What happens when a relish confronts someone changing clothes?

A dressing addressing a dressing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Persons1001
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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I relish her response.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikerockitjones
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2018
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Today I finally told my family about my hot dog addiction

It was really hard but I managed to mustard all the courage to do so

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rafacu_el_dino
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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What did the hotdog say to it’s bun?

Ketchup! I’ve mustard all my strength to help you!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imprettywitty
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Ketchup
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stont753
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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My Grandfather survived Pepper spray and Mustard gas attacks in two wars...

... And came home to us a seasoned Veteran.

Edit : To use a war pun.. " Wow, this really blew up " ...Thanks to all for contributing to this bit of fun. I feel like Granddad now with all the medals.

πŸ‘︎ 19k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.

My 10 year old son: Don't worry, it's not a big dill. My wife while looking at me: -.-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfessorPeterr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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The Punner’s Prayer

Dear Lord as week seek to produce puns worthy of your praise, lettuce relish this opportunity. We ask that you would cause humor to sprout in the hearts of those who think us nuts. Continue to cultivate in us passion, fruit which beets back sadness and joy which leeks into others. Though some may say we are corny we know you will give us sage wisdom. Give us the confidence to know we are kale’in it as we bring choy to the world and live apply ever after.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cool-breeze7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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puns from r/memes
πŸ‘︎ 935
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StealthyInk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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What did the mustard say to the other sauce when they went for a run?

Ketch up

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/liverpool135
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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How do pickles celebrate their cake day?

They relish the moment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TB_II
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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nothing tops a plain hotdog
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/__ch4nc3__
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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My obese friend was proud as she heaped a pickle topping all over her hot dog...

She relished it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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Hehe.
πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scaredofheights00
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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Unless sweet is your thing.

If you put too much relish on your hotdog is it dill appetited?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GavinStrict
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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How do pickles enjoy their day off?

They relish it.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hiesenbooger
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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I finally was chosen to picked toppings for the hot dogs!

I relished the opportunity!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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Gordon Ramsay once survived a mustard-gas attack when he was in the army. Then, he got pepper-sprayed whilst at a protest.

You could say that he is relished among the cooking community, and truly a seasoned veteran

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dg_zano
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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What's the similarity between pessimists and people with a phobia of sausages?

They both fear the wurst

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TomG93
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2016
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I bought a horse

I bought a horse and called it mayo because mayo neighs.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ezeei
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2017
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Family group chat asking my Dad about the giant bottle of Mustard he bought

A pump? No, I just refill a smaller squeeze bottle to fit in the fridge.. but I relish all the comments you guys made. - Bryan (59)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hali_Stallions
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
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Why did the ketchup never leave the fridge?

He just couldn’t muster up the courage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nolanix
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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My wife tells my son (wearing a green shirt) he looks like a pickle...

My son: "I will take that as a condiment"

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/override11
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2015
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I started my own pickle company

It's kinda a big dill.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobRoy333
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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On a hot summer day, a woman has a hankering for a hot dog. She walks to the nearest hot dog stand and gets in line. Looking up to the front of the queue, she sees an elderly gentleman ordering a bratwurst...

He picks up the ketchup bottle, glances at it and gives a hearty chuckle before slathering his brat in ketchup.

Puzzled, the woman watches as the next customer, a young girl, walks up to order her hot dog.

As she takes the container of relish, she bursts into a fit of giggles and walks off with her food, still laughing merrily.

A middle-aged man steps up next. Shoveling sauerkraut onto his hot dog, he laughs uproariously and walks away grinning.

When she reaches the front of the line, the woman asks the hot dog vendor,

β€œExcuse me, sir, but why does everyone laugh when they get their hot dogs?”

β€œIt’s simple, ma’am.” he says, handing her a piping-hot sausage. β€œI’m surprised you haven’t discovered for yourself.”

Glancing at the mustard, the woman lets loose a peal of laughter.

β€œYa see, ma’am? The real_joke’s always in the condiments!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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Dad-joked my son when I picked him up from school yesterday.

Me: Did you hear about the soldier that survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

My Son: Nope.

Me: He's a seasoned veteran.

My Son: Ugh...

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItMightGetBeard
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2013
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The card I got from my father is shaped like a hot dog

"Hot dog, it's your birthday! Let's be Frank, you're probably planning to party your buns off, so go ahead - don't be a weenie! Relish every moment of your celebration."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/undeadpenguins
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
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He's a dad too. He chuckled.

Co-worker was telling me about his experience through the storms this weekend and how high winds blew his tomatoes down even though they were staked up.

Me: So, what you're telling me is you got caught with your plants down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bobarhino
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2014
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My wife despises a certain condiment

I asked if she had ever heard of the local horse impersonator? That man neighs!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmeanmustid
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
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Someone asked me recently why I don't put any ketchup or mustard on my hotdog

And I told them it's because I just wanna relish it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trollcitybandit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
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Did you hear about the truckload of pickles that overturned on the highway...

I dunno what the dill is... details are sketchy. I relish any comments with more info about this incident.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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What does a Ketchup say when he has to use a bathroom?

I Must-turd

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HanSoloz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
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Why did mustard start walking slower?

Because his friend couldn't ketch up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PCreeper394
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2016
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I turn 21 in In 38 minutes and my nickname with my friends is β€œpickle” so how do I spend my birthday?

Well I β€œRelish” the moment obviously

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTexican11
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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I don’t celebrate Cinco de Mayo, but I do celebrate Seis de Mustard.
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πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
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A Hot Dog and a Pickle are in bed together. The Hot Dog says to the Pickle...

I relish the thought of you on top of me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDragonoxx
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
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What condiment was granted knighthood?

Sir Racha! (Sriracha).

As much as I don’t want to admit it, this is something I came up with (and I am a dad).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nielmot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2017
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My dad pulled a fast one on me.

Me (eating hot dogs): Damn, I love how relish and mustard go so well together! It's like they're made for each other or something.

Dad: I didn't know you like relish and mustard that much.

Me: Me neither, this is really good!

Dad: Well that was quite the... complement.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iAmWerfs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2016
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My niece is a dad i think

She was wearing yellow and her sister was wearing red. i told them they looked like ketchup and mustard when she replied, "Well thank you. I'll take that as a condiment."

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2016
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Throwing a party with hot dogs and hamburgers? I will 100% go for the hot dog.

I relish the decision every time.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnluckpickcard
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2018
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Dadjoked a new trainee

So I work in a restaurant and one of the duties shared by the servers is marrying ketchups, which is basically just pouring half full ketchups into each other so we don't end up pouring new ketchup on top of old ketchup.

A new server asked me the best way to do this so I took her back to the kitchen, grabbed two bottles of ketchup and proclaimed:

"If anybody knows of any reason why these two ketchups should not be joined in holy condimony, let them speak now, or forever hold their mustard."

She laughed, other servers were unimpressed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Only1nDreams
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2014
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My FIL was talking about his catch-up 401-K

At dinner, my father in law was talking about how he has a catch-up 401K and can contribute extra each year. I told him to be careful and that he should maybe diversify with a mustard 401K as well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/piyoucaneat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2016
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I didn't want to add dijon to my sandwhich thinking it would be too spicy

But I mustard up the courage and did it anyway.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quenoquesoporque
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2015
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I don't fear condiments.

I relish them.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wilberfarce
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
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I gave my kid cheap deli meat for lunch

After eating a whole bunch, he said "I'm hungry" I replied, "you're full of balogna."

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yismeicha
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2015
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report

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