In honor of Mother’s Day, I’d just like to say,

β€œthank you for your cervix.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rusto_Dusto
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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My mom thanked me for coming to visit for Mother’s Day.

I said β€œthanks for having me.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sellwinerugs
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
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Mother's day joke, accidental but hilarious

I asked my husband if he knew any Italian words, He told me "My wife is bellissimo"

I told him, "That's beautiful"

Happy mother's day!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashrobin45
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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I forgot to make something for mother's day

So I made her angry

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πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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My kids came out of school and told my partner they have made cards for her for Mother's Day. I asked for a card, but they said I had to wait until Father's Day. I told my boy I had made a card for him, and he could have it the day after tomorrow,

on Sonday.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skilldan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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Kids and I are making burgers for my wife on Mother's Day....

I hope they meat her expectations

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whiskylover2121
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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Since it's Mothers Day weekend, I decided to make sure my wife woke up with a BIG SMILE on her face this morning...

Now I can't have Sharpies in the house anymore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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I told my dad, β€œDon’t forget tomorrow is Mother’s Day!”

Dad : Don’t forget it’s son day too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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I left it late to get a gift for my mum for Mother’s Day. Ended up at a petrol station. I bought her some Lorry Oil...

β€˜Cos she’s worth it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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I don’t know why I couldn’t convince my wife she would like the set of knives I made her for Mother’s Day.

I made several good points.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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Does anyone know where we find the handmade Mother's Day gifts the school sends out each year?

I checked my kids' backpacks like usual but they weren't there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Photog77
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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Mother’s and Father’s day only happens once every year

But Son day happens once every week

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EarlBoiBlue
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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Happy Father’s Day, mother f**kers!
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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Only once a year there's Mother's Day and Father's Day, ...

... but every week there's a sunday.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stgm_at
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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Mother-in-law is in Prison. Need a good prison pun for Mothers Day Card.

So the hardest part is it has to be uplifting/cute like all the other mothers day cards, can't just be a simple jail/robber pun.

So far I got:

You're ex-cell-ent mom!

I'd break into a maximom security prison for you!

Hope your mothers day is on point! (with a diagram of a shank)

^((But they're kind of trash))

Ideas from others:

Most people have a mother-in-law but I get to have a mother-outlaw! u/tcbst15

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vitamorior
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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My wife insists that she deserves an extra present this Mothers' day since she is the mum of our pet dog.

What a bitch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tinsilprincess
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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I'm getting this on mother's day
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meinkraft_man
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
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You may think the best gifts are given on Mother's Day, but Father's Day is usually a tie.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Picker-Rick
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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In honour of mother's day, I'm going to tell yo mama jokes

Because she's a sweet lady with a great sense of humour.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/extraflux
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2018
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What's another name for Mother's Day?

Labor Day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Peaches_inthe_sun
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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My mother has always been a staunch supporter of the LGBT movement. In fact, back in the 80s, she even told me that one day, β€œout and proud” people would have an entire month of celebration!

Mama said there’d be gays like this!

Happy Pride Month, y’all. :D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fuzzus628
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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I owe my mom a much better mother's day gift for this one

So I hear my niece running around in our house and also a dog running around with her and was immediately confused wondering why she and a dog were just running up and down the hallway. Then I went to see what was happening and she was playing fetch with the dog. So I asked my mom, "then why was she running? Is she simply so stupid that she throws a thing and tries to fetch it herself because for a second there she forgot whether she was the dog or the person?" To which my mom replied, "it wouldn't be farfetched. ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°) " ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/niji-ouji
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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My step mother who is suffering from insomnia got really mad at me the other day when I jokingly said to her that you're like my

stay-up mother.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pabesh17
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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What did the bee-mother say when coming home from a hard day at work and all her family is disregarding the table rules?

Why do you beehive like this?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jayjayjaxon
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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Dadjoked my dad during Mother 's Day Brunch

We had ordered mussels and were destroying them. We couldn't stop talking about how great they were.

Dad: "god damn I've had some good mussels in my life but these are amazing. I've got to remember to come here again."

Me: "Make sure to eat as many as you can."

Dad: "Why's that?"

Me, giggling: "Mussel memory."

groans from everyone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrIQy
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2014
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I know its Mothers Day but,

I got sent a bunch of flowers with all the heads cut off. I phoned the police and they said its sounds like i was being stalked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jamieF1604
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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In honor of Mother's Day...

I'd like to share a poem that my own dad wrote for his mom once upon a time:

M is for the many things she gave me.

O is for the other things she gave me.

T is for the things she gave me.

H is for her things she gave me.

E is for everything she gave me.

R is for the rest of the things she gave me.

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AVeryCredibleHulk
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2018
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Mothers day gift imgur.com/PJOQSzF
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JuxtaTerrestrial
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2015
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Mother's Day Dad Joke

I said something to tease my mom a bit and she goes:

"I'm going to put you back in my womb"

My response: "I don't think there's enough womb".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gravitationalBS
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2016
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I felt like giving my dad a kind reminder about mother's day...

https://imgur.com/a/BoHVUWe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/R4p354uc3
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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Mother's Day needs to be moved to a different day of the week

Why's it on Son Day?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/msoc
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2017
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Got hit with this one out of nowhere at the Mother's Day BBQ

Bf's dad: Did you know that every can of beans only has two hundred and thirty nine beans?

Me: Oh really?

Bf's dad: Yeah, if there were one more they'd be too farty.

...Didn't even see that one comin'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notthemonth
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2017
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Today isn't just mother's day

It's son-day as well

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FrostyTheKnight10
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2017
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Do dad jokes have to be puns? This is what I made for mother's day. One for my wife and one for my mom

https://imgur.com/a/kFtji

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_am_spoons
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2017
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Happy Mother F@ckers Day - me #padrejaja
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eriq6669
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2017
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Mother's Day

I was at the diner with my family on Mom's day. My step brother looks around the packed dining room and says, "Damn it's crowded in here!" to which I reply "Yeah, everyone and their mother is here today."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SalivatingMoron
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2014
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While driving my mom on Mother's Day

Context to the story: My mom is getting some work done in her backyard. Trees are being removed and they are digging to put an in ground pool in.

Story: Mom and I are driving back from an outing for Mother's Day. We are talking about the back yard and the work getting done.

Mom: When the pool gets put in I'll be dirt poor.

Me: But right now you're dirt rich!

Mom:look of disappointment

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πŸ‘€︎ u/balmung5000
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2016
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It was Mother's Day, long ago...

We were having cake to celebrate Mother's Day with my Mom. My Dad decides to ask us:

"Mom's pretty great. You know what she'd be called if she were president?"

"No."

"BABEraham Lincoln."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GuanYuber
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2014
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Help with puns for mother's day cards

I'm making Mothers day cards for my mother deli co-workers. I kind of have have an idea for one of them (http://imgur.com/3FKyto0) I want to play on deli themes.

Prima Della is one of the brands we use, others are Hormel, Charlie's Pride, Sara Lee, and Jenny O. In the deli we have a deep frier and hot case, meat/cheese slicers and make sandwiches/salads.

Any fun plays on words for any of those that would make a fun PG-PG13 card? Nothing too vulgar, I work with these ladies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SparkyDogPants
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2014
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Dadjoked on Mothers Day

Rang my mum up to wish her a Happy Mothers Day and Dad said he wanted to talk to me also. He opens with "Happy Son Day, get it Sunday haha". Commence the groaning...

Happy Mothers Day all!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tom0373
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2014
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My mom just told me, β€œ Don’t forget that tomorrow is Mother’s Day.”

I said, β€œRemember, it’s also son day.”

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
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Happy Father's Day all you mother f**kers out there!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tenyouken17
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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Dad Jokes for Mothers Day

http://imgur.com/Lphk8Ai

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TreborMAI
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2016
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