My wife said we should get the siding replaced.

I said we should do the front since that's the part everyone actually sees.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phijjip
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Today my real estate agent showed me a house that had mirrors as siding

I could really see myself in it

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TomBradyGoat1212
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
🚨︎ report
The crew began removing/replacing our siding this morning

It's ex-siding

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigfatbeard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Ordering KFC, and I ask for a chicken wing. Cashier asks, β€œok sir, and which side?”

I replied I had never thought about it before, but I suppose I’ll take the right side.

Cashier: β€œsir, I meant mashed potatoes, corn, or beans.”

πŸ‘︎ 326
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?

So when they get back to port, they can Scandinavian

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDisneyDork
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the furriest side of a dog?

The outside

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AusSpyder
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
When migrating birds fly in the shape of a V, do you know why one side is always longer than the other?

That side has more birds.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.

My wife: Who did?

Me: Yep.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
On which side does the sheep have most wool?

The outside

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tea-rrific
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I ran out of gas on the side of the road. Along comes a swarm of bees.

I was confused, but they seemed friendly. I told them what was going on, and they said: open the gas cap. One by one, each bee flew into the tank, and to my astonishment the gas gage went from empty to full. The bees said: start the car. So, I did and it ran. I asked them: what did you put in the tank? Bee pee.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
The punny side of r/antimeme
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kanamuna24
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
When flying in V formation one side's often longer than the other. Do you know why that is?

That side has more birds on it

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AusSpyder
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
My vaccine dad joke failed

But it was worth a shot

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/balogny
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Dinner side dish

My friend invited me over for dinner and told me I had to try his mom's world renowned bacon fat fried okra. After we ate I didn't have the heart to tell him it was just mediocre.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GPJoe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog shit on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one:

Deja poo.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Scribbler
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear about the guy that had the whole left side of his body amputated?

He's all right now.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chuckie_Thunder
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
This guy was driving on the left side of the road

He just didn't choose the right thing

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youse_tobail32
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Which side of the chicken has more feathers?

The outside

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
They just don’t taste right!
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gacha_gurlOwO
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I cut my birthday cake in half and ate both sides.

I wanted to halve my cake and eat it too.

πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SynchronizeHS
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Norway just made the decision to put QR codes on the side of all its war ships.

Now they can Scandinavian!

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ValkornDoA
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the police officer say when she caught a man peeing on the side of a building?

Urine big trouble mister!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TitanPhoebs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened to the guy whose left side was cut off?

He is alright now

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rohan20201234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My ADHD medicine comes in a case shaped like a 3-sided polygon where each side is the same size, and the pills are distributed uniformly.

It's an equal Adderall triangle.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
All jokes a side
                                                                 All jokes
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AwwwwwwYeahhhhhhh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Written on the side of a hearse in front of a hair salon...

Will Curl Up And Dye For You

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I was supposed to park on the east side of the lot...

...but I occidentally parked on the west

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BiochemBeer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the side of a triangle in the savanna?

Hyppopotenus

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Red_Vader26
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
All of Norway's battleships have huge bar-codes printed on the side...

and when the ship comes to dock they Scandinavian.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolf_math
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does Norway and Sweden’s navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?

So the can scandinavian

Can’t take credit for this one. A client of mine told me this.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeutscheTaters
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
So the other day I ordered some Kung Pao chicken, but I think it came with a side of pasta instead of rice

Orzo it seems

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebobstu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does Norway have bar codes on the sides of their military ships?

It's so when they all come to port they can Scandinavian.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Turb0charg3d
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side

So I crashed my car

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Without anything to secure it, and unbeknownst to the driver, the trailer careened off the side of the road

It went off without a hitch

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Kenny Rodgers ended up in a wheelchair after an accident. While rolling down the side walk, he lost a wheel.

He sung: you picked a fine time to leave me, loose wheel.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkSideDweller
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What are cats favorite side dish for indian food?

~Nyaan~ bread

πŸ˜‚

Ill see myself out now πŸ˜…

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sanguis_Luppi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Migratory birds can be fascinating. You often see them fly in "V" formation across the sky. On occasion you see that one side is longer than the other. It's a simple scientific explanation really.

There just happens to be more birds on that side.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mrscottib23
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
germans:" i thought we were a team, why did you switch sides?" italians:"

Allied"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hitman07435
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
When geese are migrating they form a "V" shape, but do you know why one side is always longer than the other?

Because there are more geese on that side.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TempestWest
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
When ducks fly in a V one side is always longer. Do you know the reason?

More ducks

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SimplisticAnswer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body cut off?

he’s all right now

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is one side longer then the other when ducks fly in a V?

Because there’s more ducks on that side

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/evanpatrick2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
When geese fly in a V formation, one side is always longer than the other. Do you know why that is?

There are more birds on that side.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SkinDeep69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does the Norway Navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/artofmuziq88
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off?

He’s all right now!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phoenixrejoicez
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do Swedish war ships have barcodes painted in the side?

So when they come in they can Scandinavian.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thee-lorax-
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report

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