You thought other puns were bad?
so i saw some other puns like this and decided to make one myself. Enjoy :)
You thought other puns were bad? wait until you (sorry I dunno how to add text to images and i'm new to reddit)
You thought other puns were bad? Just wait until you sea mine
I appreciate the red-it logo for this subreddit, but with all the other puns here...
It seems as if they blue it.
[META] can the sidebar link to other pun-related subreddits, e.g. /r/punny?
Would be nice, it was a long time before I happuned to find /r/punny and I'm sure that there are a lot of others that I don't know about. Also /r/TomSwifties.
Two drunk guys were fighting. One of them drew a line in the dirt, and said if the other crossed it they would punch them in the face.
Text message conversation with my dad the other day, where I out-dadded him.
Dad: Give me your best knock knock joke. Or jokes. Do it when you can no rush.
Me: Does it have to be a knock knock joke or can it be any joke?
Dad: Knock Knock.
Me: Who’s there?
What do you call a person who eats other people slowly?
So I read a study the other day claiming that “humans eat more bananas than monkeys”
Which to me sounded a bit obvious. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
If there is one genre of music that raises me up on some days and gets me down other days
From my son: what did one eye say to the other eye?
Don't look now, but there's something between us that smells.
I've never been so proud
Two cats are having a swimming race. One is called “One Two Three”, the other “Un Deux Trois”. Which cat won?
“One Two Three” because “Un Deux Trois” cat sank.
two cannibals are eating a clown, when one says to the other...
"does this taste funny to you?"
Got a math assignment from my teacher the other day...
When I glanced over the assignment , I noticed one of the problems was missing.
I waved down the teacher, and he came over and said, "Everything looking good?"
I said, "I don't see a problem here."
He looked at me and said, "Great!" and walked away.
At a rest stop, the other day, a cop asked me why I was stroking the ground....
“Officer, the sign clearly says to ‘pet area.’”
What did the german bread say to the other german bread?
I was in the hotel lobby the other day when I heard 2 chess masters bragging about past wins.
They were chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
I’m a server and here’s a dad interaction I had the other day
Me, pointing at his food: Wanna box for that?
Random dad: No, but I’ll wrestle you for it.
Don't blame others for the road you're on in life.
A windmill asked the other windmill what his favorite type of music is.
The other windmill replied "I'm a big metal fan"
My teacher gave me some weak paper the other day
What did one sausage say to the other?
Bought a new muzzle for my pet duck the other day.
Nothing fancy, but it fits the bill.
How does two German car enthusiast cowboys greet each other?
How do German breads greet each other?
They say - Gluten Morgen!
What did one nut say while chasing the other nut?
I learned pregnant horses are faster than other female horses
They have double the horsepower
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Man I've got too many problems
I asked the dog the other day "How's life as a dog?"
How do Australian Bidets greet each other?
My daughter invented a writing instrument that never runs out of ink, never smudges and cures any other difficulties associated with writing...
What do you call it when Vanna White turns a letter other than a consonant?
Whst did the church mouse say to the other mice?
Have you accepted cheeses as your lord and saviour?
Doctor, help me! Sometimes I think I’m a Teepee and other times I think I’m a wigwam!
Doctor: obviously, you’re two tents
Scientists have observed that when one pizza delivery guy falls over, several others also fall over
This is known as the domino's effect.
What do you get when an alternating current and a direct current run into each other in a wire?
What is the other term for a queef?
Two burglars are robbing a liquor store. One turns to the other and asks "Is this whiskey" ?
The other replies, "Yeah, but not as wisky as wobbing a bank"
The other day I was on the dock talking to two of my neighbors… One of them had a cooler full of beers and snacks… Pulling out a beer pops the top and opening a bag of chips, he says “My wife’s an angel
I said, “you’re lucky – mine is still alive…”
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.. COMPLETE WASTE OF MONEY!
He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is”
This is a series of dad jokes that all relate to each other and form a dad joke story so bear with me.
How do you kill a blue elephant?
(How?)
With a blue elephant gun.
How you you kill a pink elephant?
(With a pink elephant gun?)
No, you hold its trunk til it turns blue then shoot it with the blue elephant gun
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
(No clue...?)
So they can hide in cherry trees
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
(Of course not)
Then clearly it works
Why don't eggs tell each other jokes?
. . . because they'd crack each other up!
I was at the park the other day
And I heard a bunch of yelling and grunting near the tennis court. I went over there and asked
"What's with all the racket?"
I was trying to give my son a lesson on averages the other day,
He stood up halfway through and said "Dad, I really don't know what you mean."
The other day I saw a large number of bread rolls moving rhythmically to music.
They were doing it in a-bun-dance.
I met a Jewish barista the other day...
What do you call a person who eats other people slowly?
What did the german bread say to the other german bread?
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