I ran into this vegan girl who said she knew me
I had to tell her I'd never met herbivore.
My son asked me if I knew any good chemistry jokes as he'd just had his first chemistry class. I thought about telling him one about alkalinity...
But then I thought; 'Nah, too basic...'
My daughter was watching The Little Mermaid so I asked her if she knew why Sebastian was kicked out of college?
It's because all his grades where under da c
I met my wife in Korea. I knew right away..
My wife told me about her hard day. That's when I knew she was the imposter...
I knew a man who worked in restaurants his entire life. On his death bed, he told me he regretted that he never left to follow his dreams..
It was never the right time, so he spent his whole life waiting.
When I won the grand prize at cemetery, I knew exactly what it was.
When a clogged drain killed his family, a clog far past the u-bend & far beyond justice, he knew had to take matters into his own filthy hands. He had to become...
The first time I saw her, at her honey stall at the farmers market, I knew right away...
I knew everyone on my cruise
guess it was a pretty good relation-ship
please don't execute me
I once knew a guy who went to a party in Florida and got so drunk that he woke up in Alabama.
As you can imagine, he wasn't in a very good state.
I asked a Marine if he knew about Egyptian gods.
I used a dad joke from here on my dad and he already knew it. I asked him how and he said...
I once knew a guy who was a pilot but he wasn't very bright.
All of his friends called him plain stupid.
I once knew this guy who hated all high-range instruments.
I knew a guy who collected watches
He would link them all together into a sort of belt — I thought it was a waist of time.
One Night a Viking named Rudolph the Red told his wife, It’s going to Rain...she asked how he knew...
Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear
(Yes, I stole this from another sub:))
If I told you I knew a convoluted joke about a golf club, a sheep, a stinging insect, a tree, and that scary clown movie...
I always thought Joe already knew he was going to become president...
He was just Biden his time.
I never knew making socially awkward comments was such an important part of playing golf...
But I always hearing the commentators saying "He needs to make this faux pas"
From childhood, I knew i was destined to be a bartender
My friend asked if I knew about growing root vegetables.
I told him I just know of a neighbor who grows them. I haven’t dug deeper.
Upon seeing a gorgeous girl at the party, I knew I had to meet her. So I approached and told her about a special-purpose ship designed to move and navigate through frozen waters, and provide safe waterways for other boats and ships.
I've used it before and it works. It's the perfect icebreaker.
I never knew that Peter Sellers was a tank driver for Germany during WW2.
Apparently, it was a pink panzer.
True story: My girlfriend just asked me if I knew any good jokes about physicists (my profession). I said yes, but they were all about physicists' dating lives.
So they're pretty much all one-liners.
My friend denied that he was a ghost, but I knew he was lying.
I could see right through him.
Within minutes, the detectives knew what the murder weapon was.
I wish I knew some more fish jokes.
The ones I know are too crappie.
I knew a guy who disliked reflective headgear
You can say he was a matte hatter.
I knew a guy who gave away his art but he only seemed to paint ducks with incomplete faces.
I asked about it once and he said “I like to bill them later.”
I didn't make this up but I wish I knew who did.
It was a gloomy day for a funeral. The widow weeped quietly in the front row. A distinguished gentleman approached her and said "Ma'am, I'm so sorry for your loss. Would you mind if I said a word?" "Please do", she replied. He stands, straightens his tie, and says "Plethora." Then he sits down. "Thank you," she said.
"That means a lot."
I never really knew my dad. Mom said he would be out at the bank all night.
She said he was a real loaner.
I showed a picture of a sheep giving birth to some kids and asked if they knew what animal it was.
A girl just approached me and said she knew me from vegan club
But i swear ive never seen herbivore
The first five florists I called today knew absolutely nothing about laying carpet or tile.
And suddenly I’m the idiot....
I once knew a boomerang joke...
I hope it will come back to me.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
I knew she was a keeper when she sent this
My buddy Lee asked me if I knew what zero degrees Kelvin was called ...
My response, “absolutely”
I asked the librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels
She said, “Try Sarah Topps”
At that moment, Dr. Frankenstein knew what it felt like to be God.
Confucius knew the answers to all of life’s questions.
The same cannot be said of his twin brother, Confusion.
My son said he knew all the dinosaur species and he named all of them.
I said " oh yeah, you forgot the Theasaurus "
The first five florists I called today knew absolutely nothing about laying carpet or tile.
And suddenly I’m the idiot.....
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