After a long hike to the top of a mountain, my wife asked me, β€œSo what do you think of The View?”

I said, β€œWhoopi Goldberg is ok, but I don’t like the other women on the show.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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Go on a glacier hike?!

Norway you’ll get me to do that

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotMetheThree
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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A woman starting a hike at the Grand Canyon asked me how the trail was as I reached the top

I said β€œit’s all downhill from here!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ATexanHobbit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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I saw a cougar on a hike last weekend.

I nearly puma pants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/malker84
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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What’s the best music to listen to on a hike

A trail mix

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greatreference
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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Why did Ceaser go on a hike?

Because he wanted to Rome

Edit: fixed typo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnknownFor3818
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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I went on a 20 mile hike the other day

It was a soul-crushing experience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aok76
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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I think my friend who owns the apiary got into some poison ivy or something during a hike in the woods...

He has hives.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
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I was going to take a hike in the woods today but realized tick season is starting

and I like my Corona without Lyme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/themissamos
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
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Two people went on a hike and came across some tracks. One argued they were foxes and the other said they were a deers

They were still arguing when the train hit them tho 🚞

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eoghanr888
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
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I hike most mornings, so I went ahead and made a playlist with music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.

It's my trail mix

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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I invented a athletic shoe company called Hikes, but everyone leaves my store before trying them on.

I don't get it, I've just been telling them to take a Hike.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MightyOtaku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
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I went out on a hike with my friend and right when we set up we saw the heaviest downpour we had ever seen.

It was intense, just like how we were camping.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CthuluOfficial
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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My girlfriend "Dad joked" me on a hike.

I asked my girlfriend what she thought trees would sound like if they talked while on a hike.

She said "I bet we couldn't understand them"

I said "why do you think that?"

She said "because they probably only bark"

She then laughed the next half mile down the trail barking occasionally and saying "shh, shh, do you hear that? Thats a tree talking in the distance"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ARazzy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2014
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The hikes in Yellowstone are too easy.

They're a walk in the park.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KarateChop231
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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After hearing about just how great going for a hike was, I must agree...

It was truly the peak of my day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mulms
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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Girlfriend dadjoked me on a hike

We were right below the flight path of the major airport in the area because there was a plane that was fairly close to the ground. So I said "I wonder why they are flying so low?" to which she responds "I don't think so, they probably have more than one passenger." I stare at her... she goes "So low? Solo?" I laughed and groaned. She will make a great dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/McSippy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2014
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I went for a hike to watch the sunrise and saw a group of young deer frolicking in the morning mist.

It was a fawn dew party.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PunnedItPundit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2018
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My friend was telling me about her hike and I asked her if the views were nice.

She said 'pretty decent.'

I responded 'What about the ascent?'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/loyalantar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
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I took a hike to the backcountry of Finland...

and arrived in dorsal Fin-land.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aith8rios
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2018
🚨︎ report
On a hike today the mosquitoes were relentless

They were really out for blood.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tommy290
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2018
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I have a backpack that lets me drink water while I hike. I've been debating returning it, but decided to give it another go. Yesterday I put a new straw in it, and now the straw is completely stuck and the backpack is unusable. I'm definitely returning it now.

It was the straw that broke the CamelBak.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OPs_Mom_and_Dad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2017
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Our family went on a long hike, and our youngest son kept slipping and falling. My wife comforted him, saying, "Don't worry, honey, after we get through this snowy part it's all cake after that." "Don't believe a word she says," I interjected...

"There's no cake, it's all just rocks and dirt."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cronenberg_C137
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
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What did the introverted monk say to his friends when they invited him out of the temple for a hike?

Nah, I'ma stay.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sabett
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2017
🚨︎ report
My buddy Mark and I just got back from a great hike, but we can't go back...

Because now it's an un-Marked trail.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/binaryfruit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2013
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Rain on a hike can really...

...put a damper on things.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KevinDaellenbach
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2015
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Today while on a steep upslope during a hike my son was walking up the shale rock beside the path with some difficulty. In frustration he shouted, "Why am I doing this?" And I responded...

"Well, recently didn't you say you wanted to live a bolder life?" Zing!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2016
🚨︎ report
Went on a family hike to a waterfall today in Hawaii,

My wife was taking a picture of the falls and I walked up behind her and asked "water you looking at?" Face palm and eye roll both. In fact a couple next to us overheard and also face palmed #winning

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πŸ‘€︎ u/8urgermeister
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2016
🚨︎ report
Hike Who?
  • Knock Knock!
  • Who's there?
  • Hike!
  • Hike Who?
  • "No one at the door. The grisly truth is out now: You are all alone."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wazman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2014
🚨︎ report
Father-in-law got us good before a hike

We were getting ready to go hiking around Mt. Rainier, and were hanging out in a large tent my wife's grandparents had set up. Her younger brother tried turning on a light hanging from the ceiling of the tent, but it wasn't plugged in. My Father-in-law looked at him seriously and said "looks like you'll need to plug it in to a currant bush."

Cue groans and eye rolls from everyone. At least I was able to appreciate the beauty of a quick-witted dad joke.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2015
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Went Hiking today, and the kids asked " How was the hike?"

"Meh - It was okay. It had its ups and downs."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/noboatfred
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad joked while on a hike.

"Hey, son, want to hear a joke?" "Sure, dad!" "This rock is gneiss."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/therealbanjoben
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2015
🚨︎ report
got my sister on a hike today

We are hiking this mountain, has been really nice weather when the wind suddenly picks up in force.

sis. "Where the hell does that wind come from!?"

me. point in general direction of where the wind comes from "From there"

The expression on her face told me that I might experience some sort of "accident" later on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hitno
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2014
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