A local town (Bulls, New Zealand) has signs with bull puns scattered across the town at points of interest.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SerialMasticator
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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Bull’s eye
πŸ‘︎ 122
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matty0five
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
🚨︎ report
What's a bull's favorite subject?

Cow-culus.

(Courtesy of my 10 year old.)

πŸ‘︎ 170
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πŸ‘€︎ u/talin342
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Someone randomly dropped off a bull in my neighbor’s yard, but animal control picked it up before she got home.

She would have had a cow.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
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The farmer had a prized bull. It bred 300 times per year.

The farmer's wife said "300 times, isn't that wonderful, dear? Maybe you should watch him. Maybe he'll show you how..." The farmer replied "Yeah, he's a hell of a bull, but it wasn't all with the same cow."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prumbeljack
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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I saw a butterfly on the ground with no wings, so I poured Red Bull all over it.....And Bam !!!!

IT DROWNED.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
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How do you stop a bull from charging?

You unplug it!

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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Why’d the fish swim right into the bull shark’s mouth?

He was a dumb bass

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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Why was the cow mad at the bull

Cause they have beef

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Forgotten_Orokin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
A Tibetan bull walks into a bar, hoping to pull off a swindle.

The bartender looks at him and says, β€œYou must be here for a cognac.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shu-di
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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What do you get when you cross a pit bull and a computer?

Not sure !! But when it megabytes, it megahertz.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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How do you keep a bull from charging?

Take away its credit card.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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How to Castrate a Bull, in Limerick Form

I've two bulls who just love to fight //
they simply cannot be polite //
Just one needs to breed //
and so I'll proceed //
to castrate the weak one tonight

The procedure is safe, I insist //
if we make the blood flow desist //
to make bleeding halt //
do the "ball somersault" //
and give that whole sack a huge twist

To do this requires no skill //
I'll just need a quite large power-drill //
and a specialized clamp //
to hold on to that champ //
then turn it on fast- what a thrill!

It is clear this device should appeal //
to those who need bulls with less zeal //
I shall name this device //
with a drill and a vise //
the most perfect of names: "Steering Wheel!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chordus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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Why don’t people use bulls to travel?

Because they go when the stop light is red!

(Sorry if this was bad)

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yeet_Boi21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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Why are bull testicles so expensive?

Deer testicles are usually under a buck!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elver-Galarga7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the bull say to his son leaving for university?

β€œBison”

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-Eegee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a hot dog and a pit bull?

A pit bull bites the hand that feeds it, while a hot dog feeds the hand that bites it.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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A Bull and a cow were getting ready for bed.

The bull insistent on having sex until the female cow replied.

β€œ Honey I’m not in the moood.”

I uh I’m gonna go now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheShapehalloween
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Pills for the bull

I recently spent $46,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.

Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day. The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine!

I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ...but they kind of taste like peppermint.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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Why couldn't the Macaw and the Bull never produce any offspring?

It would've created a parrot-ox.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EastlyGod1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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My cousin is trying to fit the most elephants, geese and bulls ever in a vintage music shop.

He's breaking all sorts of records.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Red bull gives you wings
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Walking through East London, I asked my friend: β€œWhy is there a bull in that charity shop?”

He replied, β€œThat’s an Ox, fam”

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eormada
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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Just got a credit card bill with a camouflaged bull printed on it...!?

..It's the hidden charges you have to watch out for.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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I asked a guy in a pub if he wanted a game of darts. He said β€œOK, nearest the bull starts”. ...

He went β€œBaaa” I went β€œMoooo” He said ok you start.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Gerald, a young bull elephant was using the bathroom at his girlfriend's Bethany's apartment when he noticed one of those little pregnancy test things, tucked behind the cupboard...

... he picked it up carefully with his trunk and peered at the little window with a racing heart...

Positive! ... Brenda was pregnant!

OMG... fear, excitement, shock... and yet more worrying "why hasn't she told me?"

A hundred scenarios raced through his head, his ears trembling, his trunk twitching as each played out...

Finally he calmed... maybe she was waiting for the right moment to tell him the news?

He chose to be patient... he watched her carefully the whole day, carefully avoiding anything that might show that he knew... but Bethany gave no hints whatsoever.

Several days went by, and he grew more and more anxious.

Finally, he could take it no longer...

"Bethany..." he said

"It's time we discussed the elephant in the womb".

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fractiousrhubarb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My Himalayan friend has a bull that refuses to stand up.

I always see Himalayan there.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/engineerwho_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
To the scumbag that stole 300 cans of Red Bull from my store,

I don't know how you can sleep at night.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My house got broken into last night and they stole over 100 cans of red bull..

I don’t know how they sleep at night

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tackit286
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sunsquared
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Pit-bull Jokes

What do you call a pit-bull that lives in Florida?

>!A hot dog!<

What do you call a pit-bull that lives in Alaska?

>!A chillie-dog!<

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a herd of cows on this big hill. A big gust of wind came by and blew all the smaller cows away. Puzzled, the rancher went up to one of the bulls that were still standing and asks,"How come you bulls are still standing?" The bull replies...

"Cuz we bulls wobble but we don't fall down."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an invisible bull?

Steer clear

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bull dozer.

(As told by a 9 year old)

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
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Bull’s eye
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WaitingSparkle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
a Dora bull
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frogGuardian
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
How can you tell a bull from a cow?

Look underneath and if it ain’t one thing, it’s an udder.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quibblicous
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bull that runs away?

A cow-ard!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
There is a bunch of teenagers in my town who keep stealing Red Bull from convenience stores.

I don’t know how they sleep at night.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Red Bull gives you wings.. literally!
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuirkySpend
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a pit bull?

A pit bull.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Somethinggood4
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My credit card company sent me a camouflaged bull.

It’s the hidden charges you have to watch out for.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ocbrad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a hot dog and a pit bull?

A pit bull bites the hand that feeds it, and a hot dog feeds the hand that bites it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone stole hundreds of cans of Red Bull from our local store.

I don’t know how they can sleep at night.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
A shoplifter stole an entire case of red bull from my store

I don’t know how he sleeps at night

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theredditballer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
🚨︎ report

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