Why should you use your mouth to paint woodwork?

Lips gloss

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/maccer20
📅︎ Apr 22 2020
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I got this new chapstick today...

It's the balm

👍︎ 576
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👤︎ u/tron4
📅︎ Mar 07 2017
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I bought a gallon of White Out.

Big Mistake..

👍︎ 29
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👤︎ u/nitwittery
📅︎ Jul 11 2017
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A duck walks in a pharmacy

A duck walks in a pharmacy and says to the cashier, "I'd like to buy some lip gloss." The cashier nodded and said "Okay. How would you like to pay? Cash or Credit Card?" The duck says "Put it on my bill."

👍︎ 16
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📅︎ Dec 23 2016
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Shared a dad joke with a stranger tonight

I was taking an order tonight and one of the children ordered the chicken fingers. I told him that they were actually chicken strips. Everyone at the table let the comment gloss over them except for the dad, who smirked and started nodding. We broke the silence by simultaneously declaring "because chickens don't have fingers."

👍︎ 9
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📅︎ Jul 08 2014
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A Duck Walks Into A Drugstore..

A duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for some lip gloss and he asks if that will be cash or credit. The duck says put it on my bill.

👍︎ 10
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📅︎ Nov 03 2014
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