I told my dad I was accepted as an electrical apprentice...

He was shocked!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DonaldandHillary
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 04 2021
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Just accepted new job at a bicycle factory

Gonna be their spokes person

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/larryb78
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29 2021
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My dad came out as trans so we accepted him as a man, my mom came out as trans so we accepted her as a woman.

It was honestly a surprise but at least they were both Trans-Parent about it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 56
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Elemental55555
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2020
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Am I accepted into med school now?

I was going to a fencing tournament with my teammates. In our hotel the night before, while unpacking, one of my teammates hit her head on a lamp. Rushing over I asked her if she was ok, or if she was feeling light-headed.

(Don't worry, she was perfectly ok)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Independent_Cricket7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 25 2020
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My college friend got accepted to a social group by having to float out in the bay to mark a channel for their boats....

He was a frat buoy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 29 2020
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My neighbour said he'd look after my dog if I accepted the fact that he's currently dating a punctuation mark.

He's a comma dating.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2020
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I wanted to name our son Miles but my wife thought we should go with something more universally accepted.

So we named him Kilometers

πŸ‘οΈŽ 52
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/byebyebyecycle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 15 2019
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I just got accepted into the most popular anger management group.

It’s all the rage.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 97
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/crazyeyedmcgee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 12 2019
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What did the nut salesman who only accepted credit cards say?

Cash? Ew!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/compass853
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 11 2019
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I asked a girl way out of my league out and she accepted! Of course, she said she wanted to eat somewhere expensive...

So I took her to the airport.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 22 2019
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I just accepted a job offer at a dairy company

My dad sent me 3 texts

It appears that you are mooooooving on. I hope you milk all you can out of this experience. Cow are you feeling about this job change?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tessifer_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 05 2018
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My surf buddy got accepted to Columbia University to study Journalism

He’s very passionate about current events.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jiggyjigster
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 21 2019
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β€œHey did you hear about the martial arts class that only accepted people with one leg?”

It was called Tae-one-toe

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Narband
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 09 2019
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Celebrated singer Barry White usually did not pay his restaurant bill - when the time came, he offered to perform for the room, and most of the time the offer was accepted. On those occasions he never failed to sing his famous hit

"Let the music PAY"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MonsieurCellophane
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 13 2019
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I was in the delivery room with my wife when I tried my best to tell a hilarious dad joke. It wasn't well-accepted, and I realized...

I failed to read the womb

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BlackjackCoolio
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25 2018
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Accepted to Nursing School... this is what I got... imgur.com/BeFKtlY
πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/eflaves
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 02 2014
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Why are communists accepted to better schools?`

They get good marx.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Joald
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 01 2017
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What do they say when you get accepted to Urology school?

Urine!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shelberta
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 19 2014
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When my dad accepted my boyfriend.

My dad used a piece of wood to stop our dog from going in the living room. He called it the "terrier barrier." Several years later, my boyfriend is over having dinner with us. Suddenly the dog jumps over the "terrier barrier"! Instantly my boyfriend says, "looks like it's an "Interior Terrier Barrier." We all lost it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/purpleeliz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 14 2014
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Calling for something at work, I had the option to hear a joke. I gladly accepted.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mmmdddmmm
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 27 2014
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Cash not accepted

Brilliant joke from my cracker, have banked it for next year!

Q: what country is the only one to not accept cash?

A:The Czech Republic!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OrangeandMango
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25 2013
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