How did the bagel shop owner get rid of the competition on his block?

He ran a pretty intense schmear campaign

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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I don’t know why everyone is so surprised at the reaction of the short guy in the bagel shop

It’s a well known fact that 6/7 dwarfs aren’t Happy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/havenlad
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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On the door at my local bagel shop:
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BettyBoda
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2017
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You hear about the new OB/GYN bagel shop?

It's called the Pap Schmear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/davidtheday
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2017
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Wife Dad Joked Me (no kids)

Set up: We were walking down a trendy street and I noticed a priest inside a bagel shop.
Me: "That priest is pretty hip."
Her: "You know why he must like their bagels?"
... "Because they're Holy"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ski_or_swim
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2015
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My friend's dad's Facebook posts are golden

*Khakis: What you need to start the car in Boston.

*Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

*Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.

*What do you call a cow who gives no milk? ...A milk dud (or an udder failure)

*There was a terrible fight reported in our local shopping center. It just so happened that a news reporter from one of our local stations was there to record the entire episode. It was an altercation between a prominent dentist and a manicurist. Their disagreement escalated to the point that they wound up fighting each other tooth and nail.

*The little old woman who lived in a shoe wasn't the sole owner - there were strings attached.

*I recently saw a theatrical performance on puns... turned out, it was just a play on words!

*Have you ever tried watching a magician with an anger management problem? Every time he gets mad, he pulls his hare out!

*If you lose your hearing, is it ear replaceable? -Just wondering

*Harvard has long been known for its championship Rowing team – until this year. They had their first ever indecisive rower... he couldn’t choose either oar.

*I found an excellent seamstress who is so enthusiastic about her work that she's happy to make a pair of pants for you …or at least sew its seams.

*No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

*I bought a new weed whacker yesterday & it is cutting-hedge technology!

*Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.

*I read about a recent fire at the circus. The heat was in tents.

*I was saddened to hear that our local bakery was going out of business. They said they had decided to stop making donuts after they got tired of the hole thing.

*I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.

*Why do seagulls fly over the sea? …Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!!

*I wonder if their manure spreader is the only equipment John Deere won't stand behind.

*I saw a very emotional wedding recently... even the cake was in tiers!

*I'm glad I'm not a cross-eyed teacher... otherwise I'd find it too difficult to control my pupils!

*What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window? ...Snow and Tell

*I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

*The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.

*What kind of math do Snowy Owls like? …Owlgebra

*What

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gwildcat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2014
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