I really ought to start losing weight...

But, I've got too much on my plate at the moment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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Excellent work, ought to be celebrated
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zuuuuzuuuu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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Whoever called the loops in malls with restaurants "food courts" missed a huge opportunity. They ought to be cul-de-snacks.
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Batshit_Betty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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Told my wife we ought to buy a house next to a horse farm.

I've always thought having good neighbors was important.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/magnalbatross
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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What do you call someone who is kind of from turkey

Turk-ish

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cytuit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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Dad Joke Research Center

My 14yo son drew this comic on his whiteboard, someone said I ought to post it here.

https://www.reddit.com/r/JakesDoorComics/comments/j2f29l/dad_joke_research_center/

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alanstanwyk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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How do you know a person is old?

When they remember the dead sea as just being a little sick.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iiPixel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2014
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I was in the car with my grandpa Talking to him at this is how that convo went

Him: β€œYou ought to try new things.” Me: β€œIllegal.” Him: β€œSick bird.” Took me a long time to get.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Clex_
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
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A small US state is trying to hack into a computer technology company's system.

I think we ought to make Delaware.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
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"What razor do you use?" my friend asked.

I said, "Mine's Phillips."

He said, "You ought to give it back to him."

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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"Overzealous" is my favourite word.

And it ought to be your favourite, too! It really ought to be!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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My wife said that we should get an ottoman so we can sit more comfortably in the family room.

I replied: "We ought ta, man".

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/craigers01
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2017
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My wife forgot to order her absentee ballot for Super Tuesday.

I said we ought to drive down to Georgia, but we also have to get back to where we live shortly thereafter.

Looks like it's going to be a turn and Bern.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gothmog1114
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2016
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About a boy named Lee

There was once a boy named Lee, but he always wrote in the wrong tense. He would write 'is' for things that were, and 'was' for things that are. One day, after working for hours, he finally made a sentence in the way that it ought to be. His father was proud:

"You're writing in tense, Lee!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingArhturII
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2014
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She saw an otter.

Driving down a remote country road...

Wife: Hey, there is an otter over there!! (pointing out her window)

Me: Well I otter [ought to] go back and take a look!

Followed by a mixture of groans, facepalms, and slow clap from kids and wife.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drewjy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2016
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In the car with gfs family going to vacation when,

Gf: wow I packed way too much deodorant.

Gfs dad (with ought skipping a beat): sounds like you have a big stinking problem

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Neathh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2014
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Jim's Shoes

My twins got in the car yesterday and said, "Daddy, we need new shoes for gym."

I replied, "I don't know who Jim is, but I think you ought to tell him to get his own shoes."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrCaret2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2013
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Saw this one on Facebook

"(Grocery Store) is closed because all their registers are down."

"Well, don'tcha think someone ought to go around and cheer them up?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rjdiego120
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2014
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Watching a show about a man who conducts massive amounts of electricity and my dad says this

"He ought to get a job in an orchestra, he conducts so well"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rdkra
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2014
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The high school choir was singing badly during graduation last night

Dad: Something is wrong with that song.

Me: Lauren says it is from Rent.

Me: It's about AIDS she says.

Dad: They ought to return it.

http://i.imgur.com/7lsPNQZ.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tickthegreat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2014
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