After days I finally found the thing to turn the TV on with.
It was in a very remote place.
Bob Dylan came to my house the day after Daylight Savings and adjusted all of my clocks.
He said the times they were a-changin’.
A surgeon had three surgeries assigned to the same day. After the first one he said: "One done, tumor to go"
Did you hear about the politician who came home late at night after a hard day at work?
What did the bear say after coming back from a long day at work?
Today, the day after Ash Wednesday, my assistant discovered she actually enjoys making spreadsheets.
I told her that was excellent.
.
(This is a true story.)
I ate my pants the other day, you would never guess what happened after.
If Christmas Eve is the day before Christmas, then what is the day after called?
It's tradition in my family to always put up the Chris-mas decorations the day after Thanksgiving
What do you call the phenomenon when you find yourself eating the same Indian curry day after day after day?
A Vindaloop
(and no, I didn't even know about the South Park Episode named that until I searched Reddit to see if this was posted before)
Did you hear about the guy getting hit by the same bicycle everyday, day after day..
Yeh it was a vicious cycle!
Y'know, the day after Thanksgiving always brings back memories of an old friend of mine who was addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers
He's okay now though, he quit cold turkey
The actor that played Luke on the Disney channel original TV show “Jessie” died the day after Friday
So Saturday’s really are for the Boyce
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
Got a job at a turf farm. After the first day. I thought to myself.
“This is sodly satisfying..”
The other day my best friend met his fate after accidentally falling into a printing press at work.
You probably read about him, he was in all the papers.
A small child was brought into hospital the other day after swallowing several small toy horses.
The doctors report that he is in a stable condition.
The day after our son died my wife came to me and said she felt like she wasn’t grieving properly and she felt bad.
The next day I woke up to her sobbing and I told her “good mourning!”
My wife asked me: “Is it May tomorrow or the day after?”
I said: “Tomorrow, May be”
What did Beethoven do the day after he died?
What did the bug say to his bug wife after a bad day?
My wife walked into the house after a long day at work. She looked tired and stressed. I said, " Did anyone tell you, you look beautiful?"
She smiled and said "No"
I said "One day, One day"
I was about to play cards after a long day’s work, but I found the aces missing.
I just can’t deal with this any more.
Hitting the bar after a ruff day at work
I bought a desk lamp for a dirt cheap price but it broke the day after. Went to the store to complain but I couldn’t get it fixed or refunded.
The store’s manager told me that I bought a one night stand.
I love Harry Potter but after re-reading the chapter the death-day party I realized something
Nearly headless nick was a very poorly executed character
What did the T. rex day after CrossFit class?
Why did the hikers sit down in the woods after a long day?
Every year, the day after Solstice.
Oh wow! It's already 5 o'clock and there's still a bit of light in the sky.
It was my first day on the job at the Tickle Me Elmo factory. My boss gave me the easiest, but most important, job on the assembly line. After a few hours, my boss frantically ran to my station to check in on me. "Why are you so far behind? Why are marbles and thread scattered everywhere?"
"Sorry boss... I just can't keep up! You told me to give each Elmo two test tickles!"
After a long day the horse family is gathering around the dinner table
Son: Hey, what's up?
Dad: How many times do I have to tell you not to talk to your food?
In many countries in the world, the day after Christmas is called Boxing Day.
It gets a little rough, but so far I'm undefeated.
Received the following text from my dad: Mom went with me to my doctor appointment the other day. After an extremely long wait I turned to Mom and said, "My butt fell asleep."
She replied, "Yeah, I heard it snore a couple of times."
My friend after a long day of hanging out: "want to go to Jack in the Box then call it quits?"
Me: "what's wrong with the name it has now?"
Took him a while to get it then he was pissed.
After spending the day eating vegetarian food
WW2 vets. Did you continue treating animals after the war or go back to your day jobs?
I had a date yesterday. I have one today. And tomorrow... and the day after...
What comes the day after Canadian Thanksgiving?
Canadian Yourewelcomegiving.
The teaching assistant for our class didn't show up the day after injuring his foot
Our professor told us he had a lame excuse
Cleaning up after the dog is definitely the crappiest part of my day.
In honor of Baseball opening day, here is what my father asked me every year after the first day of little league.
He would ask me, "so what position are you playing, left out?"
Dad got the car's AC fixed after Memorial Day
He came back singing "Freon isn't Free."
The day after getting a tattoo my ex-wife asked how it was feeling
Visited the parents after a hard day's work
Me: "Man, I am exhausted, I busted my ass today."
Dad: "I can tell, there's a crack in it."
He told me this one back when we first saw "The Day After Tomorrow"
[During the part when there's multiple hurricanes going on simultaneously]
Dad: You know, those hurricanes are female hurricanes.
Me: Really?
Dad: Yeah. Do you know what they call a male hurricane?
Me: What?
Dad: A himicane.
Me: http://media.giphy.com/media/QxMnbEqDemX5e/giphy.gif
Happened an hour ago after a day at the beach.
I was wiping a lot of sand out of my hair when...
Dad: "Wow son, looks like you have some serious sandruff."
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