What did the Democratic House Representative say when asked how they were feeling today?
Did you hear the alcoholic skydiver is feeling unwell
He's coming down with a cold one
Feeling ugly? Work at a bee sanctuary and start helping the world! Everyone will think you are beautiful for that
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
How did the archaeologist know that Cleopatra wasn't feeling well?
I'm feeling horrible that I pulled into the sausage store
I took a turn for the wurst
If you are feeling lonely during the Covid lockdown, why not buy some shares?
It’s always nice to have a bit of company.
My young son and I were having our first discussion about drugs. He was curious about why people would do drugs in the first place, and I told him that many people do it because it produces different feelings of euphoria. He asked, "what's euphoria?" I told him that it was hard to explain...
But it's a feeling somewhere between euthreeia and eufiveia.
How do the Japanese say farewell when feeling blue?
My son was rejected from Indiana University. Feeling persistent, he asked me if he should call one of the advisors and plead for admission.
I told him beggars can’t be Hoosiers.
I was at the lake, and I had a really bad feeling about the dock.
A man goes to the doctor because he has been feeling sick for weeks
The doctor examines him, sprinkles salt and spices on him and just like that, he's cured.
Why is the moon feeling less popular?
There’s no buzz around it.
Jesus was known to be a carpenter, but I've always gotten the feeling that he would make a great attorney.
He was quite the cross-examiner.
I was feeling a little depressed, and then I saw a clown doing sit-ups across the street.
Funny how things work out.
I bet the scale is feeling a little under the weather
My father had the uncanny ability to know which way the wind blew by feeling his jugular...
`It was his weather vein.
If you are feeling lonely during the lockdown, try buying a few shares from the financial market.
Then you’ll have a little bit of company.
I have the weirdest feeling...
... that this joke about déjà vu might be a repost.
Why did the girl catch feelings for the mushroom?
Because he was a pretty fungi
Feeling cold? Go stand in the corner
My dad said the other day, when I was feeling low, 'don't worry it could be worse, you could be in a hole full of water'
Do you ever get the feeling of Déjà-vu?
Do you ever get the feeling of Déjà-vu?
If you're feeling under the weather, spend a night in a smokehouse.
You'll be cured in no time.
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
I was feeling under the weather when I got my prostate exam. When the heavy set doctor stepped out..
I said... “Wow, that’s a meaty urologist!” 😎🤓
A boy was feeling very nervous about his first date, so went to his father for advice. "My son, there are three subjects that always work with women: food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they stare at each other for a long time...
The boy's nervousness builds, but he then asks, "Do you like potato pancakes?"
"No," comes the answer and the silence returns like a suffocating blanket.
"Do you have a brother?"
"No."
After giving it some thought, the boy plays his last card, "If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?"
If you are ever feeling like you don’t know your place in the universe, just remember: You and the universe came from the same thing
Feeling under the weather.
The other day, I tried to get a water feeling reptile that smoked weed back to its home, but it attacked me.
I'm not good with crock pots.
“I love the feeling when I can make people open up to me.”
I found a nickel on the ground today and I have a feeling I’m going to find a penny later.
I’m feeling worried about the new year.
I think I have some auld langxiety.
If you see a pretty woman and your hands start to shake, you become weak in the knees, and you develop a warm feeling in your chest...
Go to bed. You've got the flu.
Feeling a little low, I decided to peruse the local record shop for a new addition to my music collection.
Drifting down the alphabetised rock section, nothing really appealed to me from A-M. Disappointed, I moved around to the other side of the rack when suddenly I felt uplifted, content and at one with the universe.
I had reached Nirvana.
Why was the wrinkled shirt feeling so fatigued?
Because it wasn’t getting enough iron.
The feeling that you've seen something before
Why couldn’t the water express its feelings?
Because it was all bottled up.
I have a very good feeling about my job interview today. The manager said they were looking for somebody responsible.
“You’ve found your man,” I responded, “whenever there was a problem in my last job, they always said that I was responsible!”
My wife said "I'm not feeling well." I walked over, gently grabbed her by the arms and said...
"I don't know what you're talking about- you feel just fine to me."
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
The man who has lost his sense of feeling is going mad
He is going out of touch with reality
How do the Japanese say farewell when feeling blue?
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
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