My friend told me he was going to pray to Cheesus, his lord and savor.

I told him I'd join him, but only if I could pray to Brieelzebub.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tackysackjones
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2017
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A Panda Walks into a Bar

A panda walks into a bar one day. He casually walks to the bar and sits on a bar stool.

The bartender thinks this is a bit odd, a panda walking into a bar isn’t something that normally happens to him.

He approaches the panda regardless and asks, β€œWhat can I get you?”

The panda grabs a menu off the bar, opens it and points to a cheeseburger.

The bartender is very impressed by this and so he decides to go ahead and make the cheeseburger for the panda.

The panda gets his cheeseburger, devours it, savoring every last bit. He then wipes its mouth with a napkin, impressing the bartender even more.

But then suddenly the panda pulls out a gun and shoots everyone in the bar, except for the bartender.

The bartender stands there in total shock, soaked in blood, and can only ask the panda, β€œWhy?”

The panda pulls a dictionary from his fur coat and turns to the bartender. He flips the book to the P section, places it on the bar, and points to his picture. Then he turns and walks out the door without looking back.

The bartender leans down and reads the entry next to Panda. It says…

β€œPanda: A wild animal that eats, shoots and leaves.”

πŸ‘︎ 98
πŸ‘€︎ u/Donorob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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I got a genuine laugh when I dad joked my wife and 9 year old son today. :) Wife: Do you know Trevor Wang?

Wife: "Do you know Trevor Wang?"

My 9 year old son Xavier: "You mean Trevor Wong? Yeah, he's a trouble maker."

Wife: "Trevor? No he's not, he's a good kid."

Me: "I think Xavier's right and Trevor's Wong."


I actually got a laugh. I'm gonna savor this time while my son still likes my dad jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/goconrad
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2014
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