I know a Polish sound technician.

And a Czech one, too.

πŸ‘︎ 217
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirMalcolmK
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My great uncle died from drinking furniture polish

It was a slow death, but a beautiful finish.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/towntown1337
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
If you're 10% Polish...

Does that make you a tadpole?

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CMDR-Hooker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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Why did the German mail man deliver an envelope to the Polish neighbour?

Because he was in Reichweite

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aremathick
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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When people ask about my heritage, I tell them there is an unfortunate side effect of my mother being Italian and my father being Polish ....

I’ll make you an offer I can’t understand.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthLukas71
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My uncle died due to drinking furniture polish...

...it was a slow death, but a beautiful finish

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gingernuts13
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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What happens when you eat yeast and shoe polish?

You rise and shine every morning.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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What happens if you eat yeast and show polish?
πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/myvolunteerbag
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My uncle was a ventriloquist dummy. He died drinking furniture polish.

It was a slow death but a beautiful finish.

Heard this one on Whose Line last night. Credit to Ryan Stiles.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mosk915
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A polish man walks into a police station.

Polish man: help me! Help me! My wife is trying to kill me!

Police man: calm down sir, do you have any evidence that your wife is trying to kill you?

Polish man: Yes! I opened our medicine cabinet and found Polish Remover!

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a Polish friend who is a sound engineer

And a Czech one, too.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tonycocacola
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
If you are 10% Polish...

does that make you a tad pole?

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyrannosaur85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a Polish friend who's a sound technician.

And a Czech one two, Czech one two.

I know you all think this joke is a repost, but I thought adding this line might be Prague-ress.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaconShrimpEyes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a Polish friend who is roadie for a rock band. And I have a Czech one too. Czech one too.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ATX_Stig
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said

This is my thyme to shine

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nilaky
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
During the Polish-Swedish war, Sweden conquered the city of Bydgoszcz and renamed it as Bromberg.

Bromberg later became part of the Kingdom of Prussia, changed hands a few more times (including a short period of Napoleonic rule), before it finally became Polish again after World War I. The Polish government reinstated the old name of the city, deciding to let Bydgoszcz be Bydgoszcz.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jolindbe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Polish Polish
πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Owenn04
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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I have a Polish friend who has a job as a sound engineer...

I have a Czech one too...

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a short Polish person?

A Tadpole

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ju5t-0
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Whenever a Polish person dances...

wouldn't it technically be Pole dancing?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dasvott
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What do the sun and nail polish remover have in common?

They can both make your acetone darker...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MusicmanJosh03
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do the Polish bury Germans 12 feet under ground?

Because really deep down they're good people.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lespinoza
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a Polish friend who’s a sound technician

Oh, and a Czech one too. Czech one too. Czech one too.

πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/okbutt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
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How come when women use chemicals to remove polish no one bats an eye

But when hitler does it the whole world is against him?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WattoNUFC
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Best Polish Removers
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GNOEJOH
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Polish fisherman?

A fishing pole!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pale Polish man?

A lightpole

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fallout3boi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
🚨︎ report
If you wrote down the names of all the works by a 19th century Polish composer...

...you'd have a Chopin List.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bubonis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I spilled polish remover on a globe

Now there’s a hole in Europe.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/showerdrinking
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the polish guy who thought is wife was trying to kill because he found β€œpolish remover” in the house ...
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/juicymember
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you use to make a Polish person leave?

Shoe Polish...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adfh1234
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I got this Polish beer, its not great, its not bad, its just
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/8000angrybees
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad has a Polish friend who is a roadie

He also has a Czech one too, one too.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/plankyman
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2017
🚨︎ report
My Polish girlfriend thought I was trying to kill her...

She found a bottle of polish remover

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/username-2v
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Has anyone heard of the famous polish nutcracker?

Its really great to krakowpen nuts.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/manafali033
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Nail Polish
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryotaiku
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
🚨︎ report
A Polish man goes to the optometrist

Optometrist: Now I’ll show you some letters and you’ll read them

Polish man: okay

Optometrist shows the letters C W O Z A K Y L P T U J

Polish man: that’s my neighbors name!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/edoardoking
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2018
🚨︎ report
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a drivers license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with letters "C Z W I X N O S T A C Z" Optician: "Can you read this?" "Read it?" the Polish man replied, "I know the guy!"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vongolaguy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2018
🚨︎ report
I tried to enjoy the other 33.3% of my life, but you can't polish a third.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2018
🚨︎ report
What if Santa is really from northern Poland, and people just got confused when he said he was North Polish?

Tried this in /r/Showerthoughts but it didn't go over well...maybe too much of a pun?

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2015
🚨︎ report
I asked my wife to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub.

She always wanted a night in, shining armour.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimmyNuggets
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I figured out why all Polish bankers can jump so high

They're all Pole vaulters.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkaic
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
🚨︎ report
I have a Polish friend who is a sound engineer.

I have a Czech one, too

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a polish friend who is a sound engineer. and a Czech one too, Czech one too, Czech one too
πŸ‘︎ 330
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBreadSkeleton
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a Polish friend who is roadie for a rock band. And I have a Czech one too. Czech one too.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ATX_Stig
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a Polish friend who has a job as a sound engineer.

I have a Czech one too.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thewargingned
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
🚨︎ report

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