Bagel Puns
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︎ Mar 14 2019
I got fired today because a customer wanted to buy a bagel with cream cheese....
I told them we only accept cash.
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︎ Apr 14 2021
I went to a deli and said, I'd like to buy a bagel with cream cheese
The kid behind the counter said, sorry we only take cash or credit cards
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︎ Mar 11 2021
What type of bagel can fly?
A plain bagel!
Credit to my 8 year old, I'm raising him right.
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︎ Feb 23 2021
What do you call a store that sells only bagels and donuts?
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︎ Jan 16 2021
What do you call a flying bagel?
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︎ Jan 20 2021
What do you call a female bagel?
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︎ Feb 03 2021
Bagels
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︎ Oct 04 2020
So if a bird lives by the sea itβs a seagull. If it lives by the bay itβs bagel.
So if itβs covered in slime, is it a googull?
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︎ Jan 10 2021
My boss brought bagels for breakfast and asked me which one I wanted. I said "give me one of the Spanish bagels". He responded " One of the Spanish Bagels?"
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︎ Nov 14 2020
What did the bagel say when he was about to get eaten at breakfast?
Excuse me, but I'd like to propose a toast!
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︎ Dec 06 2020
Whatβs the only kind of bagel that knows how to fly?
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︎ Nov 11 2020
Excuse me, why are there only donuts, bagels, and swiss cheese at this store?
Sir this is a Hole Foods.
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︎ Nov 05 2020
How did the bagel shop owner get rid of the competition on his block?
He ran a pretty intense schmear campaign
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︎ Aug 29 2020
How do you make Bagels?...
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︎ Jun 06 2020
What do you deserve thats also a type of bagel?
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︎ Jun 30 2020
What kind of bagel do pilots like?
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︎ Nov 08 2018
Do you know that a religious person should have bagels for breakfast everyday?
They are as holy as food can get.
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︎ Mar 13 2020
What do you call a bagel that flies?
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︎ Oct 31 2019
My wife and I were deciding what to eat for breakfast when she asked, βHave you ever tried raisin bagels?β
I replied, βI didnβt know you could raise bagels.β
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︎ Sep 27 2019
A bagel is halloween the middle.
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︎ Oct 15 2019
We are standing at Depoe Bay, Oregon watching the whales. I point at a bird (ironically), βlook Patty, a seagull!β My wife replies, βno, itβs a bagel.β βWhy is it a bagel?β βBecause itβs over the BAY!β Thatβs pretty funny, but...
The thing is she didnβt just make up this joke, but this is the first time Iβve heard it. Weβve been married for 18 years. That means that sheβs been waiting for 18 years until we were near the ocean, at a bay, waiting for a seagull to fly over. The dad joke is above average, but statistically speaking, she has my respect 100%.
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︎ Jul 06 2019
Today I went to a college visit, and in order to speed up the line for food I just grabbed some butter for my bagel and put it in my pocket
My sister said, oh no, it almost fell out! You butter watch it! ;D
Iβm so proud of her, Iβve raised her well
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︎ Apr 28 2019
What type of bagels can fly
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︎ Aug 19 2019
Protect your bagels.
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︎ Jul 04 2019
I donβt know why everyone is so surprised at the reaction of the short guy in the bagel shop
Itβs a well known fact that 6/7 dwarfs arenβt Happy
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︎ Jul 25 2019
What is an airline pilots favorite type of bagel?
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︎ Sep 17 2018
Customer: "I'd like to buy a bagel with cream cheese."
Cashier: "Sorry, we only accept cash."
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︎ Mar 17 2021
What kind of bagel can fly?
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︎ Jul 08 2020
What kind of bagel kan fly
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︎ Mar 04 2020
What kind of bagel can fly?
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︎ Mar 09 2020
What kind of bagel can fly?
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︎ Nov 16 2019
What kind of bagel can fly?
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︎ Nov 10 2019
What kind of bagel can fly?
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︎ Nov 05 2019
What kind of bagel can fly?
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︎ Mar 03 2019
What do you call a Bagel that can fly?
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︎ Aug 18 2019
What kind of bagel can fly?
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︎ Nov 11 2019
What type of bagel can fly?
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︎ Aug 06 2019
What kind of bagel can fly?
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︎ Nov 04 2019
What Bagel can fly? A "plane" Bagel.
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︎ Nov 23 2019
What kind of bagel can fly?
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︎ Nov 08 2019
What type of bagel can fly?
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︎ Sep 23 2019
What kind of bagel can fly?
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︎ Nov 02 2018
What kind of bagel can fly?
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︎ May 31 2019
What kind of bagel can fly?
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︎ Jun 25 2018
what kind of bagel can fly?
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︎ Feb 26 2019
Have you heard about my store that only sells organic donuts, bagels, and swiss cheese?
Weβre calling it Hole Foods.
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︎ Jun 04 2019
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