I told my dad I was accepted as an electrical apprentice...

He was shocked!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DonaldandHillary
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2021
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Just accepted new job at a bicycle factory

Gonna be their spokes person

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πŸ‘€︎ u/larryb78
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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My dad came out as trans so we accepted him as a man, my mom came out as trans so we accepted her as a woman.

It was honestly a surprise but at least they were both Trans-Parent about it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elemental55555
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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Am I accepted into med school now?

I was going to a fencing tournament with my teammates. In our hotel the night before, while unpacking, one of my teammates hit her head on a lamp. Rushing over I asked her if she was ok, or if she was feeling light-headed.

(Don't worry, she was perfectly ok)

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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My college friend got accepted to a social group by having to float out in the bay to mark a channel for their boats....

He was a frat buoy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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My neighbour said he'd look after my dog if I accepted the fact that he's currently dating a punctuation mark.

He's a comma dating.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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I wanted to name our son Miles but my wife thought we should go with something more universally accepted.

So we named him Kilometers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/byebyebyecycle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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I just got accepted into the most popular anger management group.

It’s all the rage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyeyedmcgee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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What did the nut salesman who only accepted credit cards say?

Cash? Ew!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/compass853
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
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I asked a girl way out of my league out and she accepted! Of course, she said she wanted to eat somewhere expensive...

So I took her to the airport.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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I just accepted a job offer at a dairy company

My dad sent me 3 texts

It appears that you are mooooooving on. I hope you milk all you can out of this experience. Cow are you feeling about this job change?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tessifer_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
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My surf buddy got accepted to Columbia University to study Journalism

He’s very passionate about current events.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jiggyjigster
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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β€œHey did you hear about the martial arts class that only accepted people with one leg?”

It was called Tae-one-toe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Narband
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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Celebrated singer Barry White usually did not pay his restaurant bill - when the time came, he offered to perform for the room, and most of the time the offer was accepted. On those occasions he never failed to sing his famous hit

"Let the music PAY"

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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I was in the delivery room with my wife when I tried my best to tell a hilarious dad joke. It wasn't well-accepted, and I realized...

I failed to read the womb

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackjackCoolio
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
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Accepted to Nursing School... this is what I got... imgur.com/BeFKtlY
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eflaves
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2014
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Why are communists accepted to better schools?`

They get good marx.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joald
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2017
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What do they say when you get accepted to Urology school?

Urine!

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shelberta
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2014
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When my dad accepted my boyfriend.

My dad used a piece of wood to stop our dog from going in the living room. He called it the "terrier barrier." Several years later, my boyfriend is over having dinner with us. Suddenly the dog jumps over the "terrier barrier"! Instantly my boyfriend says, "looks like it's an "Interior Terrier Barrier." We all lost it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/purpleeliz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2014
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Calling for something at work, I had the option to hear a joke. I gladly accepted.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmmdddmmm
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2014
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Cash not accepted

Brilliant joke from my cracker, have banked it for next year!

Q: what country is the only one to not accept cash?

A:The Czech Republic!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrangeandMango
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2013
🚨︎ report

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