My date was supposed meet me at the gym but they didn't show up.
That's when I knew we weren't going to work out.
If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, all the other guests are supposed to pretend as if nothing happened.
Noble gases have no reaction.
If we're not supposed to eat at night...
Why do they put a light in a fridge?
I'm not supposed to eat anything too suite.
Eyelashes are supposed to keep things from getting into your eyes, but when I do have something in my eye it's almost always an eyelash...
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
How am I supposed to find the Big Apple?
I don’t even know where the Minneapolis!
The Guillotine was supposed to be ahead of its time
It had cutting edge technology
You know how when you find a Genie's lamp, you're supposed to rub it?
Does that mean when you find a Frog's lamp, you Ribbit?
Are you supposed to pull over for a funeral procession?
Of corpse, please come to a dead stop.
I was supposed to park on the east side of the lot...
...but I occidentally parked on the west
How are you supposed to keep Canadian bacon from curling?
You just need to take away their little brooms!
Joke from my great uncle: You know that movie "Constipation" that was supposed to come out this year?
I have no idea what to get now...am I supposed to get both?
You know your supposed to knock on the refrigerator door before you open it
Cuz there might be a salad dressing
I’m driving through England, and am supposed to stay in Greenwich for a day or two.
Not too sure what to do in the Mean Time.
TIL the Pentagon was supposed to be the Octagon.
But the contractor kept cutting corners.
I was supposed to go to a salt an pepa concert last week
Unfortunately, due to lockdown, they had to push it
My wife bought all these dog toys, but Scooter here isn’t quite sure what he’s supposed to do.
Couldn’t figure out when sunrise was supposed to be this morning
Luckily it finally dawned on me.
🤦🏻♂️
Got a big 12 pound brisket on the grill today, and several more dad jokes in the chamber.
Doin dad stuff.
Those patties made of chickpeas and spices are supposed to be healthy.
But whenever I make them I felafel.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
I thought we're supposed to isolate in order to "flatten the curve,"
but I'm only getting fatter.
-My dad
Why are you supposed to round to the nearest dollar on your tax returns?
Because the IRS has no cents.
Eduardo Moreno tried to crash his train into a Navy hospital ship to expose a supposed conspiracy
That’s a crime with a loco motive
What kind of fish are you supposed to eat when you are angry?
My son asked me why I was spinning in circles when I was supposed to be cleaning the keyboard...
Me: <receives phone notification> "Ooh, it's supposed to start raining in 2 minutes"
Wife: "It's sunny outside"
Me: <continuing> "...the rain will be light."
Ya know, I was supposed to be a doctor..
But I just didn’t have the patience for it
Mount Rushmore was supposed to have 5 presidents instead of 4 because...
The artist forgot to plan ahead.
Canada wan't originally supposed to have a C in it's name
But then they wanted anada letter
Why do people charge money for helium when it’s supposed to be free of charge?
A farmer’s convict son was supposed to be helping him with the chores. When he looked behind the barn, his son was asleep on the hay.
Have you been to the Chinese place on the corner? It's supposed to...
I was supposed to meet my girlfriend at the gym but she never showed
I guess we're not going to workout
I hear Argentina is supposed to be quite a cold country...
In fact, it's bordering on Chile
Did you hear they invented a new version of tennis that’s supposed to be harder?
I work at a grocery store and I accidentally dropped one of the eight cases of soda I was supposed to stock on the top shelf
NASA’s new rover, Insight, is supposed to tell us about Mars’ soil composition and about what’s underneath the surface of Mars..
So technically, Insight’s purpose is to give us insight about what’s not IN SIGHT
"I always forget: what are you supposed to call a monarch's children, again?"
What gender pronouns are you supposed to use on a chocolate bar
I am driving through England on a road trip, and I’m supposed to be in Greenwich tomorrow.
Not too sure what to do in the Mean Time.
I was supposed to go to a salt n pepa concert next week
Unfortunately, due to the coronavirus they had to push it
If Queen Elizabeth accidentally farts during dinner, the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened.
Noble gases should have no reaction
Eyelashes are supposed to prevent things from getting in your eyes but when I do have something in my eye, it's always an eyelash.
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