Why isn't the 24th of July a holiday?

Are we really expected to work 24/7?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notakat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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My birthday is on July 24th, shame I was born in america. If I was born anywhere else....

my birthday would be 24/7

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aglaz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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Do they have July 4th in Great Britain?

Yes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reedandsue
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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Apparently, schools will now run from September right through till July with no holidays....

It's a long term solution.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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My kid asked me what's my favorite month and I answered, "July".

She asked again: Why July?

I said: I didn't lie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/detharos
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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Happy 1st of July
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chchnz88
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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I asked my kids when they wanted to go on vacation. I asked β€œWould July to August be okay?”

My son replied, β€œWhy would I lie to August? That’s not nice.”

I got dad-schooled.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.

Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeusJZ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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Both my ex and I were born in July

She said I was a crab.

I said she was cancer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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Does England have a 4th of July?

Of coarse they do, it doesn’t jump from July 3rd to July 5th.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisprater6986
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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Some people enjoy a day off on the 4th of July.

But not fire. . . . . Fire works on 4th of July.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YeaOrna
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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I was just chillin by the pool on the 4th of July with my 11 yr old. I told him I got a little Sun...

And then you had a growth spurt.

It took him a few minutes...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvanzandd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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Not everyone has Happy 4th of July.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andrepreached
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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Why are there no knock knock jokes about the Fourth of July?

Because freedom rings.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gasoline-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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Every year on July 4th a group of ants get together inside a pen and have a dancing party.

It's "In the Pen Dance Day"!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/defa90
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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My sister and I were making a pie for the 4th of July

After making it, we opened the fridge to cool it. After being unable to find space for it, I suggested we move the steaks that my mom is saving for dinner. As we put them on a higher shelf, I looked at her and said β€œThe steaks have been raised”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miki-Corkrei
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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The USA turns 241 years old this July 4th...

... which means that it will go back to being indivisible

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πŸ‘€︎ u/soxman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2017
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Happy 4th July :D
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CookieMcCrumble
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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My boss said that an outdoor concert was fine this fourth of July celebration despite the forecast f rain...

Just so I cover all the bassists.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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National Orgasm day is coming (July 31)

You should really try to get off that day if you can.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paddirn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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Everywhere else it’s July 24 except the UK

where it’s the end of May.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZonieDrew
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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Selling fireworks around the 4th of July must be a booming industry
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πŸ‘€︎ u/delmastron
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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'Fire works' sign on the 4th of July at the Fanny Bay trail (Osceola forest, FL)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JelloPud
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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What do you call a duck on the Fourth of July?

A firequacker!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/glucose-fructose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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Since my kids last birthday in July no one has asked me...

... how old my kids are.

This is going to be a missed opportunity as their next birthday is creeping up fast (this coming July obviously).

Their ages? 7 and 11. πŸ˜”

I just want to be able to say 7-11.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NZOC
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
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While driving my wife says to me: there is a problem with my check in July.

Me: check in July?

Wife: yes, it is on

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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What do you eat on the 5th of July

Independence day old pizza

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dogman0565
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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A 4th of July riddle:

What’s the difference between George Washington and a duck?

One has his face on a bill and the other has a bill on his face.

Be safe this holiday and have a great weekend !!!

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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My girlfriend and I broke up on July 4th.

I guess that’s why they call it Independence Day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hyacinthocornu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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Happy Fourth of July!!!

But have you wondered where the other 75% is?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/davekrawczyk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
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Every year my town has a 4th of July track meet during the day, and any age can compete. My geologist dad, heavy set and not ready to compete, entered the mile and obviously did poorly, but he crossed the finish line, gave me a shit-eating grin and said:

"......gneiss guys finish last."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2017
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I have a friend who was born on July 5th. Every year for his birthday I get him a 3 foot long fence post. He hates it.

It might be stupid, but 5/7 wood post again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rikers_lightsaber
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
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4th of July joke

Did you hear about the firecracker that wouldn't explode?

It refused

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Murphy223
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
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I opened a can of beer and on the side it said, β€œBest drunk before July, 2018.”

It feels great to be finally recognized for my achievements.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2018
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This July heat really gets to me (guess the pun!)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiggidytom
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2017
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My dad said that he got divorced on the 4th of July.

He got the paperwork on the 2nd and waited to sign until the 4th because it's "Independence day"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squach509
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
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What do you call a snowman in July?

A puddle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/P1QEL
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
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for the 4th of july, here's a little known america fact: did you know that as the national bird, there’s a whole list of things that you can’t do to an eagle under federal law?

obviously you can't kill one, but you also can't relocate one from where it's living, cause an eagle nest to come to any harm, and the oddest part, as i'm not sure how they'd even track this, is there's even a bit in the law about infecting them with any communicable diseases?

but i suppose there's really no way around that being ill eagle

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
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Me to my wife: What is the best way to start the 4th of July?

With a bang! πŸ‘‰πŸ‘Œ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pickled_Ramaker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2017
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Some people enjoy a day off on the 4th of July....

But not fire....fire works on the 4th of July

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LogOffPleez
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
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Everyone has the 4th of July off except fire

Fireworks on the 4th of July

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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Why was fire sad on July 4th?

Because fire works on July 4th

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vshesha
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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Selling fireworks around the 4th of July must be a really...

Booming industry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/delmastron
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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Some people have off on July 4th. Fire does not. Fire works on the Fourth of July
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PandaYoshi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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Some people enjoy a day off on the 4th of July, except for fire

Fire works on the 4th of July

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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