Why do I feel healthy on Saturdays and Sundays, and so sickly for all the other days ?

Maybe, I just have a weekend immune system.

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
i'm beginning to feel like a pun god
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ooopd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I feel bad for toilets

They go through a lot of shit

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/super-effingnova
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I feel strong peel pressure when all my friends start eating bananas.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deoxys14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
When I woke up from an operation, the nurse leaned over and said, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."

So I fondled her boobs.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
A man woke up in the hospital after a serious accident, the man yelled "DOCTOR! DOCTOR, I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!"

The doctor then replied "i know, i amputated your arms."

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CreepyPastaKing1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I feel like this meme fits in here.
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't you feel anything for a pretty girl named anne?

Because all you get is the Anne Aesthetic

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rossdabose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
A guy wakes up in hospital and screams, "Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs."

Doctor replies, "Of course not, I've cut off your arms."

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
A man went to the doctor’s and told him, β€œI feel like such a failure. All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up.”

He said, β€œWow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I watched Bohemian Rhapsody three times in a row, and now I feel a little sick.

It must be the high Mercury content.

πŸ‘︎ 315
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I had pain my knees, but with the help of my doctor, I feel better.

It was a joint effort.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/refward
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Ever Since 2020 It Just Feels Wrong That...

"Every Breath You Take" is a song by a band called The Police.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OranMilne
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
A fly feels a bug on it's back. "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"

"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.

"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.

"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains!

Well just calm down and pull yourself together.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robjmcm
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the pilot feel insecure?

His job was always up in the air.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fizzmore
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you feel like your hearing the same song over and over again

DJ vu

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KrazyKoen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you feel that r/puns should have a feature where someone posts an image and everyone tries to makes puns about it(the image) in the comment section?
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stormbreaker636
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Feel free to help punctuate.

Guess who I ran into at the White House restaurant today Donald Duck He was engaging the cashier who was asking for a tip Do you know what he says Put it on my bill

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/home_nee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I don’t know how I feel about internet speeds

It has its Ups and its Downs

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anchorboiii
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I feel numb looking at odd numbers which makes me even number..
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shivraj234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I feel bad for fizzy drink bottles

Their life is soda pressing.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a T-Rex feel after working out?

Kindasoar.

Boyfriend told me this after we discussed our workout today πŸ₯²

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MinxKitty
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I feel kinda stupid and kinda proud for coming up with this (drawing on a phone is hard)
πŸ‘︎ 207
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πŸ‘€︎ u/no_tak
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My WhatsApp emojis asked me how I feel

I told them I am very smiley today

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoBody3336
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I feel the most confident telling chemistry jokes

I’m in my element when I do

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a situation when you don't feel like digging holes anymore?

Bored to bore

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saswata1194
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the worm feel after getting cut in half?

He was beside himself

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wyatt1313
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I learned about these people in history class last month I feel smart
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/piano_043
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I feel bad for pet rocks sometimes....

Why do people take rocks for granited?

I just hope mine doesn't dieorite.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whoisapotato
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
You can tell how people feel about your jokes by how they treat your gate.

If they leave it alone, they like your jokes. If they steal it, they've taken a fence.

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MakeMeADonut
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
As a leper, I feel like I’m falling apart.

I just lost my left leg.

Edit: now my right leg.

Edit: now my left arm.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m at school and I feel the urge to use the bathroom

Me: teacher can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: it’s may Me: no it’s not, it’s December

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I feel sorry for girls in wheelchairs

Their boyfriends are always pushing them around and talking behind their backs.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I feel sorry for my math teacher.

He’s always looking for his x, and when he isn’t he’s asking y.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I feel like if my family and friends were selecting the epitaph for my tombstone they would go with "He meant well."

Especially if my last words were "Help! I fell in the wall!"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bleacher_seat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Wife after the gym: "Ugh I can't feel my arms"

reaches out and touches her arm "Oh that's ok, I'll feel them for you!"

Anyways I'm divorced now.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeachPeachMcgee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
English puns make me feel numb

But math puns make me feel number

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OoRicky92oO
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently found out my wiener doesn’t work anymore. I decided to have a funeral since it’s pretty much dead now. My sweet wife asked if anything would make me feel better.

I replied, Perhaps mourning would...

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/legendary-jake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Some puns are so bad, when I hear them I feel numb

When I hear a math pun, I feel number

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AWasayAsim
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I feel like this year was all about butts and twerking

You know what they say, hindsight is 2020

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nee316
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the plum feel so sad inside?

It was the pits

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.

It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlessedBigIron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do dolphins feel inadequate sometimes?

They lack porpoise

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Feel the betrayal.
πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tinyarmyoverlord
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctor, I can't feel my legs!

I know, I've cut off your arms!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/soaraf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I watched Bohemian Rhapsody three times in a row, and now I feel a little sick.

Must be the high Mercury content.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
🚨︎ report

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