Why are balloons so expensive these days?

Inflation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dinnen1
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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My wife's eyes are so much more noticeable these days.

It must be the mask era.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmdeemer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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Perhaps this is why wood floors are so popular these days
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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On the first day of my flying lessons, I looked down nervously and asked my instructor, β€œWhat are all these buttons for?”

β€œThey are to keep your shirt done up” he replied.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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The way kids are dressing these days makes me think they all have COVID-19...

...they obviously have no taste.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NutTote
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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So many people these days are too judgmental

I can tell just by looking at them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExtendedMacaroni
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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Novelty exit signs are quite a rage in my town these days.

But I think they are on the way out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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A lot of people these days are talking about chilies.

I don’t understand? Why is it such a hot topic?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
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What are they teaching kids these days?

My 2 year old little girl was sitting at the kitchen table eating her dinner. It was me and my wife and her, just chilling. So, she drops her napkin on the floor and I pick it up and hand it to her, to which she says thank you daddy. So, I ask her if she can say thank you in spanish.

"Thank you daddy, in spanish"

I almost choked on my meal I laughed so hard, and my wife groaned. I have never been prouder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lidsville76
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2016
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These golf ads are really going all out these days.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingDracula100
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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It’s crazy how fast milk trucks are driven these days...

One blink and they’ve gone pasteurise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KubaKomorebi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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Why are so many kids going viral these days?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ap39
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
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Have you noticed milk trucks are going faster these days?

One blink and they are pasteurize

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reidy91
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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I bet taxidermists are having a rough time these days.

There's so much competition from uberdermists and lyftdermists.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hacksnake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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Rap these days are called Mumble Rap. Kid Cudi's rap is called...

Hum-ble Rap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rupanath97
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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Good steaks are rare these days

so don't order yours well done.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fostejo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
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A lot of people wonder which microwaves are unsafe to use these days.

I tell them only the walk-in models.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rogan2929
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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The one cent penny and other low-value currency are used very little these days.

It’s no coincidence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LongneckBottles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
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I was buying a pair of shoes the other day when the cashier told me "These are half off today."

"In that case," I replied, "I'll take the left one."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GodMonster
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
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Celebrities these days are way too PC

Looking at you, Bill Gates

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HardlightCereal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
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A lot of kids these days are taking about coloring shirts.

I don’t know why they all want to dye.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuartoMaster
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
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Actresses are so cheesey these days..

Especially Gooey Bechamel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ralph3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2018
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These days, doctors are not too concerned about bird flu outbreaks.

Because it is Tweetable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2018
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Wow, these kids are going to have a field day...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScotchandCuss
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2017
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Politics are so corrupt these days...

that you cant even shoot a congressman without hitting a lobbyist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trimike
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2017
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Dad asks why are college students so interested in women these days...

A lot of them are studying a broad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josiah425
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2016
🚨︎ report
The first day of flying class, I looked down nervously and asked my instructor, β€œWow! What are all these buttons for?”

He said, β€œThey are used to keep your shirt closed.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
my first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?

copilot: they keep your shirt closed

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigbrady99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
So many people are too judgmental these days...

I can tell just by looking at them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abhishek26997
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
So many people these days are too judgemental.

I can tell just by looking at them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report

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