What happens when a relish confronts someone changing clothes?

A dressing addressing a dressing

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Persons1001
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02
🚨︎ report
I relish her response.
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mikerockitjones
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2018
🚨︎ report
My Grandfather survived Pepper spray and Mustard gas attacks in two wars...

... And came home to us a seasoned Veteran.

Edit : To use a war pun.. " Wow, this really blew up " ...Thanks to all for contributing to this bit of fun. I feel like Granddad now with all the medals.

πŸ‘︎ 19k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29
🚨︎ report
I hadn’t seen my friend Mustard in a year

It was great to ketchup with him

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30
🚨︎ report
What did the mustard say to the other sauce when they went for a run?

Ketch up

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/liverpool135
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13
🚨︎ report
How do pickles celebrate their cake day?

They relish the moment.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TB_II
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
puns from r/memes
πŸ‘︎ 933
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StealthyInk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I named my horse mayo.

Mayo neighs.

πŸ‘︎ 822
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/khanglikestowin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Unless sweet is your thing.

If you put too much relish on your hotdog is it dill appetited?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GavinStrict
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
How do pickles enjoy their day off?

They relish it.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hiesenbooger
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
nothing tops a plain hotdog
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/__ch4nc3__
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I finally was chosen to picked toppings for the hot dogs!

I relished the opportunity!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
Hehe.
πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scaredofheights00
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Family group chat asking my Dad about the giant bottle of Mustard he bought

A pump? No, I just refill a smaller squeeze bottle to fit in the fridge.. but I relish all the comments you guys made. - Bryan (59)

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hali_Stallions
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
🚨︎ report
Gordon Ramsay once survived a mustard-gas attack when he was in the army. Then, he got pepper-sprayed whilst at a protest.

You could say that he is relished among the cooking community, and truly a seasoned veteran

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dg_zano
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
The card I got from my father is shaped like a hot dog

"Hot dog, it's your birthday! Let's be Frank, you're probably planning to party your buns off, so go ahead - don't be a weenie! Relish every moment of your celebration."

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/undeadpenguins
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
On a hot summer day, a woman has a hankering for a hot dog. She walks to the nearest hot dog stand and gets in line. Looking up to the front of the queue, she sees an elderly gentleman ordering a bratwurst...

He picks up the ketchup bottle, glances at it and gives a hearty chuckle before slathering his brat in ketchup.

Puzzled, the woman watches as the next customer, a young girl, walks up to order her hot dog.

As she takes the container of relish, she bursts into a fit of giggles and walks off with her food, still laughing merrily.

A middle-aged man steps up next. Shoveling sauerkraut onto his hot dog, he laughs uproariously and walks away grinning.

When she reaches the front of the line, the woman asks the hot dog vendor,

β€œExcuse me, sir, but why does everyone laugh when they get their hot dogs?”

β€œIt’s simple, ma’am.” he says, handing her a piping-hot sausage. β€œI’m surprised you haven’t discovered for yourself.”

Glancing at the mustard, the woman lets loose a peal of laughter.

β€œYa see, ma’am? The real_joke’s always in the condiments!"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the ketchup never leave the fridge?

He just couldn’t muster up the courage.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nolanix
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I started my own pickle company

It's kinda a big dill.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RobRoy333
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the truckload of pickles that overturned on the highway...

I dunno what the dill is... details are sketchy. I relish any comments with more info about this incident.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone asked me recently why I don't put any ketchup or mustard on my hotdog

And I told them it's because I just wanna relish it.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trollcitybandit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I bought a horse

I bought a horse and called it mayo because mayo neighs.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ezeei
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2017
🚨︎ report
What's the similarity between pessimists and people with a phobia of sausages?

They both fear the wurst

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TomG93
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2016
🚨︎ report
My wife tells my son (wearing a green shirt) he looks like a pickle...

My son: "I will take that as a condiment"

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/override11
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2015
🚨︎ report
My wife despises a certain condiment

I asked if she had ever heard of the local horse impersonator? That man neighs!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmeanmustid
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
🚨︎ report
A Hot Dog and a Pickle are in bed together. The Hot Dog says to the Pickle...

I relish the thought of you on top of me.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDragonoxx
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad-joked my son when I picked him up from school yesterday.

Me: Did you hear about the soldier that survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

My Son: Nope.

Me: He's a seasoned veteran.

My Son: Ugh...

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ItMightGetBeard
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2013
🚨︎ report
He's a dad too. He chuckled.

Co-worker was telling me about his experience through the storms this weekend and how high winds blew his tomatoes down even though they were staked up.

Me: So, what you're telling me is you got caught with your plants down.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bobarhino
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2014
🚨︎ report
What does a Ketchup say when he has to use a bathroom?

I Must-turd

πŸ‘︎ 148
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HanSoloz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
🚨︎ report
I turn 21 in In 38 minutes and my nickname with my friends is β€œpickle” so how do I spend my birthday?

Well I β€œRelish” the moment obviously

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTexican11
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I don’t celebrate Cinco de Mayo, but I do celebrate Seis de Mustard.
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
🚨︎ report
What condiment was granted knighthood?

Sir Racha! (Sriracha).

As much as I don’t want to admit it, this is something I came up with (and I am a dad).

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nielmot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did mustard start walking slower?

Because his friend couldn't ketch up

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PCreeper394
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2016
🚨︎ report
My dad pulled a fast one on me.

Me (eating hot dogs): Damn, I love how relish and mustard go so well together! It's like they're made for each other or something.

Dad: I didn't know you like relish and mustard that much.

Me: Me neither, this is really good!

Dad: Well that was quite the... complement.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iAmWerfs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2016
🚨︎ report
My niece is a dad i think

She was wearing yellow and her sister was wearing red. i told them they looked like ketchup and mustard when she replied, "Well thank you. I'll take that as a condiment."

πŸ‘︎ 229
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2016
🚨︎ report
Throwing a party with hot dogs and hamburgers? I will 100% go for the hot dog.

I relish the decision every time.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnluckpickcard
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the mustard say to the ketchup

I RELISH the fact that you MUSTERED the strength to KATCH-UP to me

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/seamouse05
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the pickle enjoy its day off?

It relished it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I don't fear condiments.

I relish them.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wilberfarce
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked a new trainee

So I work in a restaurant and one of the duties shared by the servers is marrying ketchups, which is basically just pouring half full ketchups into each other so we don't end up pouring new ketchup on top of old ketchup.

A new server asked me the best way to do this so I took her back to the kitchen, grabbed two bottles of ketchup and proclaimed:

"If anybody knows of any reason why these two ketchups should not be joined in holy condimony, let them speak now, or forever hold their mustard."

She laughed, other servers were unimpressed.

πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Only1nDreams
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2014
🚨︎ report
many people who love hotdogs

eat them with relish!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jwlkr70
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I love to smother my burger with lots of chunky tomato, onion and garlic condiment...

I really relish it.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfessionalEntry
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report
I had a great lunch at Costco today

I always relish their hotdogs.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
My FIL was talking about his catch-up 401-K

At dinner, my father in law was talking about how he has a catch-up 401K and can contribute extra each year. I told him to be careful and that he should maybe diversify with a mustard 401K as well.

πŸ‘︎ 89
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/piyoucaneat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2016
🚨︎ report
I've been hitting the bottle pretty hard lately…

I just can't seem to get the last of that ketchup out…

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
🚨︎ report
I gave my kid cheap deli meat for lunch

After eating a whole bunch, he said "I'm hungry" I replied, "you're full of balogna."

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yismeicha
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2015
🚨︎ report
I didn't want to add dijon to my sandwhich thinking it would be too spicy

But I mustard up the courage and did it anyway.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quenoquesoporque
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2015
🚨︎ report
How did one hotdog win the race against the other hotdog?

He mustard enough energy to ketchup to his opponent. He really relished his victory.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cleopad1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2017
🚨︎ report
Heard during the superbowl

They’re really relishing the underdog roll

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/amattadohb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you not carrot all? encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.co…
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thekittenofdoom
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2014
🚨︎ report
Got over charged at a hotdog stand

There was an extra zero on the bill, so it ended up being like 70 bucks. Called the customer service at my bank and threw this gem into the conversation :

"I mean I'm just ball parking, but $70 seems a little steep to be frank."

Cue dead silence on the line. I relish these moments.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/domuseid
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2014
🚨︎ report
Drive-by dadjoked at a SWE outreach event

A fellow group leader and I were speed copying names of our girls' parents to make the check out process easier later in the day. I told her "You're behind! You need to catch up!" A random dad walking by simply remarked "AND mustard!" and continued on. It took me a second, but I laughed hysterically.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mystori
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2015
🚨︎ report
Hot Dog Puns

a friend's text to me: I have eaten three mini hot dogs

my response: Frankly, that sounds delicious

I declare you the weiner of the food contest

I hope you dance your buns off

I relish the opportunity to ketchup at a later date


I feel like I could have done more - any other good ones out there?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wowmomlol
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2015
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the starving man at the barbecue?

He ate his hot dog with relish.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LambentEnigma
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2016
🚨︎ report
I put only mustard on my hot dogs...

...but I eat them with relish.

Actually said by my dad, yesterday.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fine-rusty-knife
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2016
🚨︎ report
What is an optimist's favorite condiment?

Relish.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2016
🚨︎ report
Dijon

me: just finished the presentation dad: kk how did it go? me: it went well, it was difficult because it was only a 10 minute presentation when we are used to 20 minute long ones dad: dijon dad: should be two hours of prep for each minute or presentation me: we pulled it off quite well and prepared for a while too dad: dijon and relish me: what does that mean? dad: dijon and relish... kidding you'll ketchup

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/a066611484
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2014
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked my girlfriend the other day...

Me: How's your day going so far? Her: it's going pretty well. I went out for a hot dog walk earlier. Me: that's cool. Did you relish it?

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rahlord
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2014
🚨︎ report
Every time we had hot dogs...

I eat my hot dogs with relish!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/no_modest_bear
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2013
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked by a mom

My sister's best friend, a mother of two, had us over for Easter yesterday and made burgers and hot dogs. The mom-friend was putting relish all over her hot dog and I said "you like relish?" She said, "I love relish... I relish in it!" Such a mom.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/w000p
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2014
🚨︎ report
I named my horse Mayo.

Mayo neighs.

πŸ‘︎ 511
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dankmonseiur69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2018
🚨︎ report
I have a horse named Mayo

Mayo Neighs ..

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Messicanhero
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I don't fear condiments...

I relish them.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wilberfarce
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2016
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.