help!! anyone know any good history valentineβs day puns?
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︎ Feb 06 2021
My friends and I had a six day pun-fest with nothing but hair jokes.
imgur.com/a/DocF1
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︎ Jan 24 2015
My friend was throwing a βbisexual partyβ the other day. Puns ensued
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︎ Apr 28 2018
Cake day pun!
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︎ Mar 29 2019
Looking for those St Patrick's Day puns
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︎ Mar 17 2014
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︎ Oct 07 2013
I feel like I should tell some pi day puns.
I guess that may be a bit too irrational for me.
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︎ Mar 14 2017
My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so
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︎ Mar 12 2021
Today is the day I can post it
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︎ Mar 02 2021
I forgot to post this on Pi Day. Oh well! The Argyle Sweater for 3/14/21
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︎ Mar 15 2021
I overdosed on viagra the other day
It was the hardest day of my life
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︎ Apr 17 2021
So I asked my dad one day: βWhatβs a forklift?β
And he said βfood usuallyβ.
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︎ Apr 17 2021
In the old days, excessive use of commas was considered to be a serious crime.
It usually resulted in a long sentence.
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︎ Mar 16 2021
One day is all I lasted as a Mailman. Turned up on time in my shiny new uniform, was a handed a letter and thought to myself..
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︎ Mar 10 2021
Just realised itβs Pancake Day....
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︎ Feb 16 2021
As I got out on the 11th floor, the lift operator said, "Have a good day son."
"Don't call me son, you're not my dad.!!" I said.
As the lift door closed, he looked me in the eye and said, "I brought you up, didn't I ?"
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︎ Apr 01 2021
I got into an argument with a statue the other day...
and I have to admit it had some rock solid points.
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︎ Apr 11 2021
I was walking with my son the other day...
He picked up an acorn and asked me what it was. I told him it was a tree. He said really? I said, well in a nutshell yes.
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︎ Mar 06 2021
My wife saw me drinking from a Halloween skull the other day
Wife: whoβs skull is that
Me: a man named Phillip
Wife: whatβs in it?
Me: vodka and orange juice.
Wife: .......
Me: itβs a Phillips head screwdriver
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︎ Mar 16 2021
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him fifty bucks that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf.
He said, "No the steaks are too high."
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︎ Apr 01 2021
I've had the most emotional cake day ever
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︎ Mar 11 2021
Makeup day
I told my dad the school was having a makeup day to cover any missed work, and he, typical dad, goes βtheyβre teaching you to put on makeup?β (Iβm a straight male)
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︎ Apr 12 2021
Did you hear about the guy who went on a fruit diet? In just 2 days, he became completely obnoxious
Evidently, it is enough to make a Mango crazy
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︎ Apr 16 2021
I was interrogating a crab the other day and I asked it βWhatβs your name? Where do you live? Whatβs that on your back?β
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︎ Apr 05 2021
A policeman pulled me over the other day and started crying as he was writing me a traffic ticket. I asked him why was he crying?
He said it was because I committed a moving violation.
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︎ Feb 28 2021
On my darkest days... [OC]
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︎ Apr 14 2021
The other day I asked my dad why he chose window cleaning as a profession
He told me it was the only job he could see himself doing
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︎ Mar 31 2021
Vocabulary for the day
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︎ Mar 22 2021
I am like a modern day Zeus....
I am not strong or godlike I am just constantly horny.
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︎ Apr 14 2021
β Rico Premium Rice Paper β have a rice day
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︎ Apr 07 2021
I hope that the universe keeps on expanding forever so all the heat runs out some day. It means that eventually things are gonna be 0 K
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︎ Apr 08 2021
I named my dog 6miles. So I can tell people I walk 6miles every day!
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︎ Mar 13 2021
Momma always told me "you are what you eat!" So I started eating mushrooms every day.
I wanted to become a fun guy.
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︎ Jan 07 2021
Went to the zoo the other day.
The only animal they had was a dog. It was a shitzu.
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︎ Mar 08 2021
I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didnβt sound anything like wasps!
Then I realised I was playing the bee side.
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︎ Mar 03 2021
I suggested my son wear a hi-hat for hat day at school but he said no.
Apparently he's not into cymbalism.
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︎ Mar 25 2021
One day Sven was walking past Ole's place and noticed a sign that said Boat For Sale.
Sven went up to the barn and said "Ole, I see da sign in your yard. All you have is a tractor and a combine". Ole said "Yep, and der boat for sale!"
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︎ Apr 16 2021
I saw a blind man who said, "One day I will see it all."
Then he sat down with his hammer and saw.
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︎ Mar 27 2021
I had to call tech support for my computer the other day.
Tech Support: βIt seems as though your operating system was installed backwards.β
Me: βSo?β
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︎ Apr 18 2021
Who decided to shorten this years Pi Day by an hour?
This was a very irrational decision
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︎ Mar 14 2021
Why do people wear shamrocks on St Patrickβs day?
Regular rocks are too heavy.
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︎ Mar 17 2021
Today is PI day, which always makes me hungry for pie
Now a slice of pie in the United States will set you back $5
But in the Bahamas and Aruba you can buy that same slice of pie for just $1
Yep. Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
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︎ Mar 14 2021
I went to a Ford dealership the other day looking for a specific model. The salesman told me they didnβt have what I was looking for and that I wasnβt allowed to leave.
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︎ Mar 09 2021
My stimulus check came on St. Patrick's Day.
That's what I call luck of the IRS
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︎ Mar 19 2021
I have had a very strange day.
First I find a hat full of money then I chased by some angry guy with a guitar!!!
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︎ Apr 17 2021
I saw some bees the other day...
I don't see what all the buzz is about.
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︎ Mar 28 2021
Ladder Day Saints ascending to heaven
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︎ Mar 22 2021
My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so
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︎ Mar 12 2021
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