My mate had a combined Burns Night and Chinese New Year party he called Chinese Burns Night

I wasn't going to go, but he twisted my arm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/localgasgiant
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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What did Mr T say on Chinese New Year?

I pity the 福

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πŸ‘€︎ u/izzydoesizzy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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The Chinese New Year is next week and the year of the dog begins.

I hope it won't be too rough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/avneis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
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A Chinese New Year Salutation: dadjoke edition.

In honour of the year of the horse:

Kung 'neigh' fat choi!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fubarite
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2014
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Not a joke say but a good prank my dad pulls.

Years ago my dad got his ring finger torn off, so now all he has is a little stub.

So now when he meets new people he puts ketchup on it and puts a Chinese finger trap on. He walks up to them and puts on a flustered face. When they tell him he needs to "push together" he replies with "don't be stupid that won't work!"

He then proceeds to yank his finger out.....that's my dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zeppelinofled
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2013
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My brother dad joked me this morning

Brother: Did you know it's the year of the horse in the Chinese New year?

Me: Yep

Brother: Did you know that people born in the year of the horse are usually pretty sad?

Me: No? Why's that?

Brother: Because they have long faces.

I should have seen that one coming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eg85911
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2014
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First Impressions

So this was a few years back for me and I best give a bit of background info: I was in the beginning of a new relationship with a girl, in my late teens . We were both at the same bording school, so I had to ask permission from her parents and my parents if she'd be allowed to come visit for weekend and all that. Got all the permissions sorted out, and planned a dinner at a chinese place. My dad and step mum came along for the ride, along with my sister.

Now, my dad has a weakish bladder and went to the toilet upon entering the restaurant. Upon emptying his bladder, he announced to us "There was a penny in the toilet. Now there is Two Pee."

I groaned, my sister rolled her eyes and my step mum nearly killed him. My then girlfriend was just mortified (first time she'd met my dad).

At the end of the meal, my dad went to the toilet again. This time he came out with a 2p coin in a tissue, drying it. My then girlfriend was just looked at me as if to say "you're father is mental how are you sane."

I pointed out to my dad the flaw in his trick, stating he'd said it was a penny, not a 2p coin. I think my step mum hit him shortly after he dropped me off at my mum's...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Liquidbambam93
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2014
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Happy Chinese New Year!

Or as they say in China, Happy New Year!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Incromulent
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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