Cow-culus.
(Courtesy of my 10 year old.)
The farmer's wife said "300 times, isn't that wonderful, dear? Maybe you should watch him. Maybe he'll show you how..." The farmer replied "Yeah, he's a hell of a bull, but it wasn't all with the same cow."
IT DROWNED.
You unplug it!
He was a dumb bass
Cause they have beef
The bartender looks at him and says, “You must be here for a cognac.”
Not sure !! But when it megabytes, it megahertz.
Take away its credit card.
I've two bulls who just love to fight //
they simply cannot be polite //
Just one needs to breed //
and so I'll proceed //
to castrate the weak one tonight
The procedure is safe, I insist //
if we make the blood flow desist //
to make bleeding halt //
do the "ball somersault" //
and give that whole sack a huge twist
To do this requires no skill //
I'll just need a quite large power-drill //
and a specialized clamp //
to hold on to that champ //
then turn it on fast- what a thrill!
It is clear this device should appeal //
to those who need bulls with less zeal //
I shall name this device //
with a drill and a vise //
the most perfect of names: "Steering Wheel!"
Because they go when the stop light is red!
(Sorry if this was bad)
Deer testicles are usually under a buck!
“Bison”
A pit bull bites the hand that feeds it, while a hot dog feeds the hand that bites it.
The bull insistent on having sex until the female cow replied.
“ Honey I’m not in the moood.”
I uh I’m gonna go now.
He's breaking all sorts of records.
I recently spent $46,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.
Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day. The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine!
I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ...but they kind of taste like peppermint.
It would've created a parrot-ox.
He replied, “That’s an Ox, fam”
He went “Baaa” I went “Moooo” He said ok you start.
..It's the hidden charges you have to watch out for.
... he picked it up carefully with his trunk and peered at the little window with a racing heart...
Positive! ... Brenda was pregnant!
OMG... fear, excitement, shock... and yet more worrying "why hasn't she told me?"
A hundred scenarios raced through his head, his ears trembling, his trunk twitching as each played out...
Finally he calmed... maybe she was waiting for the right moment to tell him the news?
He chose to be patient... he watched her carefully the whole day, carefully avoiding anything that might show that he knew... but Bethany gave no hints whatsoever.
Several days went by, and he grew more and more anxious.
Finally, he could take it no longer...
"Bethany..." he said
"It's time we discussed the elephant in the womb".
I always see Himalayan there.
I don't know how you can sleep at night.
I don’t know how they sleep at night
"Cuz we bulls wobble but we don't fall down."
A bull dozer.
(As told by a 9 year old)
Look underneath and if it ain’t one thing, it’s an udder.
I don’t know how they sleep at night.
A pit bull.
It’s the hidden charges you have to watch out for.
I don’t know how they can sleep at night.
I don’t know how he sleeps at night
