It was a JIVE turkey!
Because no one expects the Spanish ink precision!
Sails are through the roof.
In other words, a pedi-file.
https://preview.redd.it/xaydp6kv31s51.png?width=600&format=png&auto=webp&s=28ef512ec7a376b9708bc3e7ca9cc3f702dae84c
He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is”
In my defence I only intended to rough him up a little bit
Because you might spread it.
It’s uncanny!
They’re margarinely funny.
I got a way with words.
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
“Well” said Jeff, “As I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
“Yes of course” replied Trevor
... keep reading on reddit ➡But every time I bring it up, she changes the topic.
Everyone loves smooth saline!
It’s a running joke.
I stopped because I wasnt feeling it.
It a sure way to get my mellow tones in.
All the files were deleted.
Cuz he had metal health problems
WMD-40
Literally they can’t even
It has a lot of mellow tonin’.
There’s two astronauts on a shuttle. It’s going smoothly when one astronaut noticed something wrong with the engine. He turns to the other and says “Hey, something seems to be wrong with the engine. You think this could be fatal?” The other astronaut replies:
“As tro hope naut.”
Waiter; Sir, you are drinking 7up.
He loved Filing.
Confused shrug in response
"Because Ubisoft"
There was hell toupee.
I said, “That’s completely pointless.”
A smooth operator (smoooooth opperrateerer)
She xxx-foliates.
He said I could have nailed it, but I screwed up
I went to Madrid last week and bought a pen. The pen was smooth and extremely accurate. Everybody who knew was surprised, no one expected the Spanish inkprecision
That way you’re a smooth criminal.
I didn't mean too. All I wanted to do was rough him up a bit.
But every time I bring it up, she smoothly changes the topic.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
