4th Of July Jokes Puns

Did you hear about the firecracker that wouldn't explode?

It refused

We're talking about that poor guy who passed on after accidentally lighting fireworks attached to his head on the 4th.

My wife: "I mean, what do you even say that guy's funeral?"

Me: "Well, at least he went out with a bang."

We had bought some snake fireworks for my two year old to look at. Our driveway was wet from all of the rain we were getting. We found a piece of wood to lay down so the fireworks didn't get wet. That's when I said "Look! It's snakes on a plank!"

My friends were talking about what they were doing for the 4th of July and we were all going out of town except for one friend. She said "I'll be here, holding down the fort."

"You mean holding down the 4th?"

My dad came back from Egypt and we are celebrating the 4th of July. At a bbq we were eating lunch with the neighborhood. And somebody was joking about denail being great to my dad. Neighbor dad: 'well denial solves a lot of problems hahaha.'

Dad: I just came back from Egypt and I'll tell you da'NILE is pretty great!'