My daughter(7) just caught me off guard with this.
Daughter : Whats Nana's middle name?
Me: the same as mommies, I think
Daughter: her middle name is just i think?
I'm so proud. Sorry if I don't know how to format, I tried.
I only like two deodorants, Sure and Right Guard
Feel free to disagree, that’s just my two scents.
Who'd want to be Trump's security guard ?
you shout "Donald, Duck" & everybody would just laugh
Don't let your guard down.
Are the guards at the Paralympics armed?
Or is that considered cheating?
What do dentists and security guards have in common?
Why didn't the life guard save the hippy from drowning?
Because he was too far out man.
At the beach, opposite the life guard, a man sleeps on a towel, adjacent an unopened umbrella.
When he wakes up, he's going to be a tan gent.
What do you call security guards who guard Samsung stores.
Guardians of the Galaxies
A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.
The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."
What do you call a guard at the Samsung store?
A guardian of the galaxy!
A midget escaped from prison by using bed sheets tied together and scaled down the outside wall. He left a note detailing his escape plan, highlighting the prison guards stupidity and incompetence.
The Warden said "he's a little condescending"
What do you call a security guard at a swimming pool?
What did the kindergarten teacher say to the kindergarten security guard?
You can watch the kids, but don't Overwatch them.
That's just creepy...
Last November 5, i was caught off guard when I was approached by a stranger angrily telling me to butt out of his romantic affairs.
As if i care who that Guy F××××s.
Do you think Shakira calls her body guards her shakiraty guards?
My wife volunteers as a school crossing guard.
I tell everyone she’s into human trafficking.
What’s the difference between a jeweler and a prison guard?
one watches cells and one sells watches
My boss told me as a security guard its my job to watch the office.
I am on season 6 so far, but not sure what it has got to do with security.
The presidents guards aren’t allowed to scream “get down” before the president is attacked anymore.
They have to yell “Donald, Duck!”
Edit: whoever gave me the gold award, thank you so much. I would repay you in a way, but I don’t know who you are.
When does the dwarf that is a knight, guard the castle?
What do you call a security guard for a trampoline?
How do guards decide who the best prisoner is?
Apparently, having a guard stationed outside your home
Is a practice thats sentries old
Who was the Knight that was caught off guard in the battle field?
I know a really great joke about the Army Reserve and National Guard...
But it only works one weekend out of the month.
I met the world’s greatest security guard the other day. When I asked him the secret, he said it was all in his name.
I had to give a guard a toy before I was allowed to go fishing in the lake...
I guess that's the Fisher Price.
What do you call a Samsung store’s security guard
A guardian of the Galaxy
What do the swiss guard and swiss cheese have in common?
They're both known for their holiness
What was it like being surrounded by all those guards and prisoners?
Well there were pros and cons.
I killed the guards for internet to post this,they are coming soon,1 upvote= 1 dies
Why couldn't the life guard save the hippie?
(Hippie voice )Cause he was to far out man....
The metal detector beeped when the guard was checking me. He asked me if I had any metallic stuff with me, I said:
No...it just beeped because my Shirt is Ironed.
Did you hear the one about Epstein’s Prison Guard who died in a car crash?
It’s all over next weeks papers
Why couldn’t the life guard save the hippy?
Because he was too far out, man
What do you call the guards of a Samsung store?
The Guardians of the Galaxy
My wife volunteers as a crossing guard, but gets really mad at me when I tell everyone about it.
I say, “She’s into human trafficking.”
Do you know what they call the security guards at Samsung?
What do you call a security guard at a samsung store
My boss told me as a security guard its my job to watch the office
I'm on season 6 so far, but not sure what its got to do with security.
What do you call the security guards at the Samsung store?
What do you call the security guards outside a Samsung factory?
What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
Boss told me that as a security guard, it’s my job to watch the office
I’m on season 6 and I’m not really sure what this show has to do with security
If there are security guards outside of a Samsung store does that mean they are
Why didn’t the life guard save the hippie