Blanch: "Why did pickling upset you so badly? Is everything ok?" Me: "The whole experience was quite jarring...."

Blanch: "I get it. That can leave you in a bad headspace but, I'm an open kettle - you can tell me anything."

Me: "I just need to vent, Blanch."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pj566
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Pickle Pun!
πŸ‘︎ 113
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eoin741
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2014
🚨︎ report
You guys hear about the giant pickle?

It was kind of a big dill

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bumtoucherr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I was driving down the interstate when I came across a sign for the world's largest pickle...

I turned at the next exit and found that there was a whole town around it.

Shops, restaurants, even churches devoted to this pickle.

When I finally found the museum holding this legendary pickle, I discovered it was closed.

Dismayed, I went back to the interstate.

I just never saw what the big dill was.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
we are certainly in a pickle
πŸ‘︎ 888
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ValilolHD
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call dirty pickles?

Cucumbers in grime.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.

My 10 year old son: Don't worry, it's not a big dill. My wife while looking at me: -.-

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfessorPeterr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do pickles never take the stairs?

They're cucumbersome!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Iceberg!! Iceberg!! We're in a titanic pickle here

But lettuce romaine calm, help will turnip soon

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you use to make pickle bread?

Dill dough.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaymanRich
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that they just broke the Guinness Record for largest pickle?

It was a real big dill!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/static612
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a cucumber become a pickle?

It goes through a jarring process!

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rheallygirl
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
world's in quite a pickle already
πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peaceful_sinner
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about the guy with the pickle in his ear?

Neither did he.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CyberOGa3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the cucumber say to the pickle?

"What's your dill?"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/raptorrowan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
How do pickles celebrate their cake day?

They relish the moment.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TB_II
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My obese friend was proud as she heaped a pickle topping all over her hot dog...

She relished it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about all the competition in the outdoor pickled cabbage contest?

It was a krauted field.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/citrusguy9
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
An beautiful woman orders a turkey sandwich at a deli, with pickles on the side. The guy behind the counter looks at her and says, "You like big pickles?" and winks. As he slides her a pastrami sandwich she looks at him, smiles, licks her lips and says

Wait, wrong sub.

πŸ‘︎ 666
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πŸ‘€︎ u/baconaboot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
HEADLINE: Vermont man arrested for throwing pickle from moving vehicle, striking a highway worker...

It wasn't a Vlasic case of road rage, but it's still Claussen quite a commotion.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guy from Bavaria when he’s in a pickle?

A Gherman.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LargeTunaHalpert
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What to do, when a pickle get's stuck in your butt?

Oh shit, this isn't Google!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/takarics
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Iceberg! Right ahead!
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aliciab12
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Brining pickles makes them last much longer than fresh cucumbers, but packing them in air-tight containers…

That's what really seals the dill.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Who_GNU
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
"I'm a strong supporter of the LTPO community...

(Lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion.)"

God dammit, dad.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ASProtag
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
While I was grilling, my son asked "can I get pickles on my burger, If it's not too much to ask?"

Me: It's not a big dill

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mwanni
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I always mix up chutney and pickle....

It makes me chuckle.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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The grocery store was having a sale on pickles.

It was a good dill.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Musicguy1982
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
🚨︎ report
A cousin of mine is in charge of distribution for this big pickle company; he was freaking out over the weekend after sending only miniature pickle chips to a restaurant that asked for full sized ones..

They told him it wasn't a big dill, though.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Y33T-HAW
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
It was my turn to hide the pickle on the tree this Christmas.

No matter how hard I tried, you could always see the jar sticking out. It was a Vlasic holiday blunder.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nicker87
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a folk musician, floating in a pickle jar?

Bob Dillin'

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Irrational fear

I'm terrified of elevators and I'm taking steps to avoid them

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnderJrack
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Sometimes you're just in a pickle
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/highpineapple8
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I turned myself into a pickle morty
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I once slipped on a pickle.

I'm over it now but it was a big dill at the time.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phillydog1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Mr. Pickle has a decent following on twitter...

He's kind of a big dill

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JBaczuk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the truckload of pickles that overturned on the highway...

I dunno what the dill is... details are sketchy. I relish any comments with more info about this incident.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My new job has me moving boxes upon boxes of pickles.

I find the whole procedure rather cumbersome.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFillywonk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the pickle say to the other pickle?

Ahh a talking pickle!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeonsaltoYT
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
How do pickles enjoy their day off?

They relish it.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hiesenbooger
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the world's largest pickle?

It's a really big dill.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a cucumber become a pickle?

It goes through a jarring experience.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Never forget the pickle

It kind of a big dill

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtrasour37
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the giant pickle?

It’s a pretty big Dill.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peechykeen19
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the CEO of Vlasic?

He was kind of a big dill.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaGoobergoobs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I just won a pickle growing competition!

It's a pretty big dill.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/37EastAsianSalads
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report

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