Ought Puns

But, I've got too much on my plate at the moment.

I've always thought having good neighbors was important.

Turk-ish

My 14yo son drew this comic on his whiteboard, someone said I ought to post it here.

https://www.reddit.com/r/JakesDoorComics/comments/j2f29l/dad_joke_research_center/

When they remember the dead sea as just being a little sick.

Him: “You ought to try new things.” Me: “Illegal.” Him: “Sick bird.” Took me a long time to get.

I think we ought to make Delaware.

I said, "Mine's Phillips."

He said, "You ought to give it back to him."

And it ought to be your favourite, too! It really ought to be!

I replied: "We ought ta, man".

I said we ought to drive down to Georgia, but we also have to get back to where we live shortly thereafter.

Looks like it's going to be a turn and Bern.

There was once a boy named Lee, but he always wrote in the wrong tense. He would write 'is' for things that were, and 'was' for things that are. One day, after working for hours, he finally made a sentence in the way that it ought to be. His father was proud:

"You're writing in tense, Lee!"

Driving down a remote country road...

Wife: Hey, there is an otter over there!! (pointing out her window)

Me: Well I otter [ought to] go back and take a look!

Followed by a mixture of groans, facepalms, and slow clap from kids and wife.

Gf: wow I packed way too much deodorant.

Gfs dad (with ought skipping a beat): sounds like you have a big stinking problem

My twins got in the car yesterday and said, "Daddy, we need new shoes for gym."

I replied, "I don't know who Jim is, but I think you ought to tell him to get his own shoes."

"(Grocery Store) is closed because all their registers are down."

"Well, don'tcha think someone ought to go around and cheer them up?"

"He ought to get a job in an orchestra, he conducts so well"

Dad: Something is wrong with that song.

Me: Lauren says it is from Rent.

Me: It's about AIDS she says.

Dad: They ought to return it.

http://i.imgur.com/7lsPNQZ.jpg