My wife spent years perfecting blue box macaroni and cheese.
It took a long time, but she finally honed her Kraft.
Today someone bought our department a box of donuts and some lotto tickets. The potential grand prize was $3,000, in which my boss exclaimed "Well that isn't enough to retire".
I corrected him by saying that is plenty of money to buy some new tires for your car.
The physical pain on his face was priceless.
I found a knife at the bottom of my ornament box (no idea why) so I picked it up and announced “‘twas the knife before Christmas!”
Do you wanna box for your leftovers?
No but I’ll wrestle you for them.
Buying a box of Duraflame logs always requires a little thought...
I have to decide if I have $20 to burn.
When I was digging through the wardrobe on the weekend, I managed to find a present for the kids that I wrapped in a box last year and forgot to give them. Bargain
Can't wait to see their faces when they realize they have a puppy.
I once had a faulty box of Corn Flakes so I called up Kellogg's customer services to see if they could help.
Unfortunately they weren't able to help me in the end as I wasn't able to find the box's cereal number.
Thai girls are like a box of chocolates....
You never know which ones have the nuts.
Life is like a box of chocolates...
It's destroyed remarkably fast by an emotional woman.
I'm going to open a pizza joint where they shake a box a bit before they hand it to you.
I'll call it Little Seizures.
My waiter asked me if I wanna box for my leftovers.
I said, "No but I'll wrestle you for them."
Her personality is like a box of Tide
All it does is deter gents
What did the ship’s cat use instead of a litter box?
Did you hear about the spies who planted tiny microphones inside a box of tic-tacs?
I bought a box of condoms from the store the other day and the cashier asked me if I wanted a bag
I said “nah, I’ll just turn the lights off.”
What transformer is made out of cardboard box and arrives in two days?
Every morning, I wake up to find someone has dumped a box of play doh in front of my door.
I don’t know what to make of it.
Do you guys want to know what I put in the wooden box I made and threw in the ocean?
Never mind it’s a sea-crate....
(I made this up please don’t murder me)
My boyfriend’s cat, Jack, recently discovered the Amazon box lying on the floor. He jumped in and started playing in it. I guess you can say....
My waitress just asked “ Do you wanna box for your food?”
I told her “No I would rather wrestle for it”.
There was a locked metal box at an auction. The auctioneer said it was from the 1920’s and owned by really wealthy man. There could’ve been some really valuable stuff in it or it could just be empty. I didn’t want to bid anymore than $100 on it.
I thought it was a safe bet.
Why are cats considered mindful when their is an open gift box nearby?
Because they always live in the present.
I just threw away an entire box of animal crackers.
I had to because the seal was broken.
I tripped over a box of Kleenex when coming home, needing an ER visit!
Don't worry--it's only tissue damage...
Why can't beggers be allowed in court for selection to the Jury box like any other non felon citizen?
Cuz, beggers can't be choosers!
The orthopedic surgeon finally found his model of the human wrist behind an old box of golf tees
I guess you could say he couldn’t see the faux wrist for the tees.
The waiter approached me as I finished eating and asked, “you wanna box for those leftovers?”
I replied, “No, I hate violence. May I just pay for it with my card?”
Last week I was on the edge of a cliff, holding on to a box full of shredded cheese. I loved that box, but I knew I had to let it go. I didn’t want to...
But it was for the grater good
I just got sent a severed penis in a box with no address
Guess it was an anonymous tip
My dog ate an entire box of crayons by himself and got a horrible stomach ache.
A chicken was put into the penalty box during a hockey game.
Apparently he was suspected of fowl play.
Waiter: Do you wanna box for your leftover food?
Dad: No thanks, but I’ll wrestle you for them.
I got my wife a copy of the Pixar movie Up when it came out a long time ago, but she dropped it while opening it. She dropped it so many times over the years that the box is very damaged and the disc is no longer playable. Her other movies are perfectly fine, but not this one.
She did not hold Up well.
They were in the same damn box!
Why did they bury the sick box underground?
I made a small house with a cardboard box for the group of 10 ants running around in my room. Technically, I am now their landlord and they are my...
I saw a great deal online for a 'Replica Rolex' for only $50. I just opened the box and found it is completely made of wood...
To make matters worse, it is covered with a dark circular imperfection in the wood grain. I won't accept this - knot on my watch.
I am opening a soap box derby themed restaurant
Everything in the menu is *a la carte
This is (practically) the corniest gift imaginable. At the bottom of the soon to be gift wrapped box of corniness was a pair of Korn tickets for my lady...who enjoys my corny puns.
Someone brought a box full of flue dirt to the formal dress gala for the chimney sweepers...
It was quite suity in there!
At the restaurant, my family was nearly finished eating and I still had half a plate of food left. The waitress asked, "Do you wanna box for that?"
I replied, "No thanks, I'd rather wrestle for it!"
Waiter: do want a box for your leftovers?
Me: no. But I’ll wrestle you for them!
Do you want a box for your leftovers?
No, but I'll wrestle you over them.
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