Why do I feel healthy on Saturdays and Sundays, and so sickly for all the other days ?
Maybe, I just have a weekend immune system.
i'm beginning to feel like a pun god
I feel bad for toilets
They go through a lot of shit
I feel strong peel pressure when all my friends start eating bananas.
When I woke up from an operation, the nurse leaned over and said, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."
A man woke up in the hospital after a serious accident, the man yelled "DOCTOR! DOCTOR, I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!"
The doctor then replied "i know, i amputated your arms."
I feel like this meme fits in here.
Why can't you feel anything for a pretty girl named anne?
Because all you get is the Anne Aesthetic
A guy wakes up in hospital and screams, "Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs."
Doctor replies, "Of course not, I've cut off your arms."
A man went to the doctor’s and told him, “I feel like such a failure. All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up.”
He said, “Wow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”
I watched Bohemian Rhapsody three times in a row, and now I feel a little sick.
It must be the high Mercury content.
I had pain my knees, but with the help of my doctor, I feel better.
Ever Since 2020 It Just Feels Wrong That...
"Every Breath You Take" is a song by a band called The Police.
A fly feels a bug on it's back. "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"
"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.
"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.
"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "
Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains!
Well just calm down and pull yourself together.
Why did the pilot feel insecure?
His job was always up in the air.
What do you call it when you feel like your hearing the same song over and over again
Do you feel that r/puns should have a feature where someone posts an image and everyone tries to makes puns about it(the image) in the comment section?
Feel free to help punctuate.
Guess who I ran into at the White House restaurant today Donald Duck He was engaging the cashier who was asking for a tip
Do you know what he says
Put it on my bill
I don’t know how I feel about internet speeds
It has its Ups and its Downs
I feel numb looking at odd numbers which makes me even number..
I feel bad for fizzy drink bottles
Their life is soda pressing.
How does a T-Rex feel after working out?
Kindasoar.
Boyfriend told me this after we discussed our workout today 🥲
I feel kinda stupid and kinda proud for coming up with this (drawing on a phone is hard)
My WhatsApp emojis asked me how I feel
I told them I am very smiley today
I feel the most confident telling chemistry jokes
I’m in my element when I do
What do you call a situation when you don't feel like digging holes anymore?
How did the worm feel after getting cut in half?
I learned about these people in history class last month I feel smart
I feel bad for pet rocks sometimes....
Why do people take rocks for granited?
I just hope mine doesn't dieorite.
You can tell how people feel about your jokes by how they treat your gate.
If they leave it alone, they like your jokes. If they steal it, they've taken a fence.
As a leper, I feel like I’m falling apart.
I just lost my left leg.
Edit: now my right leg.
Edit: now my left arm.
I’m at school and I feel the urge to use the bathroom
Me: teacher can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: it’s may
Me: no it’s not, it’s December
I feel sorry for girls in wheelchairs
Their boyfriends are always pushing them around and talking behind their backs.
I feel sorry for my math teacher.
He’s always looking for his x, and when he isn’t he’s asking y.
I feel like if my family and friends were selecting the epitaph for my tombstone they would go with "He meant well."
Especially if my last words were "Help! I fell in the wall!"
Wife after the gym: "Ugh I can't feel my arms"
reaches out and touches her arm "Oh that's ok, I'll feel them for you!"
Anyways I'm divorced now.
English puns make me feel numb
But math puns make me feel number
I recently found out my wiener doesn’t work anymore. I decided to have a funeral since it’s pretty much dead now. My sweet wife asked if anything would make me feel better.
I replied, Perhaps mourning would...
Some puns are so bad, when I hear them I feel numb
When I hear a math pun, I feel number
I feel like this year was all about butts and twerking
You know what they say, hindsight is 2020
Why did the plum feel so sad inside?
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
Why do dolphins feel inadequate sometimes?
Doctor, I can't feel my legs!
I know, I've cut off your arms!
I watched Bohemian Rhapsody three times in a row, and now I feel a little sick.
Must be the high Mercury content.
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