt's.
You can say he was a matte hatter.
...hangs on a wall?
Art
...goes for a swim?
Bob
...sits on a porch?
Matt
...lies in a ditch?
Phil
Mattadores bullfighting.
because he will always be stuck in second gear!
He was Goodwill hunting.
Matt
Matt
He wishes he was never Bourne.
