Security Guard Puns

I’m on season eight. Still not sure what this has to do with security.

Because he is not the best of the mall

you shout "Donald, Duck" & everybody would just laugh

Cavity searches.

Guardians of the Galaxies

The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."

The poolice

You can watch the kids, but don't Overwatch them.

That's just creepy...

A bouncer

Guardian of the Galaxy

Barry R.

A guardian of the Galaxy Credit:u/eatsleeprepeat101_

...does this make them...Guardians of the Galaxy?

:D

Hotter half shared that with me the other day. We're trying to build up our dad joke repertoire with a recently arrived bub.

EDIT: for removal of apostrophe

Me: it’s a service burrito.

He didn't want his metaphors to be taken literally.

Known as "bouncers" ?

A grounds-keeper

Coalgate.

“Sir, if you want to get ruff, we can take this to the barking lot.”

I was walking by the front desk with a leaf blower and the security guard puts his hands up and says "leaf me alone!"

i smirk at him and quickly come back with "Ahhh, I tree what you did there"

I’m not sure, but I think this belongs here:

I work night shift as a unit clerk at a hospital, and there is this one old security guard who goes on rounds to every unit. He always stops at my desk and cracks really cheesy, cringe-worthy jokes. He has this one awful (awesome?) knee-slapper that seems to be a permanent fixture in his "dad joke" repertoire. He’s said it 3 or 4 times already since I’ve started working here in March, so I'm pretty sure this joke is constantly on standby for him.

This is the exact conversation every time:

Security dude: How are you doing this fine evening?

Me (purposefully setting myself up for it): Pretty good. How about you?

Security dude: Really? WELL, I’ve never been pretty or good, so I don't know what that's like! Hahahahahaha (continues to laugh like this is the funniest joke that’s ever been told).

I am on season 6 so far, but not sure what it has got to do with security.

Guardians of the Galaxy

I'm on season 6 so far, but not sure what its got to do with security.

Guardians of the Galaxy

Guardians of the Galaxy?

I’m on season 6 and I’m not really sure what this show has to do with security

Guardians of the Galaxy.

Guardians of the Galaxy

Guardian of the Galaxy.

Guardians of the Galaxy!

Guardians of the galaxy

Guardians of Galaxy

Does that make me one of the Guardians of the Galaxy?

Guardians Of The Galaxy.

The Guardians Of The Galaxy

Guardians of the Galaxy