I invented a contraption that I could use to refine feces from long distances...

I smelt that sh!t a mile away!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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A man asks a blacksmith to refine some ore....

The blacksmith says "put the ore on the bench, then beat it. I'll do it once I've finished up at the grindstone". The man says to the blacksmiths assistant "that was rude" and the assistant replies "what can I say, he has an axe to grind".

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2017
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I could use help refining this one

Many of you probably know what it’s like to have part of a joke or a punchline that you can’t seem to put together into one full working joke. Here’s what I’ve got:

The film’s last frame, already used, says to the camera, β€œCome on, take another photo, I don’t mind.”

To which the camera replies, β€œAre you sure? I wouldn’t want to superimpose.”

It’s there but it’s not quite. Any help?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndrewZabar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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People were offended when I told them a joke about oil.

They did not like my crude humor. I'll have to refine it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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Apparently researchers have found a way to make giant inhabitable clocks by refining the material in arthropod exoskeletons.

What an ex-chitin time we live in

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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Refined starches and dairy products...

are my bread and butter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arebee936
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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Did you hear about the bag of sugar that was caught illegally crossing the road for the second time that day?

It was refined.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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Why is it so hard to impress oil connoisseurs?

They have refined tastes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Villagecreep
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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Son: "Dad. what are you favorite mountains?"

Dad: boops son on nose - The Poconos, of course!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZappBrannigansLaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2018
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If you're wondering why bakers don't throw out items a lot...

It's because they probably knead it again tomorrow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToySoldier92
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2017
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[Metal] I steel think tha tin most of these posts, the comments lead straight into puns. I'm not a big fan, it seems like a copper out.

But thi silvery from one post to the next.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bilbowtech
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2015
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After the stock market crash, the former millionaire was depressed

He was used to living the good life, and all the perks that go with it. His refined palette missed the fine dining, at five-star restaurants run by top chefs. Now reduced to eating macaroni and cheese with hotdogs, he looked down at his plate and contemplated suicide.

It was a wurst case scenario.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2017
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Why is synthetic oil such a great product?

Because it's so we'll refined!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gnsnprwldwsl
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2017
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