I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81
I was walking home from work, talking to my husband on the phone. He asked me where I was. I said I passed a garden full of gnomes. He said he knew the one I was talking about.
I said "So it's a well gnome garden".
I laughed harder than he did.
My friend asked if I knew of any Middle Eastern countries…
I was like. Oman, I don’t know. Then I I was like, Yemen, I might be able to name a few.
My son asked me what I knew about masturbation
Now he has a tip that should come in handy.
I once knew a lady who was into crocheting in the dirt.
You could say she was in the knitty gritty.
Never knew this breed existed
Fell in love with a girl who only knew four vowels
I asked a conspiracy theorist if they knew who really won the election. They said…
I never knew what happiness was until I got married....
...and then, it was too late.
I knew someone with a crippling addiction awhile ago.
The amount of legs they had was astounding.
I knew a girl who could only add odd numbers
She literally could not even
I asked the librarian if she knew the author of a dinosaur book.
She said try Sarah Topps.
I ran into this vegan girl who said she knew me
I had to tell her I'd never met herbivore.
I once knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith
but for the life of me I can't remember the name of his other leg.
My son told me a joke today, but I already knew it
I once knew a frog mortician!
I knew what apple juice tasted like before I even tried it.
I had in-cider information.
I once knew a scarecrow that won an award
for outstanding achievements in his field.
My son asked me if I knew any good chemistry jokes as he'd just had his first chemistry class. I thought about telling him one about alkalinity...
But then I thought; 'Nah, too basic...'
My daughter was watching The Little Mermaid so I asked her if she knew why Sebastian was kicked out of college?
It's because all his grades where under da c
I once knew a girl who married a Chinese.
She had to Chang her last name.
Someone asked me if I knew where they could rent a 10 passenger van
I said I know where to rent the van but they had to find the passengers themselves.
Knew an bird watcher who lived so long he saw every bird except one. On his deathbed he was asked if he thought he used his time well
He said he had no Egretes
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would try flowers and candy.
My wife told me about her hard day. That's when I knew she was the imposter...
I couldn’t remember this guys name but knew it was Nate Gold-something.
When a clogged drain killed his family, a clog far past the u-bend & far beyond justice, he knew had to take matters into his own filthy hands. He had to become...
I met my wife in Korea. I knew right away..
I used a dad joke from here on my dad and he already knew it. I asked him how and he said...
From the moment I saw you I knew I wanted to do unspeakable things with you....
The first time I saw her, at her honey stall at the farmers market, I knew right away...
I knew a man who worked in restaurants his entire life. On his death bed, he told me he regretted that he never left to follow his dreams..
It was never the right time, so he spent his whole life waiting.
When I won the grand prize at cemetery, I knew exactly what it was.
I knew everyone on my cruise
guess it was a pretty good relation-ship
please don't execute me
I once knew a guy who was a pilot but he wasn't very bright.
All of his friends called him plain stupid.
I once knew a guy who went to a party in Florida and got so drunk that he woke up in Alabama.
As you can imagine, he wasn't in a very good state.
I asked a Marine if he knew about Egyptian gods.
I once knew this guy who hated all high-range instruments.
If I told you I knew a convoluted joke about a golf club, a sheep, a stinging insect, a tree, and that scary clown movie...
Within minutes, the detectives knew what the murder weapon was.
I knew a guy who collected watches
He would link them all together into a sort of belt — I thought it was a waist of time.
From childhood, I knew i was destined to be a bartender
One Night a Viking named Rudolph the Red told his wife, It’s going to Rain...she asked how he knew...
Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear
(Yes, I stole this from another sub:))
My friend asked if I knew about growing root vegetables.
I told him I just know of a neighbor who grows them. I haven’t dug deeper.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
