π︎ 12
π
︎ Oct 21 2018
It's an Archie Bunker! I built a replica of the All in the Family house INSIDE a giant basement in the Sims 4.
reddit.com/gallery/mv4w82
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 21 2021
I challenged my son, "Take 4 and subtract 2 from it. Whatβs left? Rolling his eyes, he sighed, "2." I yelled, NOPE!"
π︎ 481
π
︎ Mar 13 2021
The Argyle Sweater for the weekend of 4/17/2021-4/18/2021
π︎ 14
π
︎ Apr 17 2021
In Jamaica, a slice of apple pie costs about $3.50. In the Bahamas, it costs about $4.00.
Those are the pie rates of the caribbean.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Apr 16 2021
If you couldn't celebrate 4/20 yesterday, you can celebrate it tomorrow instead.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Apr 21 2021
I ate all of my 4 leaf clovers.
Now all my lucks turned to shit.
π︎ 68
π
︎ Apr 14 2021
Whst is 3/7 chicken, 2/3 cat and 2/4 goat ?
π︎ 187
π
︎ Feb 12 2021
Why was 4 afraid to ask out 5?
Because he was 2 squared.
π︎ 883
π
︎ Jan 20 2021
Itβs a rare occurrence when a pun gives you a religious experience. The Argyle Sweater for 4/2/2021
π︎ 29
π
︎ Apr 03 2021
Real conversation with my 4-yr-old
My wife and I had just finished watching the Chipmunks movie with our 4-year-old son. This conversation soon followed:
Son: Is Feeadore real?
Wife: No, he's not real, sweetheart.
Son: Are there real chickmunks?
Wife: Yes, there are.
Son: Have you ever seen chickmunks?
Wife: I sure have.
Me: They're usually called nuns, though.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Apr 23 2021
3 men were in a boat with 4 cigarettes, but nothing to light them with.
So they threw one overboard and the boat became a cigarette lighter.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 29 2021
What has 4 legs and goes AAAaaaah ?
π︎ 25
π
︎ Apr 05 2021
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison.
Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
I went to the geometry store because I was looking to buy a shape with 4 or less sides...
But I couldnβt find any! They were all gons!!!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 11 2021
Whatβs a 4 letter for a woman ending with βuntβ?
π︎ 234
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
What do you call a 4-year-old frog?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 02 2021
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once
π︎ 48
π
︎ Mar 17 2021
I farted on the bus today and 4 people turned around
Felt like I was on The Voice.
Stolen from dad jokes
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 30 2021
What do you get when you combine a 4 leaf clover, with poison ivy?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 17 2021
Today marks the 77th anniversary that my grandfather was responsible for bringing down 4 German bombers in one day during the war
He was the worst mechanic the luftwaffe ever had
π︎ 28
π
︎ Mar 02 2021
4
4 out of 3 people struggle with math.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Feb 16 2021
What's green, has 4 legs, and could kill you if it fell out of a tree?
π︎ 234
π
︎ Dec 20 2020
I bet my 4 kids $5 I could jump higher than my house
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 09 2021
My 4-year-old got crumbs in his eye and started rubbing his eye. He said it didn't hurt much and I said "Oh, so it's just a little irritating?"
He said "No, it's eye-itating."
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 19 2021
Do you know about the rock band that has 4 men who don't sing
They're called Mount. Rushmore
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 14 2021
What is the only 4 letter word sport that starts with a 'T'?
π︎ 760
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
My friend's 4 year old said this one: Why did the dad cross the road?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
My wife was trying decide between sweep rowing [4 or 8 rowers, one oar each] and sculling [one rower, two oars].
I told her she had to choose one oar the other.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Mar 08 2021
Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 4....
π︎ 107
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
My 4 year old just told her first dad joke, and I've never been more proud.
My pregnant wife is wearing a white shirt that has a pumpkin painted over her belly, for Halloween. We are having another little girl, and have set on the name Ellie.
My daughter comes home, and is greeted by my wife.
4yo: "I like your shirt mama!
Wife: "Aww thank you! Do you like my pumpkin belly?
4yo: "...I like your pumpkin Ellie!"
π︎ 900
π
︎ Oct 31 2020
How do you measure the heaviness of a 2.4 million Scoville chilli pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
After seeing a dead bird I had to tell my 4 year old what it means.
I said
it Δt :
pro. Used to refer to that one previously mentioned. Used of a nonhuman entity; an animate being whose sex is unspecified, unknown, or irrelevant; a group of objects or individuals; an action; or an abstraction.
pro. Used as the subject of an impersonal verb.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 13 2021
My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.
which I think is poor for four.
π︎ 375
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, occasionally has 12 letters, always has 6 letters, and never has 5 letters.
But nothing tops a cheese pizza.
π︎ 174
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
My wife tested my knowledge of common household herbs, and Iβm happy to say I got 4 out of 5 right.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Jan 29 2021
What did I do to confirm 2+2 was 4?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
What has 4 wheels and flies ?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jan 26 2021
I've completed 4 years of being single today.
Or Can I say I graduated my Bachelor's Degree?
π︎ 67
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
The chicken coop only had 2 doors since if it had 4 doors it would be a sedan.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 14 2021
Why didnβt 4 ask out 5?
π︎ 342
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
4 men were sitting in a boat about to smoke a cigarette, when they realized they didn't have a cigarette lighter.
So, they threw one cigarette off their boat and the boat became one cigarette lighter.
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Sep 26 2020
Three guys are on a boat with 4 cigarettes and no matchbox or lighter, what do they do?
They throw a cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
π︎ 72
π
︎ Feb 05 2021
3 men are stuck on a boat with 4 cigarettes, but nothing to light them with.
They throw one over board and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
π︎ 156
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
Pecan pie costs 3$ in Jamaica, but it costs $4 in Cuba
These are the pie-rates of the Caribbean.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
Why didnβt 4 ask out 5?
π︎ 77
π
︎ Jan 17 2021
You guys hear about the new rock band that has 4 men but donβt sing?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 06 2021
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