In case you're feeling crummy.
I was feeling depressed. So my wife put her hand on my shoulder and said "Earth."
That meant the world to me.
I'm here is Scotland and quarantine has me feeling all out of sorts...
And there is nothing worse for a Scot than being off kilter.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
My therapist just told me that I'm completely incapable of expressing my feelings.
Did you hear the alcoholic skydiver is feeling unwell
He's coming down with a cold one
Today I asked my dad how he was feeling. He said ‘like a car’
"Doctor, I've been feeling like a pig."
"How long have you feeling like that for?"
"OH!!!! About a weeeeeeek"
Feeling ugly? Work at a bee sanctuary and start helping the world! Everyone will think you are beautiful for that
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
I'm feeling horrible that I pulled into the sausage store
I took a turn for the wurst
Feeling excluded, my toddler asked me to stop spelling out words while he was around.
How did the archaeologist know that Cleopatra wasn't feeling well?
I was at my hotel in Spain and wasn't feeling well.
Reception said they had a doctor on staff.
The doctor asked me lots of questions and I was then feeling much better.
I told reception I didn't expect a hotel would have a doctor on staff
They said it was a Spanish Inn Physician
COVID has me feeling really disturbed.
I am not Down with the Sickness
I was feeling tense so my girlfriend sent me a .gif to help.
If you are feeling lonely during the Covid lockdown, why not buy some shares?
It’s always nice to have a bit of company.
My iguana isn’t feeling well
I hate having a reptile dysfunction.
How do the Japanese say farewell when feeling blue?
I can't help this feeling...
My young son and I were having our first discussion about drugs. He was curious about why people would do drugs in the first place, and I told him that many people do it because it produces different feelings of euphoria. He asked, "what's euphoria?" I told him that it was hard to explain...
But it's a feeling somewhere between euthreeia and eufiveia.
If you're feeling unsure of who you are...
https://preview.redd.it/refjtnw55sm51.jpg?width=2480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f3ceee6f8ac7217251280d77204f9efd653364b8
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
How does poop keep track of it’s thoughts and feelings?
Diary-uh or a log. Depends how sappy...
My wife was feeling frisky and said "lets have sex."
I said "I can get behind you on that."
I always had a feeling that my son would grow up to be a pyromaniac.
He always had the burning desire.
I have a feeling thistle be going on for hours...
My son was rejected from Indiana University. Feeling persistent, he asked me if he should call one of the advisors and plead for admission.
I told him beggars can’t be Hoosiers.
I was at the lake, and I had a really bad feeling about the dock.
Whenever I can't work because of lack of connectivity, I get a warm fuzzy feeling
My son told me he is feeling kinda chilly
I told him to go to the corner of the room
He asked why
It's 90 degrees
This would leave me feeling emotionally tired
A man goes to the doctor because he has been feeling sick for weeks
The doctor examines him, sprinkles salt and spices on him and just like that, he's cured.
I have a feeling that there is something wrong with my Braille book.
I can’t quite put my finger on it.
My wife was feeling frisky in bed and asked if she could defile me
To which I replied: But what if I like being filed?
Why is the moon feeling less popular?
There’s no buzz around it.
I have mixed feelings about graphs.
The x and y axes are pretty cool but not the plot itself. That’s where I draw the line.
Feeling overwhelmed? Don't worry!
My grandfather's in hospice, Dad asked him "how are you feeling?"
With my hands.
OG dad joker till the end. Love you Grandfather.
Jesus was known to be a carpenter, but I've always gotten the feeling that he would make a great attorney.
He was quite the cross-examiner.
Ash won’t be in EVIL dead 4! Know what I’m feeling?
My therapist just told me that I’m completely incapable of expressing my feelings.
How do the Japanese say farewell when feeling blue?
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I’m nervous she won’t be able to pull it off.
My therapist just told me that I’m incapable of verbalizing my feelings.
Can’t say that I’m surprised.
My wife claims she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I’m worried she won’t be able to pull it off.
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