Because what he made was stolen!
"...40 second birthday". I was so proud.
He sits down, orders a beer, and begins to mull over his day.
After a few minutes he hears a quiet, and high pitched voice say "I like your shirt". He looks around and doesn't see anybody, so he goes back to his drink.
A few sips later he hears the same voice say "You have lovely eyes". He looks around again half expecting to see Alvin the chipmunk, but there is nothing.
After a few more sips, he hears it again, "I bet your parents are real proud of you". Finally he has had enough. He slams his drink down, looks over at the bartender, and says "what the hell is that high pitched voice I am hearing?!"
The bartender looks up and says "Its the peanuts...
They're complimentary."
on Sonday.
It was multi-ply wood
"How I wish... How I wish you were beer."
A woman asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over.
...talking to the wine."
Man....we were wild .
Yourewelcomegiving
Some people are so ungrateful. I used an entire pencil adding details to it and everything :(
[Just thought of this. I'm pretty happy with myself right now.]
I said, they absolutely have space- he’s only 20 inches and 6 lbs. [holding my hands up showing how small he is].
There's a lot of cold turkey to go around.
"You know, he's an expert in his field."
“Trump’s Not Down For the Count”
I replied, now you know how I feel.
I guess I'm suffering from 'stalk home' syndrome.
It was a real paradigm shift.
Because he worked 9 hours straight.
I was starting to smell
That's #2 on my list.
Dino-sore!
The cowch.
It was in a very remote place.
He said the times they were a-changin’.
I told her that was excellent.
.
(This is a true story.)
Deep down I realized it wasn’t for me.
She stayed down a lot longer than they do in the WWE
Being tired and weary, the lawyer-onion isn't sure whether to go, but decides he needs cheering up.
So he dresses smartly, puts on his favorite aftershave and heads over to his friend's.
He gets to the party to find it quite a packed affair and heads over to the bar - fighting through crowds of reveller-onions - to get a drink.
As he gets to the bar, he notices in one corner a slightly out-of-place female onion.
She looks a bit sad and being the compassionate onion that he is, he heads over to talk to her.
This is quickly affirmed as a good move, as they hit it off immediately; she was abandoned by her friends shortly after arriving and had been minding her own business ever since, but over a night of drinks and talking, they quickly fall into an infatuation and soon end up spending an oniony night of passion together.
When they awake in the morning, they don't find it awkward and a steady relationship between the two is struck.
This lasts a good while, having its ups and downs like any college relationship, but eventually the day comes when they both graduate.
The two couldn't be happier!
They both get jobs close to one another and move into an apartment together.
One day, the partner-onion is anxiously awaiting the lawyer-onion at home.
She's been ill all day and checking has confirmed her suspicions.
She tearfully - and joyfully - breaks the news to the lawyer-onion; they're going to have a tiny baby-onion together.
A shallot, if you will.
A few days later, this prompts the lawyer-onion to propose to his heretofore girlfriend-onion.
They are soon wed, having a fantastic wedding-day and husband and wife-onions are on top of the world.
The day comes of the birth and no complications - a tiny, healthy baby onion is born to two proud parents.
Seeing this little bundle of oniony love in their arms causes them to fall deeper in love than ever.
Over the next few years, husband-and-wife-onions' lives are fantastic.
He's prospering at work, she's really enjoying taking some time to raise the baby-onion and over time the baby-onion grows into a hale and hearty toddler-onion, who then becomes a child-onion.
One day, the idyll of the onions' lives is shattered when tragedy strikes.
The lawyer-onion (now a partner-onion in a prestigious law firm due to chance and hard work) is at work, and mother-onion is washing dishes and watching her child play in the yard.
She glances away to take another plate and turns her vision back to
... keep reading on reddit ➡I kneaded that.
He was Satired'
Adam
A Vindaloop
(and no, I didn't even know about the South Park Episode named that until I searched Reddit to see if this was posted before)
Yeh it was a vicious cycle!
He's okay now though, he quit cold turkey
So Saturday’s really are for the Boyce
The next day I woke up to her sobbing and I told her “good mourning!”
Man-tis day sucked
I looked at it and said, “This isn’t for me.”
And chill out.
I kneaded that
I said: “Tomorrow, May be”
