I am fluent in sign language

Stop, Speed Limit 30, No turn on red, Yield.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItzPenguato
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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When a candle says "soy candle," has it become self aware and fluent in spanish?
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ‘€︎ u/YetiFromJersey
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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A Fluent Affluent Effluent is just a top shit interpreter.
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/TIMISH
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2015
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I was hanging out with my French friend

We were talking about his daughter Patience, who had contracted an illness and started glowing green. To tell me he sat me down, looked me in the eyes and said; "Patience is a vert hue,".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthTalek
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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Today I found out that the coldest possible temperature is -273 degrees Celsius

All my life I thought it was something else but whatever, it’s OK.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ‘€︎ u/realRianJohnson
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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I'd like my fatherhood license please

A fake duolingo account made a post with a grammatical error. I corrected them, and here's the resulting joke

Anon- "duolingo is fluent in language, not grammar" Me- "languages require grammar... Czech mate"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bourgeois_Z
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
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Harry Potter was a programmer

He is fluent in Python

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scoob1978
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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I've peaked. I'll never say something this perfect again.

Celebrating my brother's birthday with a pizza party. Jokes were already starting about how much pizza I had eaten that night when my dad decided to change the subject and share a story about how he learned to speak Portuguese. Then I said, "I'm fluent in morepizzaplease."

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2017
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Hey, do you think you can write a Spanish essay for me?

Me and my friends were talking about the amount of schoolwork I'll be involved next semester. One of the courses I am taking is a Spanish class to fulfill a GE so I can graduate next semester. My friend, who's fluent in Spanish, told me it'll be a piece of cake.

Me: Hey, if Spanish is easy for you, do you think you can write my essays for me? (jokingly)

Him: I'll consider it. Depends on how hard the course is and what books you have to read for the class.

Me: Well, for the final paper, do you think you can give me a C, ese?

Him: Yeah, that shou... wait...

He let out a horrible groan while the other immediately got up and left the room while groaning. I'm pretty sure I could've made it a little bit better, but I'm happy with that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hurdleboy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2014
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A pair of Grandpa's favorites

When teaching us spelling that you didn't pronounce the last B in Bomb. "why not Grandpa?" "It's silent, like the silent P in swimming." He got me and my younger sisters in turn.

also, he spoke fluent French and German and would claim that "I can speak every language except Greek"

"Say something in Russian."

"That's Greek to me"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/evanthesquirrel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2013
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What do you guys think of Great Uncle Jokes?

This was translated from Bengali so it might sound a bit funny as I'm not completely fluent.

A boy in grade 5 wrote a letter to Bill Gates.

Dear Sir,

I have a few questions for you,

  1. Why are the letters in the keyboard scrambled??? When will the correct version be released?

  2. We use MS-Word, when will Mr. Word be released???

  3. There is no [Any Key] button on the keyboard yet why does the computer ask for it???

My last question is:

  1. Your name means gates yet why do you make windows???
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2014
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