September, October, November, and December should have been the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th month.

Whoever screwed this upβ€”- I hope he got stabbed.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
What did Nike say in October?

Just doot

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aadhar690
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Guys I guess October is...

Octover

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Pretty unfortunate that October is now..

Oct-over

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MushuTheGreat17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October.

I call it my jingle bell rock!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jxwtf585
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
On October 5, 1520, the British discovered counting by 5's.

5/10/1520

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/damien665
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s FINALLY October...

This means all the cobwebs and dust in my home just became Halloween decorations.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
If there's a harvest moon in October.

Does that make it a Red October?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Qoheleth47
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s October 1st. Just checking:

Did anyone wake up Green Day today?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justoutofwaldorfs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s October, wanna hear a ghost story?

I was supposed to meet a girl for lunch, but I never showed.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/esthor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I think when this pandemic is over with, we need to have a day to celebrate truckers, for keeping the country running throughout all this. Maybe October 4th?

Call it the big 10-4.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ew0k5AN0nomi5
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a friend who was born on October 10th. Every year for his birthday I get him a 3 foot long fence pole. He hates it.

It might be stupid, but 10/10 wood post again.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I got a vasectomy scheduled for October 31st.

Doctor calls it his 'Hollow-ween' special.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jakiray6
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Looks like October is...

Octover

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ericmc80
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Last October, I was walking through the cemetery and I came across a trash can where someone had thrown out their Kraft halloween monster themed mac and cheese...

It was the mac.

It was the monster mac.

the monster mac

was in the graveyard trash.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brdain
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
October 10 is always a perfect day for me

10/10 - would spend the whole day again next year

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neospygil
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What makes October 4th such an agreeable day?

Ten-four

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryan56k
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Every October 31st, my dog begins baying loudly a loud, prolonged, mournful cry...

I guess he likes to celebrate Howloween...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
The clocks go back in October?

Well I'm fucked!

I have no idea where I bought mines from!?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkBlueMullet
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Personally I prefer Oak on October 10th (punchline in post)...

Cause I 10/10 wood recommend.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanp08
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What you call a hotdog suit hanging in the closet in October?

A hollow weenie costume.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mailfromphoenix
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
The American Ladder Institute has an annual meeting in October. They have several safety seminars and so on.

It’s their fall meeting.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/segfaulting_again
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I know it's after October 3rd but here goes
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jdauriemma
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Why is your firearm so excited for October?

Because it's a semi autumn addict

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yahtzee44444
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I went on reddit hunting for Sean Connery in r/October.

Sorry, wrong sub.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sloanautomatic
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear Jeff Bridges is going to star in the remake of Red October?

People thought he would be excited but he's been pretty Subdude.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flammable71
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
🚨︎ report
If an infant learns to eat solid food on October 31st...

Does that mean they Hallowean?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Silverr-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2017
🚨︎ report
Where do local delinquents stay for October

Punk-inn.

Like pumpkin.

I'll go sit down...

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did Avogadro stop going to the chiropractor on October 24?

He was only tense to the 23rd.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamthepunmaster
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2017
🚨︎ report
What do Jews celebrate on October 31st?

Challahween

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bravesaint
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2017
🚨︎ report
After my daugher was born this past October, the nurse came in and said it was time for some skin to skin.

I replied.... Skin to Skin?

That's how we got into this mess.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlmathis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you say to a hot dog on October 31?

Hello Weenie

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFifthStep
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2016
🚨︎ report
G'day reddit. Been a dad since October 2014, and just yesterday these hit me..

It started off pretty innocently. I was at work doing work stuff (I'm an apprentice boilermaker if you want to know) and came up with this...

Q. How did the bacon get to hospital? A. In the HAMbulance.

Kinda just snowballed from there...

Q. How did the sheep get to hospital? A. In the RAMbulance.

Q. How did the oyster get to hospital? A. In the CLAMbulance.

Q. How did the marmalade get to the hospital? A. In the JAMbulance.

I decided to post my hilarity on Facebook, and my brother in law dropped this one:

Q. How did the martial artist get to hospital? A. In the JEANCLAUDEVANDAMMEbulance.

And my sister chimed in too:

Q. How did the Beaver get to hospital? A. In the DAMbulance.

The next thing I knew, it just wouldn't stop...THEY JUST KEPT COMING OUT OF MY BRAIN!

Q. How did the sweet potato get to hospital? A. In the YAMbulance.

Q. How did the Indian get to hospital? A. In the PAPADAMbulance.

Q. How did the other Indian get to hospital? A. In the WIGWAMbulance.

Q. How did the insomniac get to hospital? A. In the DIAZAPAMbulance.

Q. How did the baby get to hospital? A. In the PRAMbulance.

Q. How did The Flash get to hospital? A. In the SHAZAMbulance.

I went to bed around 8.30pm. NO SLEEP FOR ME, MORE DAD JOKES TO THINK ABOUT!

Q. How did Sean Penn get to the hospital? A. In the IAMSAMbulance.

Q. How did Dr Suess get to the hospital? A. In the SAMIAMbulance.

Q. How did the exhibitionist get to hospital? A. In the WEBCAMbulance.

Q. How did the 80's pop stars get to hospital? A. In the WHAMbulance.

Q. How did the air hostess get to hospital? A. In the PAN-AMbulance.

Q. How did the POW get to hospital? A. In the VIETNAMbulance.

I'm pretty much spent at this point, but thought I would share with you guys. Maybe you've got more of your own to add?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/azureal
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2015
🚨︎ report
Dad calls me up and tells me, "On this October 21, 2015, I see most of the people with bad manners are gone ...

... we're Back to the Few Churls."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlking3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2015
🚨︎ report
What did Nike say in October?

Just doot

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aadhar690
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October.

I call it my jingle bell rock.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jxwtf585
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a friend who was born on October 10th. Every year for his birthday I get him a 3 foot long pole. He hates it.

It might be stupid, but 10/10 wood post again.

πŸ‘︎ 450
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FaolCroi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a friend who was born on October 10th. Every year for his birthday I get him a 3 foot long fence pole. He hates it.

It might be stupid, but 10/10 wood post again.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Reap268
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I always carry a stone with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October.

I call it my jingle bell rock.

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Looks like October is…. Octover
πŸ‘︎ 206
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ericmc80
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Looks like October is...

Octover

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/onrv
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2016
🚨︎ report

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