I know a Polish sound technician.
π︎ 217
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
My great uncle died from drinking furniture polish
It was a slow death, but a beautiful finish.
π︎ 70
π
︎ Oct 01 2020
If you're 10% Polish...
Does that make you a tadpole?
π︎ 67
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
Why did the German mail man deliver an envelope to the Polish neighbour?
Because he was in Reichweite
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
When people ask about my heritage, I tell them there is an unfortunate side effect of my mother being Italian and my father being Polish ....
Iβll make you an offer I canβt understand.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
What happens when you eat yeast and shoe polish?
You rise and shine every morning.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
What happens if you eat yeast and show polish?
π︎ 54
π
︎ Feb 23 2020
My uncle was a ventriloquist dummy. He died drinking furniture polish.
It was a slow death but a beautiful finish.
Heard this one on Whose Line last night. Credit to Ryan Stiles.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jun 24 2020
A polish man walks into a police station.
Polish man: help me! Help me! My wife is trying to kill me!
Police man: calm down sir, do you have any evidence that your wife is trying to kill you?
Polish man: Yes! I opened our medicine cabinet and found Polish Remover!
π︎ 55
π
︎ Feb 20 2020
If you are 10% Polish...
does that make you a tad pole?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jan 27 2020
I have a Polish friend who's a sound technician.
And a Czech one two, Czech one two.
I know you all think this joke is a repost, but I thought adding this line might be Prague-ress.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 12 2020
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine
π︎ 27
π
︎ Nov 20 2019
During the Polish-Swedish war, Sweden conquered the city of Bydgoszcz and renamed it as Bromberg.
Bromberg later became part of the Kingdom of Prussia, changed hands a few more times (including a short period of Napoleonic rule), before it finally became Polish again after World War I. The Polish government reinstated the old name of the city, deciding to let Bydgoszcz be Bydgoszcz.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 26 2019
Polish Polish
π︎ 57
π
︎ Jun 28 2019
What do you call a short Polish person?
π︎ 24
π
︎ Mar 19 2019
Whenever a Polish person dances...
wouldn't it technically be Pole dancing?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 13 2019
What do the sun and nail polish remover have in common?
They can both make your acetone darker...
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 15 2019
Why do the Polish bury Germans 12 feet under ground?
Because really deep down they're good people.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 04 2019
How come when women use chemicals to remove polish no one bats an eye
But when hitler does it the whole world is against him?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 27 2019
Best Polish Removers
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 31 2018
What do you call a Polish fisherman?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 05 2019
What do you call a pale Polish man?
π︎ 30
π
︎ Apr 21 2019
If you wrote down the names of all the works by a 19th century Polish composer...
...you'd have a Chopin List.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 09 2019
I spilled polish remover on a globe
Now thereβs a hole in Europe.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Apr 09 2019
What do you use to make a Polish person leave?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 12 2019
I got this Polish beer, its not great, its not bad, its just
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 26 2018
Has anyone heard of the famous polish nutcracker?
Its really great to krakowpen nuts.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 05 2019
Nail Polish
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 26 2018
A Polish man goes to the optometrist
Optometrist: Now Iβll show you some letters and youβll read them
Polish man: okay
Optometrist shows the letters
C W O Z A K Y L P T U J
Polish man: thatβs my neighbors name!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 03 2018
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a drivers license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test
The optician showed him a card with letters
"C Z W I X N O S T A C Z"
Optician: "Can you read this?"
"Read it?" the Polish man replied, "I know the guy!"
π︎ 12
π
︎ Feb 03 2018
I tried to enjoy the other 33.3% of my life, but you can't polish a third.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 07 2018
What if Santa is really from northern Poland, and people just got confused when he said he was North Polish?
Tried this in /r/Showerthoughts but it didn't go over well...maybe too much of a pun?
π︎ 18
π
︎ Dec 23 2015
I asked my wife to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub.
She always wanted a night in, shining armour.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 02 2018
I figured out why all Polish bankers can jump so high
They're all Pole vaulters.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 22 2018
My uncle died due to drinking furniture polish...
...it was a slow death, but a beautiful finish
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 15 2020
I have a Polish friend who is a sound engineer
π︎ 28
π
︎ Feb 14 2020
I have a Polish friend who is a sound engineer.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 01 2020
I have a Polish friend who is roadie for a rock band. And I have a Czech one too. Czech one too.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 12 2019
I have a polish friend who is a sound engineer. and a Czech one too, Czech one too, Czech one too
π︎ 330
π
︎ Mar 07 2019
I have a Polish friend who has a job as a sound engineer...
I have a Czech one too...
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Mar 02 2017
I have a Polish friend who is roadie for a rock band. And I have a Czech one too. Czech one too.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 12 2019
I have a Polish friend whoβs a sound technician
Oh, and a Czech one too. Czech one too. Czech one too.
π︎ 130
π
︎ Sep 08 2018
I have a Polish friend who has a job as a sound engineer.
π︎ 79
π
︎ Jun 17 2018
Did you hear about the polish guy who thought is wife was trying to kill because he found βpolish removerβ in the house ...
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 14 2019
My dad has a Polish friend who is a roadie
He also has a Czech one too, one too.
π︎ 78
π
︎ May 28 2017
My Polish girlfriend thought I was trying to kill her...
She found a bottle of polish remover
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 09 2018
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