π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 05 2008
A man has been stealing wheels of police cars.
The police is working tirelessly to catch him.
π︎ 270
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
The local police station has had its toilet stolen
Officers have nothing to go on.
π︎ 172
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
Why do police get to riots early?
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Sep 20 2020
Someone stole the toilet at the police station last night
Cops have nothing to go on
π︎ 199
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
If police pull over a U-Haul van
π︎ 34
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
Why did the coffee file a police report?
π︎ 131
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
Why did the police officer arrest a duck?
The duck was selling quack
π︎ 113
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
Police were called to the local grocery store today
A man walked into the produce section and took a leek.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called SWAT team.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Aug 02 2020
When my son refused to take a nap, the police got involved!
Understandable, since he was resisting a rest!
π︎ 43
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
I asked my police officer friend if he had made any progress with the investigation into who stole all their internet cables.
He said: No, we haven't even got any leads.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
Police stations dog squad got robbed today.
Police officials donβt have any leads at this time.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
Police were questioning an egg
He couldnβt say anything, he was scrambling for words.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
What did the police officer say when she caught a man peeing on the side of a building?
Urine big trouble mister!
π︎ 15
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
A man is found dead in the desert. Cause of death appeared to be dehydration. The police go to his mother's house.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
What did police charge spice rack with?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
There's a giant fly attacking the police station
Don't worry, I've called in the SWAT team
π︎ 45
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
A man asks a police officer if itβs a crime to throw sodium chloride in someoneβs eyes
Officer: βYes, thatβs assault!β
Man: βI know itβs a salt, but is it a crime?β
π︎ 25
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
I saw a graffiti artist spraying a police station in a thick font.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
What do you call a police officer who refuses to get out of bed?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 23 2020
The police asked me why i was carrying so many pillows
I told them i was resisting a rest.
Credit to u/tooshiftyforyou
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
I went to the museum and saw a painting of a criminal, who claimed his innocence and insisted the police planted evidence.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
I tried to join the psychic police force
But I failed the vision test
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
I answered the door today and a police officer said "I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been in a car accident."
I replied "yeah, but at least she has a nice personality."
π︎ 42
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
There's an epidemic of exploding toilets at police stations.
Cops have nothing to go on.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
The police officer made me pay up for my crime.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
Something I wonder about vegetarian police
Do you think they still go on stakeouts?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Oct 30 2020
The police found the man who was stealing the soap.
They were close to catching him so he had to come clean.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
Apparently every police department has a food division
However, they only take cases involving a salt and buttery.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
Why do riot police arrive early to the protests?
... so they can beat the crowds!
Edit: Wow, this is now my second highest upvoted post ever, and it's not even my own joke! Totally should have credited the video I saw this in: https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/h8btkp/protester_has_a_joke_for_the_police_officers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Thanks for the laughs and great comment threads, Reddit :)
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jun 13 2020
The police were not convinced that my neighbor had hidden plastic explosives in his basement, so I told them...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 13 2020
Bad one but an effort was made though,And for the fact police,I know he was 6 ft
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
Wren kitchens have just been closed down by the police
Apparently it was a big counter fitting operation
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
The missus has been missing for a week now. The police have told me to prepare for the worst...
So I have been back to the charity shop to get all her clothes back!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
What do anti-police protesters use to move around in New York City?
A cab
(It came to mind and I have no wish for it to be political)
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 07 2020
A man has been stealing police car tires
The police are working tirelessly to catch him
π︎ 38
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
Why do police get to riots early?
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Sep 07 2020
Someone stole the tires off a police car
Theyβre working tirelessly to catch them
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
The Police Showed Up When My Son Refused to Take a Nap
They charged him with resisting a rest.
π︎ 190
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
Man seen stealing police car wheels.
The police are working tirelessly to catch him.
π︎ 52
π
︎ Oct 04 2020
Someone stole the toilet seat at the police station
Investigators have nothing to go on.
π︎ 374
π
︎ Aug 31 2020
A man has been stealing wheels off of police cars
Police are working tirelessly to catch him
π︎ 8k
π
︎ May 07 2020
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