A list of puns related to "Comb Out"
The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”
The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”
Comb over and hang out
A piece of string goes to the local bar for a drink. The bartender says, "We don't serve string here" and kicks him out. He puts on a cowboy hat and a fake moustache and tries again. The bartender sees through his disguise and kicks him out again. Dejected, he sits on the sidewalk until he gets a great idea. He ties himself into a knot and combs out one of his ends. After he enters the bar the bartender says, "Hey! Aren't you the piece of string I just kicked out, twice?" and the piece of string says, "No, I'm a frayed knot."
What's the difference between mononucleosis and herpes? You get mono from snatching kisses.
If you were to lose your left arm, you'd be all right.
Why can't you hear a pteradactyl going to the bathroom? Because the P is silent.
Communists only write in lower-case letters because they hate capitalism.
I got a new job at the police sketching pictures of suspects. I'm a con artist.
Cat Woman's real name is Catherine Woman.
I have a new cat joke. ...Just kitt'en.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for Fresh Prints. *
Did you hear about the two men who stole a calendar? They got six months each.
I just saw an Apple store get robbed. Does that make me an iWitness?
Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.
I'm moving to Seoul. I was told it would be a good Korea move.
Did you hear about the professor who was killed in a car accident? He was grading papers on a curve.
Why isn't an iPhone charger called Apple Juice?
Ever try to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
When Peter Pan throws punches, they Never Land.
I was struggling to understand how lightning works, but then it struck me.
Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time, too.
Apparently Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny jokes about the moon, and then follow up with, "Ah, I guess you had to be there."
I'm going to make a TV series about a plane hijacking. We just shot the pilot.
Would you call a drunk working at an upholstery a recovering alcoholic?
Yesterday I got covered in ketchup from my head tomatoes.
Even though I've gone bald, I still keep the same comb I've had for 20 years. I just can't part with it.
Picture of my sister after getting her nose pierced "She nose something!"
I went to the dentist and showed him my cavity. He told me to pull up my pants and get the hell out.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It was okay - he woke up.
So what if I can't spell armageddon. It's not the end of the world.
When you get an infection, urine trouble.
"Hey waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!" "Yes, sir; it's fresh ground."
How did the butcher introduce his wife? "Meat Patty."
Elton John is a great piano player, but he sucks on the organ.
Elton John wrote a tribute to Amy Winehouse: Candle Under the Spoon *
What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke. *
*My absolut
... keep reading on reddit ➡As she was doing her makeup in the car, she was looking around for something she lost.
Me: Did you lose your eyelash brush?
Her: Eyelash brush? That's not a thing.
Me: Sorry, eyelash comb.
Her: No! That's not a thing either!
Me: Hey now, there's no reason to lash out at me...
Her: glares
Until the recent discovery that there's actually a lot more out there. They just comb over.
My wife just recently got her hair cut and for the first time in a long time she got bangs.
Her: These bangs after driving me crazy. They keep falling in front of my eyes. After I comb my hair I always get a bunch of long hairs mixed in with the smaller. And I'm getting a headache from swishing my head back to keep the hair out of my face.
Me: Well, I think you are doing a bang up job.
Today I sent my dad a text, proclaiming my desire to start keeping bees when I move into my new house next month. Below is a transcript of our text conversation:
Me: Dad, I want to start beekeeping at the new house.
Dad: I tried that once, but I broke out in hives.
Dad: Must be allergic
Dad: Not sure how to keep bees, but I'm sure we could bumble our way through it.
Dad: Don't know where you get bees so we'll have to comb the area for them.
Me: I thought if I ignored you this would stop.
Me: ...now I'm SKEP-ticle
Dad: Lol! Good one! Now I'm all abuzz with new ideas.
Me: Nope. We are done.
As an aside, my wife is pregnant, and I'm soon going to be a father. Clearly the dad joking begins during the first trimester.
I'm combing my beard in the other room and my wife calls out
"Hey, Jesuswig, could you get me a duck doo?"
"What the heck is a duck doo?"
"QUACK!"
In sixth grade I was (for whatever reason) combing my hair before going to sleep, probably checking myself out.
My dad must have noticed this while walking by my room and didn't miss a beat.
"Hey blessedmitch, I bet I know why you're combing your hair before bed." "Why?" "Because you're trying to leave a good impression on your pillow."
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