Even crime has time for puns (credit to the author, extrafabulouscomics)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirChemi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Even took me a while ngl..
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Un_FaZed211
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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Even Batman has tough days
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schemesymcplots
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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Eight days in and this year looks like it might be as bad as last year. Possibly even worse. If it does turn out worse, well, you know what they say...

Hindsight is 2020!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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My wife has been complaining that I don’t buy her flowers. Tbh I don’t even know she started selling flowers.

Couldn’t post it earlier. Doing dishes, making everyone’s bed, taking trash and all the other household chores ate up all my evening.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shishir-nsane
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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Schools today are serious about keeping sickness away. They even sent the espresso home today.

Because it was a little coffee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheStateOfMantana
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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I just had a new wash basin delivered to our house for our guest bathroom, but my wife decided that she hates the design so much she won't even let me bring it in off the porch. It has been sitting by our front door for a week, A ENTIRE WEEK.

Let that sink in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobotPreacher
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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I feel numb looking at odd numbers which makes me even number..
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shivraj234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Why is my stud finder constantly going off even when it isn't touching the wall?

Oh wait... I'm holding it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ndisa44
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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An man at a bar didn’t want his wife to know he was out all night. But he was so drunk he couldn’t even stand and had to crawl all the way back home on all fours.

He got home he reached up for the door knob and opened the door, crawled upstairs and into his bed with his wife. His wife in the morning said β€œWhy were you out all night?” He said β€œHow did you find out?”

She said β€œThe bar called. They said you left your wheelchair again”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeGoHungaBunga
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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Don't even try it.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shakezilla
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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Where do we even store these dad jokes?

In the dadabase

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πŸ‘€︎ u/funtimechuck14
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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I can’t believe that even after 15 years, I would still hear people making β€œFriends” references.

No one told me life was gonna be this way.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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My one friend told me that even though I decorate the church for the holidays...

I probably shouldn't go around calling myself a proud cross dresser.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OranMilne
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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Patel was teaching a boy named Ed basic geometry, which he was failing to grasp even on the most basic levels. He mistook squares for triangles, circles for hexagons and so on...

So Patel tried to go to the lowest level and put a dot on the paper.

"What this, Ed?"

"A line?" the boy replied.

"I... I expected more from you. I'm... This a point, Ed."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alkaath
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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Do degrees even matter as long as the person gets the job done?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vignesh_shankar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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I don't think the author even realized what they did! Context: the article is about killer whales attacking boats.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Comanch3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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Even if Autocorrect changes "Fuck" to "Duck"...

...Its still considered fowl language

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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The political climate is so polarizing these days that even Do, Re and Mi decided to form their own independent left leaning musical scale and vote Democratic.

When questioned they just stated they were now Anti Fa.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BLT5000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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If you add an "s" to the word "even",

it becomes odd.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/H_G_Bells
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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My wife and I saw our first sonogram today, even though we have two kids already

The previous ones were daughterograms.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zireael-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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And I'm not even a dad!

This actually just happened!!!

I was driving my 14yo home, and I was complaining because I recently hurt my shoulder.

Me: Ow, my shoulder is trash

Him: Maybe you'll have to amputate your arm

Me: That wouldn't help because I'd still have a stump to waive around. They'd have to amputate it at the shoulder.

Him: They wouldn't really do that, would they?

Me: Yep

Him: Baloney

Me: No, that would be down here and pointed to my shin

Then he started crying :-) I can die happy now!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/impostershop
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Johnny Depp has lost his case against The Sun newspaper even with evidences

Hard to win if Amber is Heard and Johnny is not

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryonnsan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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We had a party for our office supplies today. We even invited the invisible ink.

It didn't show up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Westerfield
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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I like all cheeses, those blue ones, those aged ones, even those sliced ones...

but why does Trump want to make America grate again??????/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/piggysam
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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My friend keeps asking me if I’ll help him build a dock behind his lake house, even though I keep telling him β€œno.”

Honestly, I’m feeling a lot of pier pressure.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tvkyle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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Wow! China really love Biden! They even named a crucial landmark after him! /r/Jokes/comments/jokjk1/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ekintelli
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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As a single dad money can be tight. But even when I’m on a date and I know I’m not attracted to her, I still like to get the door for her and let her walk through. It makes her feel appreciated.

And it makes it easier to slam the door and run so I don’t have to pay for dinner.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skullchin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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Seven has "even" in it.

That's odd.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dimer0
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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Once I was so dehydrated, I couldn’t even remember all the letters in the English alphabet.

I went ABCDEFG and then PQRSTUVWXYZ. I was missing H to O.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keychainoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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Me after my dad made a bad joke: Dad, that joke doesnt even work.

Dad: Thats because it was an unemployed dad joke.

He then revealed he got fired from his job.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emrakull
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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My friend decided he wants to be a podiatrist even though I tried to talk him out of it.

I guess he's put his foot down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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My wife said "you arent even listening to me are you" /r/Jokes/comments/ic5juq/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AutoCrosspostBot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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What do corals even get stressed about?

Current events

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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Crows are very intelligent birds, they even go out for drinks from time to time.

It's called the crowbar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashnakag3019
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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Why does Barbie look so young even though she was born in the fifties?

Plastic surgery

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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I'm surprised to find myself working at NASA even though i never graduated high school.

Someone had to clean the toilets and keep the place clean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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Even on Sundays
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HueyLameass
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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A priest was getting very annoyed with his young parishioners during dinner time and said if they continued misbehaving even the cutlery would be punished.

One boy said to another: "What? the fork in hell?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atheistmil
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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Don't even think about challenging my French butter sauce...

You will roux the day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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there wasent even a quadro
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ender-slayerYT
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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A woodcutter once decided to build his own motor bike. He used wood for the frame, wood for the engine, wood for the brakes, and even a wooden gas tank.

Did he ride it? No. It wooden start

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_methematician
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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I was just sitting on the couch when my friend tells me, β€œyour not even listening to me.”

I thought that’s a very weird way to start a conversation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrimLegend5331
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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Didn't even leave the first.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nahianuzumaki
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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I can’t believe that even after 15 years of the show ending, people are still making β€œFriends” references.

No one told me life was gonna be this way.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
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